Because I Love Myself The Most

My Valentine’s Day treats to myself this year:

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Homemade low-carb treats! The sweet thing on the left is a Chocolate Almond Butter Keto Fat Bomb that’s actually pretty easy to make. (As long as you can find coconut butter. Not oil–butter. Vitamin Shoppe is your friend with that.) I added some chopped pecans for some crunch. To the right is a muffin I made from this keto cinnamon sugar donut recipe. Why didn’t I turn that into a donut? I could only make six donuts in my pan, and I had leftover mix. Instead of me running back to Target to get another donut pan, I put the rest in a heart-shaped muffin tin, which I also used to make the fat bomb. As I said last year, the way to my heart is through my stomach. (And a naturally-pretty brunette with a sweet smile, but I take what I can get.)

If you’re wondering, the powdered “sugar” is actually monkfruit sweetener in powdered form. Good shizz.

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Taking a hike around Lime Ridge Open Space! It’s been a while since I hiked around this lovely park. It was windy today, but good thing I had a hat and sweater with me. The hilly parts of the park have some slopes that will work out your buns and thighs, but I like the challenge. Plus, the views from the top are superb!

Re-watching old episodes of Married With Children! I don’t know how many times I watched Season 8 (it’s one of their best seasons), and I don’t care because that’s the season that has the show’s only Valentine’s Day-themed episode! That fight scene for that lone card still has me in stitches.

Happy MLK Day

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day today, stand up for voting rights for all, give back to your community, and, if you need a laugh, enjoy this vintage funny bit from Chris Rock (sporting one of the most solid flat-tops I’ve seen) who rants on Arizona’s choice back in the early 90s to not celebrate the national holiday. Also, TIL there was a time when Arizona once chose to be racist fucknuts by voting to not celebrate MLK Day (and lose hosting the Super Bowl).

And LOLOL at Rock’s take on Columbus Day!

Listening To… (12/31)

…what New Year’s celebrants in the UK were jamming to 25 years ago. Get out yer pacifiers, glow sticks, and platform shoes, for it’s a mid-90s NYE party! This mix is a BIG one; it’s over 5 hours! (And you also get to “explore” the roads of So-Cal. I often traveled some of the roads shown in the vid when I use to frequent So-Cal. Memories!)

Party safely, everyone!

Getting Gifts Rule

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I may have gifted myself just a tad bit for the holidays (and there was more that I bought for yours needy since then), but there’s still nothing sweeter than getting gifts from others. Sure, all that would barely fill 1/9th of Santa’s gift sack, but who cares when a long-time friend of yours gifted you a C-note? And that Target gift card, given by another friend, is worth $25, I should add. Now I can buy more presents that would overflow Santa’s gift sack. (Heh-heh-heh, sack.) Merry Christmas, everyone!

Thanks And No Thanks

For this Turkey Day, instead of a pic of this year’s home-cooked feast that turned out…OK (more on this later), I must list the shit that I’ve been thankful and not so thankful for. Given how this year has turned out, I’m kind of surprised there have been some things I’m thankful for.

Bad stuff first.

*NOT Thankful For…*

–all the anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers still roaming around out there. Keep on fucking around; you’ll eventually find out.

–the one-percenters continuing to get richer. Guillotine when, dammit?

–our very, very dubious judicial system that allowed Pill Cosby to get out of jail, Orange Hitler to keep roaming around a free man dickwad, and this shit

–Game 5 of the NLDS (boooooooooo)

–the pumpkin pie recipe on the back of Trader Joe’s Organic Pumpkin Pie mix. Last year, my pie turned out lovely. But this year, I followed the TJs recipe, and here’s the result:

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It made my place smell nice during baking, but that was it. The taste was eh, and the middle was also runny. *sad face* Much disappointment, TJs. I’m following this recipe from now on!

–speaking of TJs, them not bringing back their Chocolate Pecan Pie Bar for the holidays. Booooooooo!!!

–obvious PR-concocted fluff pieces on so-called nice celebs who are bad twats behind closed doors (more on this in another post)

Now for the good shizz!

*Thankful For* 

–the scientists who created the Covid vaccines (it has to be said)

–me not catching Covid, even after returning to my massage job (and I hope I didn’t jinx myself with this)

my state’s rent relief program that helped my ass out

this verdict! (A sliver of hope from the courts. Now if the sentence can fit the crime…)

–Revlon’s Vixen nail polish. I feel fierce when I wear it, and it’s also a good dupe for Chanel’s Vamp

–me cooking a whole turkey and it turning out right. It’s been years since I cooked a whole turkey; I’ve been buying turkey breasts as they’re cheaper and easier to cook, but I couldn’t deny the 79-cents a pound sale Target had on whole birds. I followed this method, and wow did my meat taste so juicy and flavorful! (I will say that I didn’t have white wine, but I used ACV as a substitute.)

