Happy Assiversary

I was reading the archives of Dlisted to remind me of how fun both celeb gossip and that website used to be (sorry, Michael K, but it had to be said), and while seeing what was posted 10 years ago today, I came across some ass. No, not some story on Jimmy Fallon, but an actual ass (who was also Dlisted’s Hot Slut of the Day), flaunted by a Bums fan at a Bums home game to…a Bums pitcher?!

It happened to be at a game that saw the debut of then-rookie/current MVP Bryce Harper, and you don’t get any more Dodgers than one of their fans mooning the pitcher of their team. It’s one thing when I flaunted cleavage at a Giants home game when both Madison Bumgarner and Jacob DeGrom (when he had the lovely long locks) were pitching, but it wasn’t out of distraction as it was ho-ing myself and showing my thirst for hot star pitchers. Maybe that was the actual intention of that mooner, but we’ll never know.

Pic courtesy of Dlisted

A True King

Happiest of birthdays today to NBA Hall of Famer, sports legend, author, actor, social activist, and truth bomb thrower Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! My 2nd best NBA player of all-time (don’t get me started on that list). I had a chance to see him when he did an event at the Lesher Center a couple months ago, but damn that I had to work that day! I hope there will be a next time (I make an effort to see my legends), but until then, I’ll always have those 80s Laker games and, of course, this:

Go Alyssa!

After hearing about a sad celebrity passing and a potential future mess (oh lordt why), I needed some happy news. Leave it to mah baseball team to come thru, not just on the scoreboard, but in the history books:

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Like many things in a sports game, this wasn’t even planned. That the Giants (and not, you know, the Dodgers) was the first to make this happen makes it all the more kick-ass!

Random Nonsense 3/5

It’s International Women’s Month so let’s watch the misogyny on social media (posted by out-of-touch meatsacs) reach new heights! And of course there will be many, many Reddit posts this month on how great men are, how cool this male celebrity is, how amazing the Ukrainian male soldiers fighting against Russian forces are, how awesome some Formula 1 male driver is, and how foolish some girl on social media or female movie/TV character is. Just check the first two pages of this every day and you know I’m not lying. (Spoiler alert: it’s like that every month.)

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It’s also March and I’ve entered a blue period…

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…with my nails, of course! I actually wanted a shimmery green polish for the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day, but the salon I went to (aka my work, which has a nail place where I can get gel manicures for cheap) didn’t have such a polish. They did have this oh-so purdy sky blue polish, however, and that shimmah sold me.

Speaking of my hands, I think I may have found a cream that is the whip to tame the mad beast that is my shitty hand eczema: THIS! I have the O’Keefe’s version and it works fine, but Target’s version is nicer and cheaper! Here’s hoping for no more flare-ups and crocodile skin.

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Thanks to the 31 greedy-ass, real-life Mr. Burnses aka the MLB commissioner and 30 owners of all 30 MLB teams, it looks like there won’t be any baseball for a while. All together now: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Greedy fucks with ugly mugs worthy of many bitchslaps, the whole lot of them.

Guess it’s gonna be another round of watching old baseball games (especially the ones where the Dodgers lose), the Baseball doc on PBS, that Simpsons Softball episode, and this gem that came from the 1994 lockout:

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Another thing to BOOOO: the Dollar Tree. Or should I say, the $1.25 Tree. It doesn’t have the same ring to it, but why must my Nordstrom raise its prices?! Look, I’ve bought many things there, and I can assure you that they’re all truly worth a dollar. And have you seen the books and DVDs they sell there?! They’re worth less than lint.

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One thing not worthy of boos: thrift stores! I did some thrift store shopping yesterday. Yours truly has dropped a pant size since going low-carb and I needed some new clothes. Not a lot, though–I’m still not at the size I want to be just yet. While at this thrift store, I remembered I also needed some sporty shoes, since I’ve been doing a lot more walking & hiking lately. I found a like-new pair of Saucony’s for $10, and they feel just as good as Nike shoes (of which I’ve owned plenty of).

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Mask mandates have been dropped pretty much everywhere in my state and while some can cheer for things “returning to normal” *snort*, I see allergy season right around the corner, and as an allergy sufferer who still cannot with strangers since I don’t know if they’ve been vaccinated or not, well.

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It’s one thing if makeup and skincare heads on social media hype up stuff like some overrated lip product to where it’s sold out in all Sephoras. But if they start to hype up First Aid Beauty’s Ultra Repair Cream or my new favorite cream for my hand eczema to where it’s all sold out for months everywhere, I. Will. RAISE. HELL!!!

Just A Couple Things…

Since baseball ain’t coming back for a long while (thank its tyrant commish who you better not speak ill of), I would like to propose a new sport to temporarily take its place: Nad-Kicking. It will involve anyone fed up with overprivileged, unvaccinated athletes kicking the nads of said overprivileged, unvaccinated athletes (see Novax Joke-ovic and Kyrie Irving) and those enabling them. There won’t be any points or playoff rounds or a fancy trophy in the end, but whichever athlete ends up changing their minds and gets their shots after a nad-kicking session gets eliminated from the tournament. Which is a good thing for them and their baby-makers. Since I proposed this idea, I call Commissioner’s spot! 

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Can this day please be normal? No godawful terrorist attack anywhere, or a disaster or death of a likable celebrity for today. Besides, it’s the born day of mah boo Irina…

*cleans up drool* …and she deserves a peaceful and oh so smoldering wicked hot as f–I mean, fun birthday today. 

Stupid Stupid Stupid

Probably the stupidest thing I’ve read today! And that’s saying a lot considering I first saw this on Reddit, where there’s always a lot of dumbass crap that gets posted.

Famous anti-vaxxer, flat-earther, savior to the anti-vaxxers, and nutjob extraordinaire Kyrie Irving gets brought back to play, with no mask being worn, in packed arenas where some if not many are going maskless, at a time when Covid cases are rising yet again in the NBA and the general public.

There may be vaccines against Covid (you know, that thing that Irving just cannot with), but there REALLY needs to be vaccines against stupidity, ignorance, and selfishness.

Come on, clown league NBA, backtrack this shit.

***Update 12/18: and sometimes the trash takes itself out LMAO