Heat waves are never funny, especially when they fuck up a region not used to heat waves at all. But oh this sign…
How come the East Bay Area didn’t get that kind of sign when we had our heat wave a couple weeks ago?! You know we’ll be needing that sometime in July. And August. And maybe September.
On the sorta-kinda plus side, Pacific Northwesters can finally do this.
Stay cool and hydrated, fellow West Coasters!
Pic courtesy of this site
Two of the headlines on Reddit’s “All” feed today…
It would be better if the stories flipped rankings, but it still works. Sheeit, a goofy cat on YouTube pulls more viewers than the Oscars. Also, I was one of those who contributed to the low-ass viewership this year. In the words of an Aussie acquaintance, I just could not be arsed.
Because I’m a breast chick, anything titty-related gets my attention. This happened in LA today.
I should applaud the effort but I’m feeling nitpicky today. (It’s the PMS.) If the sign crashers made the effort to climb up that terrain to make the sign worthy of a thousand Beavis and Butthead laughs (although, in fairness, the “wood” part alone gets them LOLing), they could have pulled up the first B to cover up that W, and also created another big B to cover up that D. Unless you get up close to the sign, no one’s gonna see that line through that D! It will read HOLLYwBOOD from the 101! I’m giving this a reluctant one tit up, and Hollyweed still has yet to meet its match!
It’s Inauguration Day here in the States. And I am very glad to see a transition from the vile rat fucks that infested the White House, to actual politicians who care about bettering the country. I never acknowledged Orange Hitler as that “P” word, but I do look forward to hearing the words “President Biden” and “Vice-President Harris” from the media for the next four years. The titles just fit.
Here, I’ll add mine:
Lost the election
Racist got impeached twice, now
Lock his fat ass up!
(Note: I usually don’t body shame…unless if it involves someone odious as Chump. Then the gloves are off.)
Oh, and I see you TCM Channel and your slew of “Joe movies” you’ll be airing today. Well played.
I couldn’t find a fun thing to post here (that also didn’t have to do with the terrorist bungwipes getting shamed and arrested for participating in last week’s Fascistpalooza, as I want to avoid that topic for a minute) for the past few days. Just when I was going to file a theft report on Steve Harvey’s daughter for stealing Michael B Jordan away from me (booooo), another favorite subReddit of mine came through with a perky post on what may very well be the breast pillow ever!
And the company who makes these “most realistic boob” pillows with “100% mammary foam” (ahahahaha) must be after my heart and wallet. They look realistic–at least if you look at them like they’re fake titties. The pillow above seems to have one titty slightly bigger than the other and the “wide canyon” in the between, just like a classic stripper’s rack, so the company got the realistic part right. My all-natural swing-low sweet chariots can’t compare, but they do look like that after you’ve had seven beers.
Also, I cannot be the only one who reads the descriptions and think all of it was originally written in a foreign language and went through BabelFish for translation:
“you feel very interesting, with curves contoured like those of a woman, creative breast boob pillow for comfort, it will be your best friend who brightens your mood…”
I dunno, if I were to nestle my head in the chichis of my bestie every time I need to brighten my mood (and that’s like almost every other
day hour), she’d be questioning the hell out of our friendship.
The more I look at it (and I need to stop looking at it), the more I see its versatility. Think about it: you can use it to actually relax your neck or low back, do slut stuff with it if that’s your game, use it as a breastplate to scare or humor others, pillow fight with it, or display it in your home on the shelf as a work of art. Basic ergonomic neck/low back pillows be damned, for the MyTittyPillow has arrived to suit your many comforting needs!
Pic courtesy of the The Top Store
An “esthetic nightmare”…Muskrat obviously hasn’t looked in a mirror or the working conditions of his factory lately, has he?
Also, don’t bother coming at me, Elon fanboys. You’re a fanboy of Elon, therefore you’ve lost in life.
Source can be found if ya click the tweet
Kitty Butthole Cookie Cutters! Sure, I also want a billion dollars and endless hump sessions with Irina Shayk and Michael B. Jordan for Xmas, but a Sephora gift card and this sophisticated baking utensil can suffice! Williams-Sonoma gots nuthin’ on this Etsy seller who makes this and other feline-themed cookie cutters. It’s also a best-seller and received a butt(hole)load of 5-star ratings, so there’s one rightful thing going in this world. (Side note: any non-porn listing title with the words “butt”, “party”, and “butthole” will always get my attention, no matter what you’re selling.) And the finished product (if you’re using the cookie cutters to actually make cookies and not placing them on a pedestal as a fine art display) has never made kitty bootyhole cookies look more delectable.
Now that’s a tea session worthy of putting your pinkies up!
Credit to this Reddit post, which led me to the Etsy listing where the pictures originated from, which will lead me to being $30+ less rich once I get my paws on those bootyful items.
It’s National Pumpkin Day today, and while others can fawn over the typical carvings this week (it’s also Halloween week), I’ll just admire this Blue Ribbon-worthy work of art! It almost makes me want to turn off my WiFi!
Pic courtesy of this old Reddit post
(ETA: looks like I don’t have to turn off the WiFi to enjoy one of my favorite time-wasters!)
Yes, I know I haven’t posted anything in over a week. Still working the temp job (though I may return to my regular job soon), and still editing my story (while also coming up with ideas for my next story).
Anyhoo-hoo, let’s celebrate the start of the bestest zodiac sign of them all* with this meme that is accurate AF!
*I know it’s the bestest sign of them all because I am a Scorpio myself! Scorp Gang rise up!! (Except Wheelchair Jimmy, Orange Hitler’s favorite daughter Complicit Barbie, psycho bitch-ass Roseanne, Anna Wintour and her tragic hairdo that’s as ancient as her, anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy, and Pimp Mama Kris Kartrashian and her wooden-faced crotchfruit that “models”–you disgraces aren’t allowed to sit with us.)
It’s Handegg (my pet name for ‘Murican football) Season, so come down to Denver n’ meet some (masked) friends of mine! Awesom-O and Satan included! Though I am side-eyeing them for not social distancing.
Now if only an Oregon college handegg team can get the entire town of Springfield to one of their games.
Pic courtesy of BSPN