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The turkey looks nicer in person, trust. And, hey, the biscuits and stuffing also turned out well.

–me saving the last of my TJs Chocolate Pecan Pie Bar from last year. Kept it in the freezer for a year and it tasted better than this year’s pumpkin pie.

–those looooong BBC Essential Mixes from the 90s on YouTube, like the one below that lucky club-hoppers danced to 26 years ago this day. (I can’t forget it’s Throwback Thursday, even if it’s a holiday.) Now to dance away my Thanksgiving meal!

Costume Party (Baseball Edition)

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Today’s Halloween and there’s also some very important baseball game to be played tonight. It’s not often playoff baseball gets played on Halloween, but when it happens, it’s not just the players serving up tricks and treats!

A look back at some costumed baseball fans from the past…

degrom costume (ack!)

Look–it’s Weird Al as a baseball player! Pic courtesy of Cut 4/MLB.com

(Yes, I know that’s supposed to be a janky version of deGrom.)

A Nats fan back in 2019, before her team won the real thing that year. Pic courtesy of WTOP.com

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This is from the 2013 West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval, which I was at. I posted this last year, and it remains one of the wildest costumes I’ve seen in terms of context. So rude yet so true.

And, lastly, this gem:

YEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!! Pic courtesy of BarDown.com

Bonus pic of the back:

Even the baby doesn’t like cheaters. Pic courtesy of this Twitter

Happy Halloween, everyone!!

Party Of One – The Sequel!

It’s my birthday, bitches! And while other born-day celebrants today would hit the clubs, a fancy restaurant, or have a house party thrown by friends, I was feeling spicy this year. I did laundry! I cleaned my floors! I cooked food! And before you snicker, one of my birthday traditions for the past eight years or so is not leaving home. At all. Even if I’m out-of-town and in my rental home or hotel room, I don’t go out. Why should I bother going out and possibly encountering assholes or shit situations that could likely ruin my special day? Plus, I normally do laundry and floor-cleaning on Saturdays. It’s a habit.

Birthday food! To the left is my birthday cake, which I got for half-off at Safeway a couple months ago. Hey, it held up well in the freezer the whole time. To the right is a pot of chicken bacon ranch mac & cheese–homemade, honey. I originally was going to order some mac & cheese from Homeroom (which used to have a chicken bacon ranch dish), but I know I can cook up a mean mac & cheese myself. And while the breadcrumbs didn’t toast as I wanted it to, the taste was divine. Fattening as hell, but divine. That dish was so good, I ended up making my birthday wishes on my mac & cheese instead of on the cake.

If you also want to fatten your butt like me, here’s the recipe for that. (The recipe doesn’t call for breadcrumbs, by the way; I just added it myself.)

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Birthday pampering, Part One! Y’all, I was feeling for something vampy this time around. I thought about getting Chanel’s “Vamp” with my Macy’s b-day coupon, but $18 for a small-ass bottle of nail polish plus having to wait for it since they don’t sell Chanel nail polish in Macy’s stores (not the ones near me) didn’t sit well with me. I found out that Revlon’s “Vixen” was a good dupe for “Vamp” and it was only $7. The color on dat thang! Unf. Also, my polish looks a lot more smoothed-out than it does in the pic there. I had just painted them.

As for presents, I may not have been gifted a filthy foursome with Irina Shayk, Aiden Turner, and Michael B. Jordan for tonight. Maybe next year. But Godiva cherry-filled chocolates and a free Replica fragrance sampler set from Sephora, among other gifts, is nothing to scoff at! Besides, until I get that foursome, the gift of your favorite baseball team winning the World Series right before your b-day is hard to top!

Now to treat mahself even more. I’m gonna online shop (Pat McGrath just had to start her Fall sale today) and play some games on the Wii. Aww yiss.

Tomorrow I go out and continue Part Two of my birthday pampering. Yours Oldly is getting herself a massage and some hot tub time at a spa. I am SO overdue for a massage. So my Halloween costume this year will be something rare–a relaxed and pampered woman. I’ll probably put on a robe, slippers, face cream, and cucumbers over my eyes for added effect.