Yaaasss Amanda

I didn’t watch the inauguration ceremonies live today because this night owl woke up late, as I always do on my days-off from work. (Blasted east coast time!) In between catching up on the inauguration stories and celebrating the birfday of Dwight Schrute, I saw headlines on Amanda Gorman, who happens to be the youngest poet to perform at an inauguration. I read her poem in full. Then I watched her recital. And my wig was snatched in the end. I heard J-Lo performed after her, but she should’ve gone home after that and continued arguing with people on social media about how legit her face and skincare products are (*snorts*), because Amanda set the bar high with that poem and recital that Maya Angelou would have approved. 

Just reading the text is not enough. Watch the video instead. Miss Amanda has this poetry geek swooning!

It’s Only Fitting

It’s Inauguration Day here in the States. And I am very glad to see a transition from the vile rat fucks that infested the White House, to actual politicians who care about bettering the country. I never acknowledged Orange Hitler as that “P” word, but I do look forward to hearing the words “President Biden” and “Vice-President Harris” from the media for the next four years. The titles just fit. 

Also…

a haiku for orange hitler

Here, I’ll add mine: 

Lost the election

Racist got impeached twice, now

Lock his fat ass up!

(Note: I usually don’t body shame…unless if it involves someone odious as Chump. Then the gloves are off.)

Oh, and I see you TCM Channel and your slew of “Joe movies” you’ll be airing today. Well played. 

Screenshot_20210120-001617

 

 

Haha On Yous

I’ve found a new subReddit to take delight in!

Screen Shot 2021-01-08 at 7.19.28 PM

The vile, oxygen thieving terrorists ruined what should’ve been a sweet Hump Day this week by staging Fascistpalooza (that’s what I’m calling it) at the Capitol. But it seems like some wrongs are being righted as we speak thanks to Bye Bye Job! The Uplifting News and Made Me Smile subReddits need to drop their names and come up with new titles, because all the headlines at BBJ actually uplift me and make me smile! On the flip side, now I really gotta watch my ass on this blog. If there’s ever a tool that can detect the real identity behind a blogger name and if posting endless pics of Irina Shayk becomes a crime in the near future, I’m screwed!

Oh, and there’s also Orange Hitler getting permabanned on Blue Bird. While it’s, oh, four years too late and it had to take an attempted coup for them to finally ban his ass, there’s always imagining how pissed off Tiny Hands is right now. I think there’s an artist’s rendition of it somewhere…

(I know there’s one with Chump’s head photoshopped in the GIF, but I’d rather not post his unfortunate mug around here. Name-dropping him is enough for me.)

**UPDATE: 1/13/20: aaaaand I got another subReddit (that particularly focuses on the Fascistpalooza dipshits) to take joy in! Squeeeee!!

Wooooooot!

Yes, I still say “woot” like it’s the mid-2000s again. And I was about to let Mr. Sandman do his thing so I can dream of Irina but I made the oh-so wise decision to dick around on the internet for “just a few more minutes”. Then I saw this:

Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 2.09.56 AM

And, of course, the news is also the top Reddit headline at the moment.

Say it with me, everyone: Senate MINORITY Turtle Moscow Mitch. That’s got a ring to it! Also, fuck him for all eternity and I still hope he chokes on a Lego.

Most importantly: THANK YOU, GEORGIA!!! Thank you to all the peach state residents who voted and rallied for restoring democracy! And much thanks and props to Stacey Abrams, the true leader of Georgia!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it is official.

The news dropped right when I had to go to work so I know I’m the very last person on earth to celebrate this. Right now, all the congrats to Biden, to Harris, their families and friends, and to all who campaigned and voted for them. And special thanks to those who volunteered to work during this election (even the ones taking a little while counting the ballots).

PARTY!!


Lordy I Need A Blunt

After sifting through a deluge of doomer posts (mostly inaccurate takes) on Reddit today, then checking out Twitter for updates, I think it’s best to focus on the positives from Judgement Election Day 2020.

