Hump Day Eye Balm

Today at work, I witnessed this elderly client with blue legs be grouchy to a coworker of mine, only for her to injure herself with her walker (don’t ask how) to where she ends up yelling throughout the spa. The sight was as pretty as some cheapo tipping me a dollar for a $130 massage.

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So when I saw this pic of a new-and-improved Frankie Grande Ryan Gosling as Ken in the upcoming Barbie movie on some gossip subReddit, three things. 1) There’s a Barbie movie being made?! 2) You gotta admire Gosling for taking a role where he plays a guy without any genitals. And 3) After what happened at work today and the shit I witnessed the past half-month, who knew that one pic would serve as refreshing, bronzer-laden eye balm?

Pic came from here

Hump Day Poetry

I’ve been busy with stuff both fun (shopping Sephora’s semi-annual sale, getting big money tips from work) and unfun (working long days, tax crap, PMS) that it took me till today to remember that April is also National Poetry Month. Speaking of PMS, I tried finding poems to help soothe the savage beast in me. But I guess the PMS is hitting hard this time around because most of the so-called “rude” and “naughty” poems I saw were as lame as a visible zipper on the back of an otherwise pretty dress. (I hate seeing that shit on clothes!) I read this poem about a “bad girl”, which starts off with her knowing she’s a baddie but then wants to be “helped” from her bad self in the end. Puh-fucking-lease. (Also, who’s the guy who wrote that?!) Real bad girls never ask to be rescued from their badness, honey. Well, guess I got another poem to write up.

In the meantime, enjoy these poetic picks of mine!

Side note: I’ve long admired the work of Sharon Olds since I picked up “Strike Sparks” back in college.

Mmmm, prurience from the Renaissance!

And, because I need my Dorothy Parker fix…

New Month, New Nails (Again!)

 

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Thanks to a rare opening in the nails department at my new spa job, I treated myself to another Gel Mani-Pedi today. Before working at my new job, I rarely got mani-pedis. (Because I did mah nails mahself.) Now I’ve gotten two in a month. You don’t need to say it–I’m getting spoiled. That groundhog may have predicted six more weeks of tit-freezing winter, but that won’t stop me from flaunting these Valentine’s Day-ready nails out to the world. I may risk frostbite (it actually has been annoyingly cold here lately), but at least my nails will stay hooked up. 

Hump Day Raves

Some crappy stuff may have happened recently, but so did some cool stuff. 

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Getting a new mani/pedi! It’s been ages since mah nails got fully pampered, and when I had someone else cut my toenails. The new spa I work at also offers nail services, and us workers get a sweet employee deal for manicures and pedicures. I had some free time after my shift, a nail tech had an opening in her schedule, and the chipped paint on my nails needed to go. I opted for gel polish so my shizz would stay on longer, and while the process took a little longer than expected, the finish was worth the time! 

I forgot the name of the polish used, though. It was from OPI and I’m guessing it could be this pretty thing. 

Free luxe makeup!! Two weeks ago, I finally received my order for Pat McGrath Labs (that I ordered back in early December), and, since I have all the luck in the world, my Celestial Divinity palette had a broken powder in it (it was that lovely green one at the bottom corner), and the rest of the powders got affected. I emailed PMG’s customer service, and they ended up offering me a free Celestial Divinity palette. A freebie! That baby is worth $78 (and is currently sold out), and the messed-up palette is actually still usable. Now I have two of them! *sniffles in joy* 

I’m a few days late in this, but I must give a shout-out to MJ Rodriguez for being the first transgendered actress to win a Golden Globe. Viva Blanca Evangelista! Now can Pose be brought back for just a couple more seasons, please? 

A Little Update

I scored some new cool things since my last post here, and I’d say more about it but I still have a phone to configure *hint*, my new story that I must tend to, and I also have to wake up early tomorrow. Boooooo on the last one, as I’m a total night owl, but it goes in hand with one of those new things.  There will be a post on all dat soon, but until then, enjoy this video of arguably the best mopper on the planet: the FIBA Mop Guy! As recently seen in Shaqtin A Fool!

Maybe that’s the trick to getting some joy in cleaning floors: wearing short ass shorts that Daisy Duke and go-go dancers would approve.

A Rich December

Dame Joan Collins on Vanity Fair, December 1984, photographed by Herb Ritts. Gee, I wonder what that word could be. Fun fact: just a year ago, she stripped out of her high-end furs and couture outfits for Playboy at 50 years old (!). 

I have this issue (of course), and if you want to know one definition of blasphemy, there is not a single picture of Joan inside save for the cover credit. VF’s Hall of Fame that year featured future international disgrace Orange Hitler, but they couldn’t publish more glamma shots of Alexis going on and on?! Boooooo! 

And I Say Hot Damn

That sound you heard was the coaster under me breaking apart due to a flash flood that occurred in my basement after I posted that picture of Japanese-based rocker Atsushi Sakurai above. (If you don’t know him you can read more about him here.) It was expected, though. Google Photos reminded me that I saved that smoldering headshot to my phone a year ago. How my phone did not malfunction when it recognized that portrait of hotness is beyond me. How my panties managed to stay intact instead of dissolving is a mystery. What is not a mystery, however, is how damn foine dat man is. Did I mention that he also used to toy with gender norms back in the day? Oh, be still my loins!