Oy, This Month

princess blingee

My princess of a blog turns three today. She can ditch her pampers and ride a trike now.

I usually like it when June rolls around, but that women’s reproductive rights may (will?) be stripped away in some states thanks to some ass-backwards, corrupt cuntbeasts in the Supreme Court, and misogyny may skyrocket no matter what the outcome of the Heard/Depp trial, all in this month…sheeit. Guess I better sharpen my axe.

(Side note: if you’re fed up or even bewildered with the excess pro-Depp content coming from that trial like I am, I got a couple of eyeopening goodies for ya.)

Happy Kylie Weekend!

For this holiday weekend, let us all do the locomotion under raining glitter in honor of the Impossible Princess who’s had us spinning around with fever over the past 30+ years, today’s birthday queen Kylie Minogue!!!!! We should be so lucky to have this modern-day Aphrodite in our timeline, for her music that we can’t get out of our heads, showgirl style, and golden personality has us all wanting more more more.

Now get outta my way ’cause I wanna hit the dancefloor with these tunes.

What A Dame

What better way to start off the work week (although mines starts on Tuesday) than this vintage capture of today’s birthday queen, Dame Joan Collins, who’s giving me more fashion and glamour in this one pic than all the red carpets and fashion mag covers from the past five years!

Also, I know I posted this Dynasty clip many times before, but in these increasingly-misogynistic times, it needs to be shown again. Seeing an assertive woman of power and style, grabbing all the men by their balls in her ex-husband’s boardroom with only her verbal command is always a breath of fresh air.

An Exquisite May Flower

This May, enter the werkroom, get sunburnt, and do the splits glamorously like today’s birthday queen, Katya Zamolodchikova! (Thank goodness for the copy-paste feature.) I was lucky to meet her and get her autograph at LA DragCon years ago, and I hope she’s overcome her past mental struggles. She channels almost every mood of mine, whether it’s aging, being pissed off at some dudes, or feeling horny!

Two Bouquets Of Hotness

Because I need to cleanse my eyes and soul after both were subjected to the awfulness that is life in 2022, here are old-school (it’s old-school to Gen Z since these pics came from when Gen Z were gleams in the eyes of their parents; meanwhile, I was in high school when those covers came out so yes I’m an old) captures of two of my favorite hotties, who went up to my then-straight sexuality and declared “you straight no mo’, honey'”, who also share a birthday today, Penelope Cruz and Jessica Alba! If you can hear a loud-ass whirr right now, that’s the fan I turned on and set on the highest setting because I need to cool mahself down after seeing those pics. (Side note: every Maxim cover and layout back then really deserved many Photoshop Awards. They airbrushed the hell out of those women, which, in J-Alba’s case, was simply not necessary.)

A True King

Happiest of birthdays today to NBA Hall of Famer, sports legend, author, actor, social activist, and truth bomb thrower Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! My 2nd best NBA player of all-time (don’t get me started on that list). I had a chance to see him when he did an event at the Lesher Center a couple months ago, but damn that I had to work that day! I hope there will be a next time (I make an effort to see my legends), but until then, I’ll always have those 80s Laker games and, of course, this:

Happy Mimi Day

Who cares about tonight’s Oscars (it’s still a thing?!) when a far more important and actual relevant event is occurring today: the born day of My Butterfly Rainbow Hello Kitty Queen, Mariah Carey!

This time, let’s flip the script and spotlight my favorite remixes of hers…

Only a true music legend can remix a ballad to a hip-hop jam flawlessly, get the artist whose song inspired your remix in your video, pioneer the trend of pop star/rapper collabs (and still do it better than those a generation younger than you), and look stun in a tube top and miniskirt and fighting your evil twin in white goopy stuff.

Celebrate, Mimi, celebrate!

Throwback Eye Candy

With all the ugly ugly ugly going on that keeps going in the world (pandemic shit, global warming, next month’s issue of Vogue), is it any wonder why I keep turning back to the past for balm for the eyes? This week’s Throwback Thursday is brought to you by some vintage eye candy, courtesy of today’s birthday hotties, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Denise Richards!

This clip is now 10 years old?! And LOL at this vid being “age-restricted.” There’s been far worse on YT that don’t even get that warning.

Yes, I had the clip start at that part. And to think that movie was marketed to us teens back in the late 90s. Which, coincidentally, was the same time I started to question if I was really straight. Gee, I wonder why.