Late Night Quick Thoughts

I’d rather be honest than “Be Kind”. Let’s be real, the “Be Kind” crowd are just using that annoying AF phrase to mask their shitty behavior. Do something that gets under their skin, even if it’s minuscule, and they’ll want to skin you alive. (While I’m at it, the “Be Kind” phrase is right down there with “Live Laugh Love” or however the fuck it goes, and “Girl Boss” *gags* in my personal Hell. Which is also known as the Decor section at a Home Goods.)

And…You cannot call yourself a witch fighting against the patriarchy when you support a figure representing the worst of the patriarchy while denouncing the victim of a witch hunt that was started by said figure of the patriarchy.

(I say this because some so-called “feminist” subReddits really aren’t as feminist as I originally thought. But it’s Reddit so I shouldn’t be surprised.)

How To Butcher The Definition Of A Word

Thirty years ago, Harper’s Bazaar served us one of the most truly iconic covers in all of fashion magazine history. (Has it really been thirty years?!) Since then, they’ve become more bizarre over time, and proved it yet again by putting out this list of “icons” for their September issue. This was me after glancing at the pics:

mimi says

Bitch, please times a thousand. I may be an old and don’t bother to keep up with who’s supposedly “hot” among today’s Young Hollywood set, but shouldn’t a true icon be actually recognizable right off the bat, not making me pull a Mariah when I see their pic? And where are the damn names to those images that’s giving me 90s Spiegel Catalog but extra dreary so I can at least see who the hell is who?

By the way, here’s a short list of what/who’s more iconic than that entire list:

–any Steph Curry three-pointer

–Angelyne

–the McRib sandwich

–the hot pants on the one true mononymous Kylie

Bai Ling’s “Icons” bra (and the rest of her outfit there)

those shoes that should’ve struck W. Bush 

What Bazaar should have done was put Angelyne or a McRib (or Angelyne eating a McRib) on their “Icons” issue cover, and it would’ve made a million times more sense because at least I (and anyone else with good taste) would know who that is! Once again, Bazaar had one job, and they flopped.

What Case Of The Mondays?

OK, I had a Case of the Mondays today, and, yes, it’s possible on my days-off and when I do morning yoga.

I won an eBay auction yesterday and the seller, who lives near me, allows local pickup, but when I messaged them to arrange pickup, they did not reply. I still haven’t heard from them today and I’m getting suspicious. And because I’m smart (no), I already paid them. It must also be known that eBay’s customer service line is garbage.

While reading celeb gossip nonsense today, another legend left us because of that evil demon known as cancer. Meanwhile, a trash bitch keeps on fucking up and needs to be in a jail cell last month.

While waiting on a red light, I was behind a truck that had some racist AF bumper stickers and that oh-soooo edgy LGB (I’m not writing it out) message in *surprise* red, white, and blue. (Side note: anyone saying that shit is an ignorant, unfunny, spineless oxygen thief, full stop.)

It took almost an eternity to check out my two items when I was at Macy’s because someone was holding up the line with all the crap they bought, and there was only one cashier around. And I was starving. I couldn’t even savor my lunch because I was so pissed.  

Then I went to TJ Maxx after and tried on a pair of wide-legged jeans that, surprisingly, was the right inseam for my short ass. All the pants I want to wear are so damn long in length. Despite my ragey lunch, I found out I can fit into a size smaller than the one I currently wear.

And the Giants won another game today. My Monday is salvaged.

Rants & Raves 6/23

UPDATE 6/28/22: this was meant to have been published the night of June 23rd, but I wasn’t able to. I thought I’d post this on 6/24, and then it became the crappiest Friday I’ve lived through so far. So here’s the original post, five days after it was supposed to go live.

I didn’t watch the NBA Draft but I’m soooo here for the lewks of top draft pick Paolo Banchero and #17th draftee Tari Eason. Paolo is serving up a getup that Prince maybe would approve (dude needs more eyeliner, frilly ruffles in his shirt, and switch out the shoes for fuck-me boots), and Tari is giving me secret service protection from getting shot and pinched on St. Patrick’s Day realness.

