Summertime, Summertime

Summer actually started for us East Bay Area folks last week when we had temperatures that rivaled the inferno of Satan’s butthole. But it’s officially the First Day of Summer today, so how ’bout some R&B summer-themed songs to kick off the season!

If it wasn’t for my enduring love for those old-school Wild 94.9 mixes (which is where I first heard this song from), I would’ve never discovered this still-fresh track!

You remember dancing to this now 30-year-old song as a kid? Congrats–you’re an old like me!

Though “summer” is not mentioned anywhere in the song, this jam is forever part of my Summer 1996 soundtrack. What a time to be a pre-teen. Although I sometimes wish I was a young adult living it up then. (Ugh, those lucky Gen-Xers!)

Happy Kylie Day!

It’s the start of a holiday weekend, and, more importantly, the born day of THE One And Only Kylie Minogue! In honor of the red-blooded woman raining glitter onto the world for the 53rd year, here are a few of my most-played songs of hers to date! Some of them may not be her most popular hits, but they’re still gems that deserve a listen. 

The beat to this track is everything. Also, her self-titled album from 1994 is shamefully slept on and needs to be heard! 

Three words: those hot pants. 

I’ve always preferred the longer version of this jam over its shortened original. But, oooh, its video…and that dress she’s wearing at the 2:51 mark! 

 

The original has always been one of my Kylie bops, but it has gotten less airplay ever since I discovered this slick remix, remade by 90s DJ legend David Morales (who also turned a few Mariah songs from the 90s into dance hits). 

Happy International Women’s Day

I’m late on this, but I’m doing laundry and cleaning right now. Would’ve done all that yesterday, but my work schedule ran me ragged–for the second Sunday in a row, I should add. No more lazy Mondays for me again. Boooo.

Also, for those who like to know more about the history of IWD, check out this informative article on Vox.

Put It Down For Californ-i-a

Some gossip site mentioned that 25 years ago on this date, this legendary banger dropped. I checked the Wikis and they weren’t lying!

It’s been a while since I watched the video, and while my pre-teen self remembers seeing this when it premiered, there were a couple things I didn’t notice then. One: Smokey and George Clinton were in this! Two: LOL at “Oakland” being a barren wasteland 75 years from now. Don’t be surprised if that’s how it actually ends up if global warming continues to fuck up the climate. On the plus side, no more toll bridges and foggy weather. 

Obligatory 90s music videos and songs were the shit and they don’t make ’em like this anymore. You know you’ve made a rap classic when it also tops the music charts in Sweden, of all places. (Now I’m picturing well-hung hockey player Henrik Lundqvist dancing to this as a kid.) What I wish I didn’t know about this song was that Justin Timberdouche and Jimmy Failon performed it years later. WHY. If you want to truly wussify something, have both of them do a rendition of a song they should have never touched (unless if it’s a Justin Bieber song, because his songs are on the same level as them). Sheeit, Dre should’ve sued them for butchering that song, and the ghost of 2Pac should’ve haunted them after that performance, then dropped a diss track on their asses that would’ve also gone triple-platinum and swept the Grammys and further humiliating Timberdouche and Failon to where they’d be forced to retire from their careers. Oh, a bitch can dream. 

 

Kylie To The Rescue Again!

sparkly kylie

For those who need to be rescued from more sad news and unnecessary daily updates on useless oxygen thieves (hello Cardi Blah and the Kartrashians), here’s a feast for your eyes and ears courtesy of Kylie the Glittery Shiny Colorful Heavenly Rapturous Disco Glam Goddess!! If your computer or phone shuts down midway from playing the jam below, don’t fret. Modern technology, for all its bells and whistles, is not yet equipped to handle the immense fabulousness that typically radiates from a Kylie video.

Pic and video courtesy of The Guardian

Farewell, Eddie

old school eddie van halen

Pic courtesy of this post

Tuesday was already a day to forget (for me, anyway) and then I hear of this. Awful way to go, but at least he’s now free of pain and at peace.

Even if you weren’t into rock music, if you knew his name, you knew he was a legend.

*sighs* Two of my favorite songs for parties, road trips, and strip clubs. (Although I’ve yet to see a stripper master the latter song.)

And for those who have a fetish for guitar solos, this will make you climax on the spot.

RIP and thanks for all the rad music, Eddie.

And you know he’s gonna enter the pearly gates of heaven like this.

guitar slide

Weekend Jams

When my distressed soul needs to be uplifted, these are some of the songs I turn to…

This is not just a vogue-able, early 90s club classic. The lyrics can speak to what’s happening today: “…Follow me/Why don’t you follow me/To a place/Where we can be free/Come with me/Over there/Let’s put an end to racial hatred/And there’s love to share/Can you feel it/It’s in the air/Know its time for changes/Time for us to care…” Another coincidence: this jam dropped in 1992, which was also a tumultuous year, socially and politically. (Though I’d rather take living in ’92 than this year for many reasons.) 

I’m a sucker for strong vocals paired with a melody that takes me to dance paradise. I’m aware of the original version, but this was the first version I heard and it remains my favorite. The lyrics are equally inspiring. You have to be pulse-less if you can’t feel a thing when Martha heavenly belts, Nobody’s gonna take my pride, I won’t stop, I will not–be deniiiiiiied!” 

Who knew that Queen Aretha can also cut a dance track? It’s in the same vein as “Carry On”, with fierce vocals, stirring lyrics, and a fabulous dance beat, although I’m not sure which song came first. Ah, they’re both the tits. And this video will send you to flat-top heaven. 

Monday Jams

Nothing soothes my overworked ass (seriously, I had a busy AF past four days) than chilling with some mid-90s R&B jams to start my “weekend”. Some of the songs on my playlist right now…

Watching that “Bad Boys” movie started the craving for mid-90s R&B. (If you’re asking why was I watching that in the first place, I was in it simply for underrated 90s elegant rose petal Lisa Boyle, duh!) I was eleven years old when I first heard that song, and now I’m wondering where the fuck has the time gone and can we go back to the mid-90s when movie soundtracks, among other things, slapped?

The version of this song, the black pride in this video, and Janet’s look here is EVERYTHING.

I’d say I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t know who this girl group is. But if you proclaim to be a 90s R&B savant and you don’t know your SaDeuce, shame on you!! Give ’em a listen; they got some other bops besides this song.

Also, am I the only one who gets a kick out of seeing young women quickly break into song and dance when they see their man flirt with another chick?

I thought this song was the shizz back in ’95. Now? File this song under “Jams With A Slammin’ Beat But Oof Those Lyrics”. I didn’t know what they were singing about then, and now I don’t know why they sang about that in the first place! No wonder they were one-hit wonders! If their man had a side ho even just once, why be proud of taking his stupid cheating ass back?!?! Not even Danuel (I cannot stand the spelling of that name!) House’s soon-to-be ex-wife would stand for that.