!!!!

This should’ve been posted earlier today, but I went on a long day trip yesterday, then watched the Warriors win their fourth championship in eight years by sneaking into a bar (I was only there for a couple minutes and no one bothered me), celebrated another Bay Area sports win in the most Bay Area way possible (with weed), woke up late today thanks to the weed, then drove around town trying to look for that paper above, finally succeeding at the Safeway in Clayton. (All the other Safeways near me sold out of that paper!) I’m now home and this lemon ginger tea I’m having never tasted better.

Did Somebody Say Mariah At McDonald’s?

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Why bother with fries with your order when blinding glamour served by the Hello Kitty Butterfly Queen Mariah Carey is a far better dish? (By the way, wearing black-tie wear to a fast food place needs to be a new trend.) I guess I’m the last to know about Mimi’s collab with McDonald’s, as she has a special menu with them that’s been going on for almost two weeks. Now, I haven’t eaten McD’s let alone set foot in one in AGES (I have better options, sorry Mimi), and about the only thing that will break that streak is if I find out Mimi is there. Given my luck, that streak will highly likely remain intact. Ah well, Happy Xmas Eve!

Pic courtesy of Page Six

Happy Britney Is Free-day!

And on a day when this scumbag gets indicted!  

Now if the courts can go after her abusive leech of a dad, that would be swell. Also, she should dump that BF of hers. He’s pretty sus, if you ask me. 

I hope Brit-Brit gets to live her life her way from here on out, and that she and her kids are happy and safe. 

 

Haha On Yous

I’ve found a new subReddit to take delight in!

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The vile, oxygen thieving terrorists ruined what should’ve been a sweet Hump Day this week by staging Fascistpalooza (that’s what I’m calling it) at the Capitol. But it seems like some wrongs are being righted as we speak thanks to Bye Bye Job! The Uplifting News and Made Me Smile subReddits need to drop their names and come up with new titles, because all the headlines at BBJ actually uplift me and make me smile! On the flip side, now I really gotta watch my ass on this blog. If there’s ever a tool that can detect the real identity behind a blogger name and if posting endless pics of Irina Shayk becomes a crime in the near future, I’m screwed!

Oh, and there’s also Orange Hitler getting permabanned on Blue Bird. While it’s, oh, four years too late and it had to take an attempted coup for them to finally ban his ass, there’s always imagining how pissed off Tiny Hands is right now. I think there’s an artist’s rendition of it somewhere…

(I know there’s one with Chump’s head photoshopped in the GIF, but I’d rather not post his unfortunate mug around here. Name-dropping him is enough for me.)

**UPDATE: 1/13/20: aaaaand I got another subReddit (that particularly focuses on the Fascistpalooza dipshits) to take joy in! Squeeeee!!

Freaky New Year!

It’s officially 2021 (aka 2020 part 5), and since it’s also Flashback Friday (which is what I do when I’m not around to post something for Throwback Thursday), here’s SF Giants legend and former crush object of mine Tim Lincecum blowing his champagne load on the cover of Sports Illustrated. (Yes, I had a crush on him, judge away.) Has it been ten years since that cover dropped and I rushed over to my nearest Safeway to buy that issue so I can squeal over those pics of The Freak in the comfort of my home? Lordt I’m an old.

Some things I hope to see this year: getting my Covid vaccines, Covid being reduced to something manageable and not horrifically serious, the SF Giants winning another championship, every single selfish brat who partied maskless and traveled a lot during this pandemic to get pelted by jagged rocks wherever they go (oh, and go broke, too), the New York Post to fold because of this and their other bullshit, the downfall of influencers and Instagram clones (dem thots all look disgustingly alike), the return of real, natural beauty and genuine personalities and riot grrl rock music (I know–random grouping, but they all go together if you look at it), Orange Hitler being dragged out by Secret Service if his hateful, ignant ass still refuses to leave the White House come Biden’s inauguration day, Moscow Mitch to kick the bucket after choking on a Lego, Georgia to go blue once more next Tuesday (please!!), and, of course, my dream career as a novelist to finally take off!!!

We Are All Nelson Muntz Today

*checks out the Reddit All feed at a time I usually avoid it*

*top three stories (as of Thursday 11:55 PM my time) are about Orange Hitler aka Chump (and his hooker wife) catching the Covid* (Or is it Covid catching a case of Chump? Eh, equals.)

*reads last paragraph of my previous post, thinks*

Well.

What else is there to say for now? (Besides I hope to Bowie and Prince that Biden and his wife didn’t catch it. Oh, and tots and pears and bleach.) Except…