Serve Face, Spongebob Style!

Leave it to Wet-N-Wild Beauty (makers of my favorite contour palette) to take me away from the dreary news of today and deliver a palette cleanser of a collab that sings to the Bikini Bottom resident in me: Spongebob Squarepants-themed makeup! Yes, something like this has been done before, but maybe it’s fitting that a brand called “Wet-N-Wild” nail the collab. ‘Cause, you know, “wet” being the environment Spongebob lives in, and “wild” being Spongebob and his boating skills. (I know–I’m putting too much into this.) Finally, those Spongebob-themed Makeup Erasers have met their match! And I never knew I wanted a Spongebob glow-up and Squidward’s resting bitch face blending my makeup until now.

But wait! Where is the Coral Blue #2 semi gloss lipstick?! (Why are there no lippies here, by the way?) And a blush called Sandy Cheeks? Missed opportunities there, Wet-N-Wild.

Put This On My Face

elf X chipotle

My work day ended abruptly today (thanks to a flat tire that rendered me useless for deliveries), so leave it to this work of art I found on the Reddits to cheer me up. Who knew I’d be attracted to a makeup collab involving Chipotle?! What’s next, a Colourpop collab with Wendy’s? NYX and KFC? Also, I’m getting hungry. Also also, judge away but the Burrito Bowl color story of that eyeshadow palette is calling me. Now, you can look glam by putting Hot Salsa and Fajitas on your eyes!

Yes, I shall buy. No, I’m not doing so just to get that free chips and guac voucher.

I’d Still Wear It

Because my mush mind is a permanent resident in the gutter, certain thoughts ran through my head when I came across this one eyeshadow from Huda Beauty’s soon-to-be-released “Naughty Nude” palette. 

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I don’t know if “Slippery” is the right word to describe the shade of a prolapsed clacker. (I watched too much porn in the past so I should know.) “Rode Too Hard” would have been more fitting, but I think Miss Huda Kattan is saving that name if she ever works on a “Sucio AF Nude” palette. One Redditor, who has a more innocent mind than me, saw “pomegranate seeds”. Meanwhile, that sound you may have heard was a bunch of yacht girls/boys and hookers shuddering as they try to remember the number of the nearest free clinic after seeing those reddish clusters. Force of habit, I guess. I’m also wondering what the hell its texture feels like. I adore Huda’s palettes (they’re the bomb and I have a few) but I’m hoping that shade doesn’t feel like a shitty case of shingles. 

All that said…*adds palette to Xmas wish list*

My Kind of Makeup Review

I recently bought a tube of Maybelline’s Super Stay Matte Ink because I heard it was near transfer-proof for mask-wearing. I tried it and, to my surprise, they weren’t lying! But after reading this Ulta review, I found out the lippie also happens to be blowjob-proof!

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That the review is also the “Most Helpful” out of the product’s near-5000 reviews shows that “Ilikequeso” speaks the truth! Once this Covid thing blows over (I refuse to get my freak on with others during this time ’cause you never know who may be lying), I hope to put that experiment to the test! (So, likely in 2022 then. *sad face*)

Happy Monday Tuesday

Heavy smoke is still in the air at my place and social media “influencers” have not gone extinct yet, but leave it to these Spongebob-themed Makeup Erasers (yes it’s for real) to cheer my ass up!

spongebob_MEs

I never used a Makeup Eraser before, and these look too good to pop my ME cherry. This all belongs in a museum! And somewhere, that money slut Mr. Krabs is sobbing tears of regret, wishing he came up with this idea first.

Pic came from here