Deep Dives Are Hot

For those who have this weekend off, I don’t like you if you’re bored and *insert your vice(s) here* is getting old hat, do what I did last night when I should’ve been coming up with plotlines for my current literary-work-in-progress: read celebrity-influenced deep dives!

A few good reads:

Vanity Fair‘s “When Liz Met Dick”. Still one of my favorite VF articles evah!

Not really a deep dive, but this 1994 piece on Chloe Sevigny from the New Yorker still deserves your undivided attention. No spoilers but she doesn’t like your faves.

Further proof that every psycho’s favorite pirate is a complete abusive asshole. Side note: anyone who’s still “both-sides”-ing that case, even after more receipts proving JD wrong has been released (just read that sub where that link came from), is just foolishly covering up their ignorance and misogyny.

Don’t Mess With Jess: A Two-Part Drama-And-Delusion-Filled Miniseries! Lordt, that story really took me down the rabbit hole!

Finally, for those who loathe those talent-exempt Hobbits as much as I do.

Bonus link to a list of more links to some interesting HoWood articles (which also show that there was a time when celeb profiles were intriguing and not word salad-ridden and PR fluff-filled like the ones you see today)

So much tea, honey!

Represent The Yay Area

In honor of the Warriors reclaiming their crown again, this weekend’s playlist is all about the Bay Area’s finest rappers of the 1990s! (What, you really think my forever-nostalgic ass was gonna post some recent shit?!)

True story: some creative kid back in my 6th grade music class played that beat on the piano. All I could do was just whistle it, albeit crappily.

Ooohhh, this forever fresh track. The extended version is also gold.

And remember, people, don’t buy an $85,000 car before you buy a house. (Although the joke’s on E-40: I can’t afford either!)

Bad Girl Weekend (The Sequel!)

Note: this got accidentally posted earlier today when I thought I had this reset from “scheduled to post” to “draft” (I had to edit more stuff). WordPress’ fault! 

After witnessing patriarchal fuckery once again being upheld in the past few days (and knowing it’s gonna happen again later this month…and likely later this year), fuck being good and nice to those who want us women reduced to chattel. The theme for this weekend’s music is, once again, all about bold, bad women, made by bold, bad (in a good way) women!

Ah, Queen Eartha. I’m sure she made puritans back in her day clutch their pearls with this song.

Ooooh, the lyrics to this song. Sing it with me: “I’m so sorry if I’m alienating some of you/Your whole fucking culture alienates me…”

The “Tank Girl” soundtrack introduced me to L7, and they’ve since earned their place as one of my favorite girl bands.

“Bad girl of the year, 96 Pam Grier”–aww yiss, Foxy. I sometimes think this video influenced the 1996 movie Set It Off (a great bad girl movie, by the way!) You know the concept of tough women robbing a bank wouldn’t fly today. Total probably would’ve been told by higher-ups that they should let men rob the banks while they sing in thong bikinis and a pound of makeup and hair extensions.

Not only is this video so damn stylish, but if you know the message behind this song, it makes it even more badass.

This underground mid-90s dance track may the least known out of all the songs in this post. Nonetheless, I’m always down for 90s dance with a title like that. I found this on one of the many 90s House Music compilations I own, and while I liked the original version, this remix sounds bitchier. Love.

Happy Kylie Weekend!

For this holiday weekend, let us all do the locomotion under raining glitter in honor of the Impossible Princess who’s had us spinning around with fever over the past 30+ years, today’s birthday queen Kylie Minogue!!!!! We should be so lucky to have this modern-day Aphrodite in our timeline, for her music that we can’t get out of our heads, showgirl style, and golden personality has us all wanting more more more.

Now get outta my way ’cause I wanna hit the dancefloor with these tunes.

My Kind Of Product Description!

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I’ve been on vacay the past few days, and despite returning home (too soon, I should add) my brain seem to still be in vacation mode because it wants me to sunbathe and forget about posting a thing. Too bad, brain–I got a new entry for the Travel Slut Diaries, and while I work on that, enjoy this product description I saw on the back of Ouai’s Super Dry Shampoo that I saw at a Sephora in the city I vacationed at! I wouldn’t be able to shake that can like I got raging PMS, though. It’s hard to shake something when you’re feeling sluggish and horny with your mouth full of cheese. Thanks to that label, though, I now know how to say that line in French!

