I Older

It’s Throwback Thursday, and like I did last year, here are some things that will reach its Silver Jubilee this year that I enjoyed when they first came out. Pass me a bag of Werthers and my Bonne Bell Lip Smackers as I pay remembrance of fun things past.

–Spice Girls mania! Platform shoes and mindlessly chanting “girl power”–it was fun to be a teen then. Well, until you did P.E. in said platform shoes; then it sucked. How I survived running laps in shoes Baby Spice would’ve approved is beyond me.

–one word: MMMBop

–two words: Da Dip

–three words: Encore Une Fois

–four words: Gettin’ Jiggy With It 

(and, look, no autotune in any of those songs)

Giga Pets. I was the proud owner of a few. I occasionally get awful flashbacks of seeing my pet get its angel wings when I least expected it. I swear, I took care of my tech fur babies and never neglected them!

–the debut of King Of The Hill, I tell ya hwat

Buffy The Vampire Slayer!!! And the rise of fierce, kick-ass female characters on TV (Buffy, Xena, and eventually Dark Angel, Alias, and, yes, the OG Powerpuff Girls). Incels be damned.

South Park, which also debuted in ’97

–Mariah’s Butterfly album

–Erykah Badu’s Baduizm album (which spawned a brief period of me imitating her with towels wrapped atop my head and body while I badly sung her songs)

–and the following albums: Supa Dupa Fly, The Velvet Rope, The Fat Of The Land, Middle Of Nowhere, Wyclef Jean Presents The Carnival, No Way Out, Share My World, and, of course, Spice World!

DARIA!

–Cover Girl makeup and that unforgettable Noxzema smell from their “Clean” makeup. 1997 was the year I first got into makeup, and thanks to those ads with Niki Taylor and Tyra Banks, I wanted to be easy, breezy, and beautiful. I grew up to be just easy.

–these bad girls:

lip smackers!

Tropical Punch and Bubble Gum were my true besties that year.

–Clinique’s Happy, which also debuted in ’97

–Body Fantasies body sprays. Raspberry and Pear were my jams, and, along with Clinique’s Happy, were smells that quickly take me back to junior high. Why those scents got discontinued and got replaced by what-dats like “Twilight Mist” (huh?) and “Romance & Dreams” (wha?!) is a major disservice to us olds who just want to relive our youth through cheap body sprays!

–these movies: Men In Black, Good Burger, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, I Know What You Did Last Summer, George Of The Jungle, Anastasia, Scream 2, and the underrated cinematic masterpiece known as Beverly Hills Ninja!

–that one time a student in my 8th grade class got a bootleg of Titanic and showed it to us during free period. I didn’t get the movie’s hype at the time and I wasn’t into Leo DiCaprio like almost all the other girls were back then.

–shopping at Mervyn’s so I can get the latest pair of ellemeno super flares. By the way, all that hype over Gen Z “bringing back bell-bottoms” needs to cease completely. Their Gen-X parents and us old millenials first brought them back in the 90s, and when we were wearing them, it was a far less polarizing time. Unlike, you know, now.

when rap music videos were supa dupa truly fire

when slow jams were romantic and sexy!

So much good good that happened in ’97, and I can’t post ’em all here. But I can say happy belated birthday to this fun megamix from Wild 107.7, broadcasted 25 years ago this month. I listened to a lot of Wild 107.7 (which moved to 94.9FM in ’97, I think) back then, so maybe I heard all this when it originally played. Or maybe not. Oh, who cares–just party!

The Sleazy Ol’ Days

This week’s Throwback Thursday is brought to you by a Tumblr dedicated to 2000s-era celebrity culture, better known as Pop Culture Died In 2009! For those who miss that era of genuine yet outrageous celebrity gossip, before social media, so-called smartphones, and manufactured PR killed off the fun, PCDin2009 is for you! Ah, the no-filter days of the 3 Bs (Britney, Brangelina, and Bennifer), Jacko and Tommy Cruise going off the rails, Lindsay playing with knives and writing “Scarlett is a bloody cunt” on a bathroom wall (among all the other crazy shit she did back then), and starlets going out sans panties and flipping off paparazzi after getting wasted in the clubs…and doing it all again next week. If there was a perfume inspired by that time frame, it would be called Eau So Trashy and its smell would be a mix of spray tanner, a worn-out Ed Hardy shirt, Club LAX on a Saturday night, and Deliciously Kissable Belly Button Love Potion Fragrance from Jessica Simpson’s defunct but not forgotten “Dessert” line. And yes I’d buy a few bottles of that. Anything to remind me of my 20s.

