The Most Unforgettable Eye Balm

After coming across this disturbing headline (who knew that damn thing could sink any lower), I had to cleanse my eyes quick. And there’s no betta balm for battered eyes than 80s supermodel glamour (at least for me), courtesy of these classic Revlon ads!

No tired eyes, no basic-ness detected, no problem! Even their hair is serving it! 

Pics courtesy of Fashion Gone Rouge

What A Dame

What better way to start off the work week (although mines starts on Tuesday) than this vintage capture of today’s birthday queen, Dame Joan Collins, who’s giving me more fashion and glamour in this one pic than all the red carpets and fashion mag covers from the past five years!

Also, I know I posted this Dynasty clip many times before, but in these increasingly-misogynistic times, it needs to be shown again. Seeing an assertive woman of power and style, grabbing all the men by their balls in her ex-husband’s boardroom with only her verbal command is always a breath of fresh air.

True FASHUN

TIL that the irrelevant, overhyped, style-lacking suckfest for wannabe A-listers that’s the Mess, er, Met Gala is not only still happening, but is happening today. Didn’t that shit happen just a few months ago? Rather than get annoyed over how many dubious AF, talent-exempt who-dats got invited (which I’m sure will make up at least 90% of the attendees) and will show up in outfits that would make Fashion Nova seem high-end, I’d rather admire the past lewks of underrated fashionista João Paulo!

Back in 2016, João took whatever household shit he had and recreated some of the Gala’s most, ahem, memorable outfits. Who needs the couturiers of Louis Vuitton and pricey hairstylists when you can have your own celebrity-inspired haute couture and hair with some foil, duct tape, and wig from the Dollar Store?! I’m not sure if he recreated other outfits from other Galas after, and that he wasn’t invited to the 2017 event after his landmark FASHUN moment all the more proves how out-of-touch that withered barnacle with the bad wig known as Anna Wintour is. If anything, the Gala needs João more than he needs the Gala.

Pic courtesy of Dlisted, where you can see more of João serving real Gala-worthy style here! 

An Exquisite May Flower

This May, enter the werkroom, get sunburnt, and do the splits glamorously like today’s birthday queen, Katya Zamolodchikova! (Thank goodness for the copy-paste feature.) I was lucky to meet her and get her autograph at LA DragCon years ago, and I hope she’s overcome her past mental struggles. She channels almost every mood of mine, whether it’s aging, being pissed off at some dudes, or feeling horny!

Vintage Balm For My Eyes

Still iconic thirty years later: 90s supermodels on Vogue’s 100th anniversary issue, April 1992. I have this issue! And no April Fool’s joke here–all their faces and bodies are all-natural! After having the misfortune to come across the eyesore that is last month’s cover of InStyle (I’ve seen scarecrows show more emotion) at work yesterday, seeing that memorable image has given me life again. Well, that is until I see another one-note, drowsy-eyed product of nepotism “earn” another “fashion” mag cover again. Which will, sadly, be soon.

By the way, to this day I’m still miffed that Yasmeen Ghauri (the brunette model in the middle left) never had a Vogue cover on her own. Dat face and figure alone should’ve been worthy of at least ten Vogue covers. Even Anna Wintour was making dubious choices long before a certain soulless klan from Calabasas came her way.

Fanning Myself Over The Elegance

BFF cover 1

While other so-called “fashion magazines” are either killing off their print editions (while giving dead-eyed husks a cover), or putting an NFT of a tone-deaf, selfish-defining, substance-exempt piece of irrelevance on their covers, here comes Black Fashion Fair to serve glamour and fashun to my glamour-and-fashun-starved self. I had to check the date of those publications because I am not used to seeing such proper style from recent years, let alone from 2022. You could show me that cover and I’d think that came from the mid-90s, not from this tragic decade. Look at that–no drowsy eyes, the models don’t look awfully airbrushed, and not a hint of irony anywhere (unlike having a plastic surgery mess photoshopped to the hilt on a “Body Issue”). The other covers are stylin’ too! It goes to show that maybe there are still some true artists in the bleak AF fashion world who aren’t driven by online clicks or that nonsense. But it’s also a damn shame that the mainstream “fashion mags” would rather showcase wannabe A-listers who supposedly get online clicks in an attempt to sell covers instead of what they’re supposed to feature this whole time: fashion.

I’d buy a copy of BFF, but not only is the issue worth the same hourly price to solicit a former Teen Mom-turned-hooker (OK, the mag is worth way more than that), all copies of its first edition are sold out. Your move, other fashion mags!

A Glamorous Farewell

violet with mugler

Badass glamour has sadly gone to heaven with the passing of legendary fashion designer Thierry Mugler today (seen above with drag queen Violet Chachki). Now he’ll be trading bitchy bon mots with Andre Leon Talley and designing Betty White’s dress for her third 100th birthday gala up in the heavens.

For those who aren’t familiar with Mugler’s work, first off, shame on you! Second, watch these clips and prepare yourself for an onslaught of sex alien high-heeled waist-cinched FASHUN eleganza that could turn all the leggings and frayed-up skinny jeans at Macy’s into a meager pile of basic rubble.

Though this version of George Michael’s “Too Funky” video is the one all of us know, this vid is Mugler’s nipple-raising director’s cut.

And, of course, I cannot forget his cheeky appearance in Robert Altman’s Ready To Wear Pret-a-Porter!

“It’s all about getting a great fuck, honey” (on his sartorial works of art). Maybe I should make that my epitaph.

Repose en paix, Monsieur Mugler.

Pic courtesy of Reddit