Hump Day Update and Rants

What am I doing posting here when I should instead be working on converting my finished story into an eBook and marketing it to y’all? Yes, I need to reevaluate my priorities, but when you’ve been busy with your regular job the past week and all you want to do when you get home after a long work day is stick your feet in the feet massager (that you got for $5 at a thrift store, TYVM) while binge-watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer, why should I bother.

I’ll get the eBook project going, I swear.

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While shopping at a Home Goods yesterday, I saw a book called (IIRC) Luxury Gifts For Men. Curious over what those gifts were, I skimmed the book. Oddly, a kinky night with a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model isn’t listed, but there were some gifts they had that I would’ve loved. They featured a Bugatti, a private island, a stay at a French chalet, and I’m wondering who the hell made that book “gifts for men” only?! Sheeit, some women and non-binaries want those gifts, too! All the more reason to make some things gender-neutral.

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Much congrats to the Milwaukee Bucks for winning the NBA Finals! A part of me pined for a Game 7, and it almost looked like the series was going to get that after that second quarter. But I’m happy for the team, and for the city of Milwaukee. This year’s Finals was one I actually enjoyed, partially because it involved two unexpected teams in cities shamefully overlooked by the major sports media.

Dat big-ass crowd outside the Bucks arena, tho. Pandemic or not, I can’t do those things anymore. Because getting old.

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Finally, nothing says insecure choad than a grown-ass person addressing their “haters” on their social media over something trivial. It’s one thing if you do that when you’re a teen, but if you’re doing that shit in your mid-30s, just fucking stop. Adult for a change.

Justice For Brit-Brit!

Me after reading Britney’s statement against her indentured servitude to her pimp dad conservatorship

It was relieving to hear the actual Britney and not some PR person masking as her for once. But, wow. She spilled a lot. The backbreaking work schedule forced upon her, the lithium thing, the forced IUD?!?! How could you not get sad and angry over all this? Even if you’re not a fan of her music or think she’s overrated (I’ll spare the side-eyes for now), she is still a human being that doesn’t deserve that shit at all.

My sympathy and support to Brit-Brit is boundless, and I hope she finally gets her way and lives the life she wants. Is that hard to ask?

Also, I see you Timberfake and Lamar Odom’s plastic Sasquatch ex-wife trying to fish for some goodwill in all this with your faux support. STFU and continue to fade into obscurity.

Porn Bans Are Stupid, Part #3267

Porn hoarders on eBay’s Adults Only section all day today before eBay shuts down their Adults Only section forever tomorrow

Also, what the hell, eBay? Banning sales of smut won’t do any good. That they didn’t give a real good reason why (“interest of safety” my grown ass) shows that the move is sus, stupid, and, with their ban on “the nipple/areola of female breasts” when it comes to modeled clothing, ridiculously sexist. So I can no longer buy this tasteful product on eBay but I can still buy Nazi-themed shit?! GTFOH. The ban is very Tumblr-esque, and we all know how Tumblr turned out after they banned adult-themed sites. Aside from potential lost revenue, there’s a good chance smut sellers will get creative. They’ve been innocuously listing vibrators as “holistic massagers” for a while; they’ll probably get around selling dildos as, oh, I dunno, dog toys or something.

And now I’m picturing a dog fetching a 9-inch silicone mold of some porn dude to its human owner. Good boy!

Edit: yes, I changed the post title.

Just Call Me “Boss”, Dammit!

Burn this phrase alive from the modern-day lexicon: “lady boss”. Add “girl boss” and “woman boss” and even “lady pimp” to the heap, and, yes, I’m doing my best not to gag after writing those blasted terms. (I also had a nice pasta dinner hours ago, and I don’t want to retch that up.) For something that’s marketed as “empowering to women”, I die a little inside every time I see something with those damn words on it (hello, decor sections at Home Goods). How’s that for empowerment?! To me, it implies that only men can be bosses and when a woman holds the same position, her gender needs to be noted with her title. Those terms are awful, low-key sexist, and likely started (and admired) by leggings-wearing, wine-chugging Karens who post such idiocy on their Facebook daily after they change their baby Braelynnette’s diaper. Or maybe some out-of-touch old dude started it; either way, it’s all evil. It’s right down there with the equally-demotivating phrase “you (insert verb) like a girl”. You’re not gonna see shit like “man CEO” or “boy boss”, although the more I keep seeing those damn words, maybe those terms need to mentioned more. Come on, Etsy creators–make dat Boy Boss mug! 

If society really wants to push for equality in the workplace, for one, gender stereotypes need to be dropped. Men can be nurses and secretaries, and yet there will still be some whose sad mentalities are stuck in the 1950s who will always view those jobs as something only women do. Women can be bosses and CEOs and, yes, pimps (they’re out there), but you don’t have to add the word “lady” to her title. That’s inane and so 2016, and that year sucked ass. 

