Mood Right Now

7440e1a4-7cad-49c6-b7c9-7c75899cd172

My phone broke on me yesterday and I had to make an emergency phone buy, since I need a phone to work. The damage to my “old” phone (it’s only nine months old) is repairable but it will cost me. (It accidentally fell while I was jogging and now the touchscreen doesn’t work. Moral of the story: don’t exercise.) The scramble to fix my phone myself (which didn’t work), getting a new temp phone, and configuring the new phone cost me precious writing/editing time on my day off. 

I also worked today so I was pretty much Santa doing grocery deliveries. Ho Ho Ho. While driving, I passed by a crowd checking out Xmas displays in a neighborhood, and, hoo, the no-mask wearing fools I saw roaming in that crowd. I saw one bungwipe wear his mask like a chinstrap while coughing up his lungs before going into that crowd. Jesus’ tear ducts are officially broken from all the weeping he’s done over some people’s blatant stupidity and selfishness.

Also, a website that used to be a favorite of mine (not Reddit) has lost its snarky touch and keeps giving mentions to bores and no-talent assholes who don’t deserve any more attention. And Aunt Flo’s flight to my airport arrived early. 

Bah Humfuckbug. 

I’m gonna open my presents early and fatten my butt with these to cheer me up. 

Also, I Love Turkeys For Their Breasts

What can I say? I’m a breast chick.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I actually have to work today, but I get double pay and it will only be a short shift so it’s not all bad. I also cooked my meals in advance and, if I don’t pass out from noshing on too much turkey and guzzling Trader Joe’s Cocoa Cream after work, I’ll share my spread and the shit I’m thankful for this year with y’all later. Until then, enjoy this Turkey Day clip from of one of my favorite sitcoms evah!

Just Gimme The Fireworks*

It’s the Fourth of July weekend. Since I’m not wrapped in the hot dog-scented straight jacket called blind patriotism (that’s also made in China but marketed as “Made In The USA”), I have to ask: after all that has happened in this country since the start of that darn year that is 2020, is there anything about the US worth celebrating these days?!

I used to be one of those people who had no problem donning attire that had the stars & stripes, and not just because this Fil-Am chick wanted to show others that an American girl is not just some white blue-eyed blonde. (By the way, all that bullshit over white blondes constantly being hyped as the “all-American dream girl” shall always be countered by a quote from that wacko supermodel Janice Dickinson: “blonde? Blue-eyed? That’s not American, you idiots. It’s Scandinavian.”) I wore all that patriotic shit because there was a time when I appreciated being an American, despite the faults the country had then.

That was ten years ago, though. That blue USA hat of mine, and all my other clothes displaying the red-white-and-blue, has been collecting dust in its storage since late 2016. Unless we vote out the bullshit this November and beyond, all those clothes will continue to stay there. (Friendly reminder to VOTE BLUE, PEOPLE!!) Sheeit, you won’t even catch me eating a cookie with red, white, and blue sprinkles these days. Simply put, it’s just another work weekend for me the next two days. Come at me, blind patriots.

Until there is a time when it will be cool to genuinely exclaim “America–fuck yeah!” again, I’ll just stick with enjoying my fivesome fantasy involving American-born hotties Jason Momoa, Michael B. Jordan, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Adam Driver as my way of celebrating the Fourth of July. That and the soul food and fireworks.*

*But don’t fire them off at 3 in the fucking morning, goddammit. I work early shifts this weekend and I need to sleep early!

Merry Christmas!

(OMG, I didn’t realize he was tuggin’ it in that GIF until now.)

I plan on writing my latest story all day today (and watching NBA games and eating fatty foods…so just another day-off for me), so here’s your Song Of The Day. It’s one of the few Xmas songs I enjoy, it’s sung by the queen of Xmas songs, and I’m also a sucker for 90s dance melodies.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!