Hero Parent Worship Season is over, but now we’ve entered the season of fireworks going off for no good reason at 2AM, preventable heat stroke cases skyrocketing up the ass (hydrate, bitches!), and stores oblivious to the ongoing woes of this godforsaken country audaciously marketing red, white, and blue nonsense up front whilst all the “love-is-love” rainbowed merchandise for this very Pride month is modestly displayed somewhere in the back. *cough*HomeGoods*cough*

An unhinged bitch keeps on being an unhinged bitch, a popular soccer player is off the hook after admitting rape, and both still aren’t (and likely won’t be) getting the same amount of vitriol and unflattering memes on them as social media’s reigning “public enemy #1”. Gee, I wonder why.

An underrated tragedy: abused women, who have harassed and denied the truth of another abused woman, who aren’t being believed when they share their own stories. Something something leopards ate their faces.

By the way, why on earth are they called Men’s Rights Activists? Those types tend to be pathetic-defining, empathy-exempt, missed abortions who need to touch grass last week aka incels, and actual real men wouldn’t be part of such a foul group. How about calling them Assholes’ Rights Activists instead? The ones who default to the dumbass notion that all “men” are perfect angels no matter what, and strong, independent women are more evil than Hitler. They’re an ARA! Don’t be one or support one, either.

Damn Fool alert: seeing a CA resident with a CA license plate with a bumper sticker saying how our governor sucks. Bruh, if you don’t like him, I’m sure there are other states that have your dream governor. Like Florida or Texas. (Types with that bumper sticker tend to lean on that side of the political spectrum, sadly.)

Never ever trust a gossip site that refers TikTokkers as “stars” *gags*, fosters comments from Q-nuts, and bans commenters who dare speak out against a site moderator’s fave celeb.

Also, never trust a frequent Reddit poster who says things (or makes low-effort memes) about their “wife” or “girlfriend”. It’s a Reddit poster; they’re likely 15, a try-hard virgin (a try-hard is far worse than a virgin, by the way), who can never leave the house outside of school and is too shy to speak to anyone while at school, thus can never get a girl.

And speaking of Reddit (I know), Internet Comment Of The Day! (And there’s more gold in that thread! The comments there are giving me vintage Dlisted vibes, and I am here for it.)

That Senior Feeling

One thing that tells me I’m a total old without saying so:

That and the way “Mackenzie” gets spelled these days.

I’ve been seeing versions of “Senior 2022” on cars and elsewhere since late last year, which, compared to right now, was a slightly more idyllic time, which goes to show you how totally shitty times are these days. Why does that message make me feel like a fossil? I graduated high school 20 years ago this month! Class of 2002, baby! The year that also saw Bennifer 1.0, Xtina getting dirrty in assless chaps, and, most importantly, me turning 18. And if there’s one thing that will cause a gray hair to sprout from my crotch, it’s knowing that this year’s high school seniors weren’t even twinkles in their dad’s eyes when I tossed my cap into the air. Sheeit, some of their parents were probably in my graduating class!

One thing I remembered from my graduating class was seeing the small group of students that didn’t sit with the rest of us because they weren’t eligible to graduate. They still were required to wear the cap and gown, but I can’t imagine how godawful they felt watching everyone else walk up to the podium to get their degree. I did take some joy finding out a few kids I hated were part of that held back group. Make fun of me for being a loner nerd, huh? Enjoy 12th grade all over again, F-grade bitches!

I did have a message to give to the graduating class of this year, but telling them to not get addicted to their phones and social media and focus on instead achieving their dreams is almost pointless. Some of them want to be social media “celebs” (WHY?!) and they’ll need those soul-suckers to achieve that, um, dream. But who am I to talk? I’m not addicted to my phone and I have no social media and I still have yet to achieve some of my dreams! Sigh.

