The Withdrawal

Me after going without two of my vices, crunchy foods and weed, for 15 days because of my wisdom teeth yoinking:

it's day 15!!

Oh jiminy criminy, it blows to go without those two for so long. I actually can do without weed for a bit (shocker, I know), but I feel like I need to reward myself with a little toke for resisting the urge to stuff my mouth with some greasy chips all this time. I got advised by my oral surgeon doctor dude to refrain from crunchy foods and anything that would cause dry mouth (like weed *sobs*) for at least a month after my surgery. Normally, I like to bend some rules, but I also read about dry socket and, like me whenever I see candy corn or edamame anything, I’m all, “not in my mouth!” I can’t be kept away from my cereal, though. I let it get soggy before I eat it, so ha!

No Winners Here

Me as an SF Giants fan and seeing some other Giants fans having the audacity to root for a team that cheated during a World Series (and never got punished for it) over their long-time rivals that’s playing the cheaters today:

I get wanting those bums in blue to lose; it’s tradition. But rooting for those cheating bitches?! It’s like deciding which STD you’d rather have. How about considering neither!!!

Justice For Brit-Brit!

Me after reading Britney’s statement against her indentured servitude to her pimp dad conservatorship

It was relieving to hear the actual Britney and not some PR person masking as her for once. But, wow. She spilled a lot. The backbreaking work schedule forced upon her, the lithium thing, the forced IUD?!?! How could you not get sad and angry over all this? Even if you’re not a fan of her music or think she’s overrated (I’ll spare the side-eyes for now), she is still a human being that doesn’t deserve that shit at all.

My sympathy and support to Brit-Brit is boundless, and I hope she finally gets her way and lives the life she wants. Is that hard to ask?

Also, I see you Timberfake and Lamar Odom’s plastic Sasquatch ex-wife trying to fish for some goodwill in all this with your faux support. STFU and continue to fade into obscurity.

Reclaiming My Buzz

The header pic was supposed to show the latest addition to my slut arsenal, but I think such images are a no-no in WordPress Land, thus the GIF above that could also be a metaphor for this post. Anyhoo, I’ll be taking the “hump” in Happy Hump Day seriously after I finish up this post. This arrived in the mail yesterday, and yours slutty is now the proud owner of a high-end object of affection that I got for half off its original retail price! Lelos may be fancy-looking, wallet-breaking nut-busters, but I’m now making more money since returning to my massage job, and they also had a big sale over a week ago–coincidentally, right when my last vibe died. My old vibe died so a Lelo can live (in my bed). Oh, why I am writing…I got a new toy to play with!