Happy Assiversary

I was reading the archives of Dlisted to remind me of how fun both celeb gossip and that website used to be (sorry, Michael K, but it had to be said), and while seeing what was posted 10 years ago today, I came across some ass. No, not some story on Jimmy Fallon, but an actual ass (who was also Dlisted’s Hot Slut of the Day), flaunted by a Bums fan at a Bums home game to…a Bums pitcher?!

It happened to be at a game that saw the debut of then-rookie/current MVP Bryce Harper, and you don’t get any more Dodgers than one of their fans mooning the pitcher of their team. It’s one thing when I flaunted cleavage at a Giants home game when both Madison Bumgarner and Jacob DeGrom (when he had the lovely long locks) were pitching, but it wasn’t out of distraction as it was ho-ing myself and showing my thirst for hot star pitchers. Maybe that was the actual intention of that mooner, but we’ll never know.

Pic courtesy of Dlisted

Go Alyssa!

After hearing about a sad celebrity passing and a potential future mess (oh lordt why), I needed some happy news. Leave it to mah baseball team to come thru, not just on the scoreboard, but in the history books:

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Like many things in a sports game, this wasn’t even planned. That the Giants (and not, you know, the Dodgers) was the first to make this happen makes it all the more kick-ass!

Posey Pride

posey_muscles!

This is SF Giants player/3X World Series champ/precious eye candy Buster Posey, who has just announced his retirement from the MLB. I’m gonna miss this man!

My Posey story: I attended the 2013 Giants Fanfest, and while walking around…wherever the hell I was (the basement floor that leads to the locker room, I guess?), I noticed this small entourage not too far behind me. In the middle was the man himself, surrounded by a couple of security dudes and other people. I don’t remember if I said anything to him, and I’m kind of surprised I didn’t turn into a puddle of panty pudding after seeing him in the flesh. What I do remember were the shrieks of Posey fans as he kept walking. Them girls were LOUD!

Meeting Posey

With a smile like the one he’s giving me here and there will be no dispute of that, can you blame those fangirls?

His retirement announcement was unexpected, and if only this year’s Giants were able to win at least one more ring for him. (Bitch-ass Dodgers!) But riding off into the sunset with accomplishments like his are nothing to scoff at.

Happy Trails, Posey! You will definitely be missed from the game.

And since it’s also Throwback Thursday, my absolute favorite highlight of his: the Buster Hugs!

Costume Party (Baseball Edition)

smiley face in crowd

Today’s Halloween and there’s also some very important baseball game to be played tonight. It’s not often playoff baseball gets played on Halloween, but when it happens, it’s not just the players serving up tricks and treats!

A look back at some costumed baseball fans from the past…

degrom costume (ack!)

Look–it’s Weird Al as a baseball player! Pic courtesy of Cut 4/MLB.com

(Yes, I know that’s supposed to be a janky version of deGrom.)

A Nats fan back in 2019, before her team won the real thing that year. Pic courtesy of WTOP.com

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This is from the 2013 West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval, which I was at. I posted this last year, and it remains one of the wildest costumes I’ve seen in terms of context. So rude yet so true.

And, lastly, this gem:

YEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!! Pic courtesy of BarDown.com

Bonus pic of the back:

Even the baby doesn’t like cheaters. Pic courtesy of this Twitter

Happy Halloween, everyone!!

And On Sunday I Laugh

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Highest payroll in the league and they had all the so-called “baseball experts” and national jokes, I mean, broadcasters rimming them out left and right, and all the Bums have to show for it is, well…nothing, actually. No NL West title (that’s the Giants’), no NL Pennant (that’s now the Braves’, and huge congrats to them!), and, most importantly, no World Series title (let alone appearance) this year. It bears repeating: no World Series title (let alone appearance) this year for the Dodgers. 

Best of luck to the throat doctors who will be taking care of the ESPN baseball heads and the TBS announcers after their endless deep-throating they’ve given the Bums (who also had some woman-beaters on their team) this year. You know those doctors deserve to get paid Dodger money while inspecting those windpipes that I’m sure will have remnants of Walker Buehler’s spooge and the tangerine-hued pubes of Justin Turner. You’re welcome for that visual. 

Finally, “grueling season”…*snorts* You mean a regular, 162-game season, Plaschke? A regular season where that team spent bajillions to acquire all the bats to catch up with the Giants and came up one game short of winning your division? A regular season that the Bums still have yet to fully win a ring in since–wait for it…….1988? A regular season that your orange-and-black rivals have won three times in back in the 2010s? So much for that greatest team ever in baseball history! 

And just like that, this mint in my mouth tastes even mintier. Mmm. 

 

Screenshot courtesy of LA Times homepage

 

Message Of The Day!*

Playoff baseball has officially bit my ass. I know this because last night I had this weird dream that both the Giants and Bums scored six runs each in Game 1 of their series, and the score remained stuck for innings while I wandered around Oracle Park like I had mixed NyQuil and DayQuil. Not the first dream that I wandered around in such fashion and in a place my real-life self cannot afford to get into, but that’s not the point. While I will always adore the City of Smog, Super-shitty traffic, and Superficial Hot Messes, when it comes to playoff baseball, mah team comes first! Go Giants!

Side note: not sure why that message is in a Giants-Mets game, but at least those fans know how to spell.

*and for the rest of the NLDS, I should add.