Happy International Jazz Day!

In honor of this day, here are some more of my favorite jazz tunes!

If you aren’t like Billie when Lester plays his sax at the 1:28 mark, something is wrong with you.

Also worth your time is Ken Burns’ Jazz documentary. Most of the episodes happen to be on YouTube (for now), but the juicy parts (IMO) are in the missing segments. It’s all on the PBS app, though, so if you’re a jazz fan but aren’t yet supporting your local PBS station, do so right away and go watch that doc!

A Weekend To Mahself

My line of work usually has me working on weekends, but since I’m off on Saturdays at the spa I work at, which will also be closed this Easter Sunday, I get to have the one thing those Monday-to-Friday work slaves have been enjoying for years: a weekend off!! It’s an extended weekend for me, as I usually start my work week on Tuesday, so you know I’ll be making the most of this precious time off.

In honor of this no-work weekend, here are some of my favorite weekend-themed songs (with a dance twist)!

And, of course, this classic of all classics!

And On Saturday I Bake

What’s a chick to do on her day-off and she doesn’t want to go anywhere because she’s lazy to drive and there’s inclement weather outside? (We actually got a little rain today here in the East Bay.) Hit the kitchen, honey! I made a favorite of mines again: low-carb chicken cordon bleu casserole. I felt for something creamy and meaty, and, yes, that’s what she said.

Then I wanted to make bagels. I had all the ingredients for it, according to this recipe. And then I discovered my mozzarella cheese had spoiled. Both the shredded stuff and the block it came from! I bought that not too long ago! Utter crap. I’m glad I live a short walk from a Target, but that’s where I bought the mozzarella cheese that spoiled on me. When I got to their cheese section, I decided on if I really wanted to buy the same brand of mozzarella that turned on me too soon, or go for another brand that I never tried before. And then I found out that some specialty cheeses were going for half off, including a one-pound mozzarella cheese log. I ended up buying the cheese log, along with some of the other fancy cheeses on sale.

Little did I know that I would end up making a mistake in buying that cheese log.

Look, I’ve been making low-carb/keto foods for two months. I’m not a newbie, not yet a veteran when it comes to low-carb cooking and baking. But how the hell should I know that it’s better to use hard cheese to get shreds for a recipe as opposed to using soft cheese? (OK, it may be more of a rule for all types of cooking, but I’ve only been shredding cheese from blocks recently. I used to be a sucker for the pre-made bagged shreds, until I found out that some of them contain potato starch, which is oh-so not low-carb friendly.) I felt like a dog with a gimp hind leg trying to lift my leg to take a piss when taking the soft mozzarella cheese to the grater. Shit wasn’t working, so I ended up pulling apart the cheese for my shreds. I was also using more cheese than I should to get to amount I need.

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Not surprisingly, the end result could’ve been better in the appearance department. I feel like the use of the soft cheese is why a couple of them aren’t as bagel-shaped as they should be. Fine to use the soft cheese when making a pizza, not so much for baking. But! They tasted lovely. I added a 1/2 teaspoon of onion powder to the mix, and the smells that filled my studio when these babies were baking was the bomb. So while these bagels won’t even qualify for the Miss Low-Carb Bagel Beauty Pageant, they’re a winner in my stomach.

Get Drunk On Kylie

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This may be a shocker, but I’m not a big wine person. That said, leave it to my goddess to tempt me to become one (as long as the nectar is super low/no-carb). And I like how she called it “Kylie Wines” and marketing it to us Kylie heads in the States. The name may confuse the tabloid-reading airheads here, but who cares. Now if only Miss Minogue herself can come back to the States (particularly the Bay Area) for a long-overdue tour!

Getting Gifts Rule

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I may have gifted myself just a tad bit for the holidays (and there was more that I bought for yours needy since then), but there’s still nothing sweeter than getting gifts from others. Sure, all that would barely fill 1/9th of Santa’s gift sack, but who cares when a long-time friend of yours gifted you a C-note? And that Target gift card, given by another friend, is worth $25, I should add. Now I can buy more presents that would overflow Santa’s gift sack. (Heh-heh-heh, sack.) Merry Christmas, everyone!