A sAiNt’s Influence (And An Apology)

Instead of more actual male victims of domestic violence coming out with their own stories in the aftermath of the Heard-Depp one-sided pony show trial (because the trial was supposed to be about male domestic violence victims getting their justice, right?), THIS is one thing that comes from it: 

Screen Shot 2022-06-03 at 2.36.43 PM

‘The jury gave me my life back.’ ‘Truth never perishes.’ — Johnny Depp. I felt that! Congratulations to Johnny and his team on his defamation suit,” Rittenhouse tweeted

“Johnny Depp trial is just fueling me, you can fight back against the lies in the media, and you should!” Rittenhouse tweeted

This scab that walked scot-free from his vile actions being INFLUENCED by Depp and his “victory”. To all the supporters and stans of their precious Saint Depp, let that sink in. And bless that choad for thinking he’ll have a winning case, let alone a case. 

Oddly, I didn’t first discover this news on Reddit’s main News subReddit (which usually reports these things), but on a site for celeb gossip. Of course, you can Google Rottenhouse’s name and news articles on that will pop up, but that the rest of Reddit, which, just a month ago, was filled to the brim with trite AF “Johnny Good/Amber Turd EVIL” memes almost everywhere, hasn’t even brought it up is very telling. There’s plenty of articles and tweets calling out the recent gun massacres, but what about that gun-happy Rottenhouse being influenced by Depp? I sorted Reddit’s News page to “New” last night and earlier today, and as of 11:25PM PDT, there remains no mention of that. I wonder why. Meanwhile, that sub’s top-voted headline this year? You guessed it! Talk about a punk bitch move. Speaking of, let’s not forget all those dipshits who openly mocked Amber on their blogs/social media for those precious likes/views and attention during the trial, then 180 or go silent from their bullshit later like that Hasan who-dat. Trivial as it sounds, I’ve unsubscribed to some subReddits I once liked due to their stance on the trial and their obvious bot infestation pushing that played-out faux narrative. 

Continue reading “A sAiNt’s Influence (And An Apology)”

Oy, This Month

princess blingee

My princess of a blog turns three today. She can ditch her pampers and ride a trike now.

I usually like it when June rolls around, but that women’s reproductive rights may (will?) be stripped away in some states thanks to some ass-backwards, corrupt cuntbeasts in the Supreme Court, and misogyny may skyrocket no matter what the outcome of the Heard/Depp trial, all in this month…sheeit. Guess I better sharpen my axe.

(Side note: if you’re fed up or even bewildered with the excess pro-Depp content coming from that trial like I am, I got a couple of eyeopening goodies for ya.)

The Paradox

forced birthers gala

Modern-day ‘Murica, everyone!

Also, I find it laughable to see some “entertainment”/celeb gossip sites hyping the Mess Gala in an attempt to take us away from the possible Roe v. Wade overruling. OK, I get it–escapism and all that shit, but with today’s celebrity landscape?! Those sites be trying to push some “fashion” fantasy on us, but who are these tricks fooling? While normal women in states most likely to be affected by the abortion ban worry over their lives, here’s People.com gushing over some “influencer” and a “reality” show attention whore, both sans substance and natural beauty, and how they’re our fAsHiOn iCoNs of our time. (Don’t get me started on the last Gala, held during the height of Omicron late last year.) These days, you don’t need to sleep to experience a disturbing nightmare. It’s happening right now.

If you want it to end, though, get out and vote this year and, with Z-list attention whores, just don’t look.

Tweet from here

Finding A Balance

Me trying to find a “(Insert name of abusive male celebrity) Is An Awful Abuser” meme in an ocean of “Amber Heard Is An Awful Abuser” memes on a certain anti-woman Heard hellhole of a website…

*sighs* To the terminally-online, video-game addicted, permanent virgins (let’s be real here) known as incels: if you’re gonna live your deranged, misogynistic vengeance fantasies through the Depp-Heard trial and direct your vitriol on Amber to where you want her abused (and who would be the abuser in that case now?), how about mustering up the same outrage to Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, Mel Gibson, Sean Penn, Harvey Weinstein, or Mike Tyson? Why aren’t you wasted creampies doing cliched Spongebob memes on how abusive and shitty those guys are? Oh, wait, I just answered my own question. Guess abusive men memes don’t get as many oh-so valuable online karma points like the anti-Amber ones.