Finally, I Unwind

This is the only news you need to know today, as it involves me: I got a week off from work. It’s actually nine days I have off, since I start my work week on Thursdays. But this break is looooooong overdue! How? I haven’t taken a decent break off from work since I started the temp job a year ago. I may have taken a day or two off from it, but nothing like this break that starts today. Just a year ago, I was working long hours for 4-5 days a week. Now, yours slutty gets a spring break! 

Well, without the big party crowds and tit-flashing to strangers. And what’s the first thing I’ll be doing on my spring break? Going to the dentist. For reals–I got an appointment in less than 12 hours. 

Also, since I’m fully vaccinated and I got some extra change in my pocket (thank you, stimulus check), I get to be a travel slut in real time again! I’m not going far–just a little drive down to Santa Cruz in a couple of days. Don’t worry, I got my mask, I’ll be keeping my distance from others, and I’ll only be ordering food to-go. (As long as bitch-ass Covid and bitch-ass Covid-deniers still exist, I’ll still be leery over eating indoors.) I welcome back the grind of packing for a trip! 

Serve Face, Spongebob Style!

Leave it to Wet-N-Wild Beauty (makers of my favorite contour palette) to take me away from the dreary news of today and deliver a palette cleanser of a collab that sings to the Bikini Bottom resident in me: Spongebob Squarepants-themed makeup! Yes, something like this has been done before, but maybe it’s fitting that a brand called “Wet-N-Wild” nail the collab. ‘Cause, you know, “wet” being the environment Spongebob lives in, and “wild” being Spongebob and his boating skills. (I know–I’m putting too much into this.) Finally, those Spongebob-themed Makeup Erasers have met their match! And I never knew I wanted a Spongebob glow-up and Squidward’s resting bitch face blending my makeup until now.

But wait! Where is the Coral Blue #2 semi gloss lipstick?! (Why are there no lippies here, by the way?) And a blush called Sandy Cheeks? Missed opportunities there, Wet-N-Wild.

And On Tuesday I Say…

…as of 2:15PM my time, I’M FULLY VACCINATED!!

Those two weeks of waiting for the Covid vaccine to fully kick in got me kind of anxious, though. Like, worrying if the wind would blow a new strain of The Rona onto me on the off-chance I had my mask off while taking a walk outside, thus ruining me and the vaccine’s efficiency. (For the record, I take the mask off when there’s no one nearby.) But now that I’m fully protected (or so the CDC says), I am so gonna live it up like a validation-starved influencer and get my free donut at Krispy Kreme! (What, did you expect me to go party in crowds again?) Fuck yeah, living! 

My Cousin Rules

Thirty years ago this month, my six-year-old self almost met the Grim Reaper by accidentally falling into the deep end of a pool while on a family vacation in the Philippines. I didn’t know how to swim then. And thanks to that near-death moment, which rendered me a total wuss-ass around deep ends of pools and other bodies of water, I still don’t know how to swim. (I’ll take swim classes one day, I swear.) But you can thank my cousin Sunny for saving me. I guess she saved me right away because I do remember not having to be hospitalized or experiencing anything serious after. Sunny still lives in the Philippines, and if she ever reads this post, I just want to say once again…

 

 

No Sick

At least that’s how I feel right now after getting my first dose of the Covid vaccine yesterday! But holy cheetos, my upper arm is SORE as a mofo.

Anyhoo, in honor of getting my first jab, here’s a comic that illustrates how the vaccine works (that will also make a Star Wars whore gush with glee).

Comic courtesy of this site, via this Reddit post, which explains the comic better than I ever could. 

Even More Good News

My regular job is in massage therapy. I’ve been a state-certified MT for almost ten years (it will be ten years this summer), although I don’t know if last year counts towards experience. Then, I only worked for two-and-a-half months rubbing bodies (professionally, now!) before bitch-ass Covid shut down my industry and drove me to take up a temp job. I thought that since I did essential work, my kind would be one of the first to get the Covid vaccine. Then guidelines changed and us essential workers gotta wait (while sulking and bitching about it–oh, wait, that’s just me). Then, because I have the luck of being the last to know important things, I found out today, er, yesterday from my state massage board that they were able to have MTs be seen as healthcare providers (we’re seen as “Alternative Medical Practitioners”), thus allowing us AMPs to get the vaccine right now! Now I realize the importance of opening emails from the CAMTC. In my defense, they’re boring most of the time. 

Booking an appointment was tough at first, but, unexpectedly, my regular health care provider came through and hooked me up for an appointment next week. My mood right now: 

This will be the first time ever that I look forward to getting jabbed! 

 

And It’s Finally Complete

Guess who finally finished editing her first novel?

Since I’m fussy like dat, I do need to reread the whole thing for the umpteenth time to make sure it all looks good. But the editing part is done. Months and months of editing and I’m finally finished and I can now work on getting it formatted into an eBook (I plan on self-publishing this) and also start working on my next story. Yaasss. 

It’s Only Fitting

It’s Inauguration Day here in the States. And I am very glad to see a transition from the vile rat fucks that infested the White House, to actual politicians who care about bettering the country. I never acknowledged Orange Hitler as that “P” word, but I do look forward to hearing the words “President Biden” and “Vice-President Harris” from the media for the next four years. The titles just fit. 

Also…

a haiku for orange hitler

Here, I’ll add mine: 

Lost the election

Racist got impeached twice, now

Lock his fat ass up!

(Note: I usually don’t body shame…unless if it involves someone odious as Chump. Then the gloves are off.)

Oh, and I see you TCM Channel and your slew of “Joe movies” you’ll be airing today. Well played. 

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