Yes, I got sand in my vag over this after seeing Comedy Central’s latest commercial on The Office reruns featuring women in charge. Love The Office, but that commercial was a choice. And, yes, I’m very aware that one of my queens–the late, great Jackie Collins–also wrote a book with those damn words as the title. Coincidentally, that book happens to be my least favorite of the Lucky Santangelo series I’ve read so far (sorry, Jackie). 

My Ears, My Precious Ears

Hell has a welcoming song and it’s that blasted 1-877-Kars-4-Kids “jingle”. Those who listen to KNBR 680AM and immediately switch to another station, mute the volume, or yells “shut the fuck up!” to someone who’s about to sing it whenever the commercial plays feel my pain. And if you have never heard of the commercial before, don’t ever. (Also, read this before you even think about donating your car to them.) I feel like every time that ad airs, a cat dies. If there’s one good thing about that aural abomination, it could be used for an interrogation. Put that thing on repeat and I bet it will make a bitch-ass criminal confess EVERYTHING!

Trash Vs. Trash

Welcome to UTF (Ultimate Twunt Fight), March 2021 edition! In one corner, we have a hypocritical meatsac sorry excuse of a human being who enjoys jacking off the smooth brains who worship Orange Hitler. In the other corner, we have some hoodrat (who also “raps”, I guess), who’s really trying to make us forget that she threw parties during a pandemic, admitted to drugging and robbing men during her stripper days, and also did this trashy ho shit (which is par for the course for her). All over a whack song I will never listen to because my time and ears are precious, and I’m also a demure lady.

Place your bets, people! Fair warning: no matter who you root for, you lose either way! Because while fascism-loving opportunists are one of the things ruining this country, ignorant, selfish assholes (and the ones who blindly celebrate them) who can’t do anything better than skank out every time are also to blame. 

Yeah, yeah, I know I adore some celebs who’ve been trashy at times. But compared to Crappi B, my faves are pure-as-snow saints. 

Also, the hell happened to Dlisted these days? 

Fuck Yo 2AM Hour (Again)

Me realizing that we (except for you guys in Hawaii and Arizona) will all be losing an hour of sleep in a couple hours and that it takes at least a day for me to adjust to the new hours BUT knowing I still have to wake up early for work tomorrow because I didn’t take Sunday off…

Daylight Savings Time in March usually doesn’t bother me, work-wise. But my temp job has me starting my shift early every day I work. So the time shift will be fun, except no it fucking won’t.

I swear, next year on Spring’s DST I will take that day off from work! Until then, I’m gonna propose a new law: federal holiday for all on Spring’s DST! Fuck all work that day! (“Way ahead of ya, honey”–you who work Monday-to-Friday jobs or don’t work at all) I cannot be the only one who wants to sleep in that day needs time to adjust to the new hours.

(Mis)Adventures In The Laundromat

****TRIFLING RANT ALERT!!!***

After the last two weeks, I just have one request. Actually, I have many requests, and one of them is: no more bullshit in the apartment laundromat, please!

Last Monday, the app I use to power the machines (our laundromat gets funded by PayRange as well as old-fashioned quarters) went down for over an hour. So I had to use coins, borrowed from my property manager whose office is next to the laundromat because I don’t have any quarters. My wait was longer than expected because I live with some lazy asses who like to leave their clothes in the washer long after the machine is finished. All five washers were “occupied” thanks to these lazy asses. Have some of these buffoons ever heard of a timer? It took one of them to gain a bit of energy to get out of their unit and move their clothes to the dryer, finally giving me a washer to use. Except I needed another washer. I usually use two washers (and dryers) whenever I do laundry. (I wash clothes and bedsheets/towels every week.) I complained to the property manager about the other “occupied” washers, and she ended up taking out clothes from one washer to help me out. (For the record, this happens when one tenant leaves their clothes in a machine for so long.) I can knock out doing my laundry in under a couple hours. That day, after the whole waiting and broken app ordeal, it took over four hours to get all my shit done. 

Then there was today, and, once again, I dealt with the lazy asses leaving their clothes in the machine long after they’ve been washed. And, because of that, all the washing machines were all taken. Again! That laundry app was working this time, but the waiting part still suuuuuuucks. (I also waited for two no-maskers in the laundromat to amscray outta there.) Yes, I’m that bitch who wants to get things done, completing laundry day right away included. I’d love to have a washer & dryer in my unit, and I’m sure seeing the PG&E bill from that will be as appealing as seeing Mom jeans being brought back in “style”. Plus, tiny studio and all. 

So, if the laundromat gods can hear me, I request that next week will be bullshit-free in the laundry! And the next week and the next week, and the next week…Or, better yet, laundromat gods, just give me a cool two million so I can move into my own little home (we’re talking Bay Area real estate here) and have my own washer and dryer and I don’t have to deal with lazy asses or no-mask fools around me. There, problem solved.