Bonus shit for those also craving 2000s-era nostalgia: notorious hotspots of Young Hollywood back then and an insightful interview with the creator of that cool Tumblr site. 

That GIF that captures the essence of 2000s-era celeb culture courtesy of Pop Culture Died In 2009

Kylie To The Rescue Yet Again

I needed a pick-me-up, and my queen comes thru again!

Once in a while, a real interesting headline gets posted on Reddit. While I’ve seen this story before, like pictures of cats, I never get tired of seeing it. One user posted a link to the video below. I never saw this vintage lingerie ad of Kylie’s before, and all I can say is WOW! 

And just like that, No Nut November became instantly cancelled and ruined by the many men that watched this. 

 

 

Hump Day Par-tay

For those who don’t know, I LIVE for super-long 90s dance megamixes. And I gotta thank those YouTube users who have uploaded vintage BBC Essential Mixes, for without them, I wouldn’t have discovered this powerhouse mix, played 25 years ago on this date by DJ Carl Cox. (The date listed in the video is notated the UK way.) I actually first heard of this mix eight years ago, and every time I play it, I turn into a one-woman rave–minus the glow sticks, pacifiers, and ecstasy pills because I have none of those things. 

Besides, when cheaters lose on the championship level, it’s always a good day to party!

 

Let’s Get Spooked

In honor of the two upcoming scary holidays, namely Halloween and the day I get another year closer to menopause, I’ve been binge-watching a childhood favorite show of mine: Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, whose very first episode, according to the Wiki, premiered on Nickelodeon as a Halloween special in—wait for it….1991! I don’t know if my attraction to spooky stuff had to do with being born before Halloween, but shows like AYAOFD, as well as R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps books and going to haunted houses in general excited me as a kid.

I’ve watched most of the episodes on that Top 10 list (I’ve yet to get to the late 90s episodes), and while the Top 4 are solid picks, naturally, there were a few that should’ve been on the list. No “The Tale Of The Hatching”? No “The Tale Of The Quicksilver”? Or “The Tale Of The Night Shift”? And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, get your ass to Paramount+ or buy the episodes on YouTube or Vudu and watch them all right now!

Shows Of My Childhood!

Continuing with my 1991-themed Throwback Thursdays for this merry month of October, I realized two things. 1) I want to get my hair as big, teased, and voluminous as Cindy Crawford’s back in the day. Bring back an old trend to end the whole sleek, flat hair craze that’s become so played out. And 2) Us kids then had it MADE when it came to cartoons and kids’ shows 30 years ago. The youths of today can wear shirts that say “Rugrats” and “Ren & Stimpy” with the characters on them, but not only did us really old Millenials (1981-85 babies rise up) do that first, we got to watch those shows when they originally aired! In addition to watching childhood icons like Angelica’s raggedy-ass Cynthia doll, Powdered Toast Man, and Little Pete’s Petunia every week, there was this memorable song us kids sang just for that “makes me wanna fart” line let’s be real:

And to think, if my cousin was not there at the right place at the right time 30 years ago, I wouldn’t have witnessed all this and would’ve been reincarnated as a basic who thinks fun is taking duck-lipped selfies every other minute. *shudders* 

Queens!!

Happiest of birthdays today to two of the fiercest women to have walked this planet, Judge Judy Sheindlin and Carrie Fisher! Talented, fearless icons who never acted brainless, never stunted for attention, and didn’t have to buy their way to prominence. Rest in eternal peace to Carrie, and may Judy continue to berate criminal lessers on TV (while making millions for less than two months of work) for years to come!