But I must say this first: that the most important race in this election was not decided quickly in a massive defeat for Orange Hitler and that it’s supposedly close last time I checked (I’m not checking it now; it’s too late for that nerve-wracking shit) shows that regardless of who ends up being the winner, this country got mad problems. Take your pick on what/who to blame, whether it’s voter disenfranchisement, inane selfishness, or being brainwashed by right-wing propaganda. Or all three and then some. The past few years, I considered myself to be a Californian over an American, but I had hopes that this election (and not just the race for president–or evil overlord, in Chump’s case) would change that. Pfft.

Also, for those who were pinning their hopes on Florida to go blue this time, The Simpsons knew that state the whole time…

My apologies to the Floridians who did their best to turn their state blue. (Hang in there; we’ll be needing you all for the long haul!) But I needed this laugh! And having old Simpsons episodes on TV while checking out election updates online (no way was I watching the news channels) helped curbed the anxiety for me.

Onto the positives (so far)…

Oregon rules! Now if they decriminalized all that 15 years ago when I was more experimental with, uh, things, I would’ve looked like a haggard old druggie ho now, and I’m in my mid-30s.

Arizona rules in more ways than one.

Delaware rules! (And if you want to escape that pesky paywall, I recommend archive.fo)

Yay AOC!

Yaaassss

I know I’m forgetting some stuff and I hope I get to add more to this list when I wake up. Right now, I need my blunt. Now if only California could decriminalize ‘shrooms, too.

I’m Not Nervous, I’m Not Nervous*

*And by that I mean my nerves are through the damn roof and it’s only 90 minutes into Judgement Day, I mean Election Day. I cannot be the only one who believes that this country will be a different place 24 hours from now, no matter the outcome. I have my hopes but the tension is there. And I loathe that what’s supposed to be a nonviolent civil moment in our nation has turned into some of us fearing a pending brutal post-election clash between those who value human rights and democracy, and scum of the earth aka hypocritical, racist, domestic terrorist rotten asswipes. (I call it like I see it.)

I have help, though. Got my weed on standby, unfinished seasons of The Simpsons, ANTM, and Spongebob Squarepants (judge away) I haven’t watched, and I can always look to tweets like the one below for some laffs.

old nazi stuff

tweet came from here

And for those who still haven’t voted yet (and received their ballot a month ago, I should add; those who received their ballot late get a pass), I’ll side-eye you for taking so long to make up your mind later. VOTE!

Ballot Fuckery!

The Good: I received my ballot for the upcoming election today. (Side note: I had a long-ass work day today, so seeing that my ballot arrived cheered up my tired ass. I didn’t expect it!) 

The Crappy: THIS SHIT. 

20201003_223718

No, I did not make a crappy circle on my ballot; I edited the pic in Preview. I am puzzled over why my state would include that deranged GOP pawn on the ballot. But I’m also puzzled that Gayfish is listed as a “Vice President” instead of “President” *snickers* like he supposedly wanted. Since I have a brain (sort of), a soul (also sort of), and a burning desire to kick out Chump, I did not vote for that thing. I don’t even know Roque Guerra. I don’t even care if he’s remotely related to heavenly demure enchantress Vida Guerra! If you’re not in the Blue, no vote for you! 

And if you think it was only my ballot that got tainted with Gayfish’s name, another CA resident saw the same damn thing. 

We Are All Nelson Muntz Today

*checks out the Reddit All feed at a time I usually avoid it*

*top three stories (as of Thursday 11:55 PM my time) are about Orange Hitler aka Chump (and his hooker wife) catching the Covid* (Or is it Covid catching a case of Chump? Eh, equals.)

*reads last paragraph of my previous post, thinks*

Well.

What else is there to say for now? (Besides I hope to Bowie and Prince that Biden and his wife didn’t catch it. Oh, and tots and pears and bleach.) Except…