It’s Ladies Night!

It’s HOT as Satan’s sphincter in the East Bay Area today, so to take my mind away from our current inferno, I shall gorge on Rebel ice cream, sit on a bag of frozen peas, and rewatch these Girl Power moments from the 1997 MTV VMAs (obligatory when the show mattered and had REAL stars/musicians around), which happened 25 years ago today!

If there was one single flaw from this performance, it’s that effing seated crowd that seemed not into it. Joyless fools! They couldn’t recognize the amazingness unfolding in front of them. The outfits of Kim and Left Eye that scream “QUEEN”, Da Brat entering as a badass warrior that would make the incels pop a vein, and Missy werkin’ it…I live!

If any of you miss genuine speeches with soul from entertainers, or if you want some eye balm from stumbling upon a clip from this year’s VMAs, this clip is all you need to watch. The youths in, erm, music today could never.

I’m not sure what’s more memorably wild: Busta and Martha presenting an award together, seeing Posh eek out a ultra-rare smile, or Ginger Spice going all-out campy drag with her getup. (Side note: I soooo wanted to dress like her for Halloween that year. I ended up dressing like a janky version of Sporty Spice instead. Janky Spice!) Also, no snark here, but the dedication to Princess Diana (who had perished just days before the show) was a sweet touch.

Represent The Yay Area

In honor of the Warriors reclaiming their crown again, this weekend’s playlist is all about the Bay Area’s finest rappers of the 1990s! (What, you really think my forever-nostalgic ass was gonna post some recent shit?!)

True story: some creative kid back in my 6th grade music class played that beat on the piano. All I could do was just whistle it, albeit crappily.

Ooohhh, this forever fresh track. The extended version is also gold.

And remember, people, don’t buy an $85,000 car before you buy a house. (Although the joke’s on E-40: I can’t afford either!)

A Weekend To Mahself

My line of work usually has me working on weekends, but since I’m off on Saturdays at the spa I work at, which will also be closed this Easter Sunday, I get to have the one thing those Monday-to-Friday work slaves have been enjoying for years: a weekend off!! It’s an extended weekend for me, as I usually start my work week on Tuesday, so you know I’ll be making the most of this precious time off.

In honor of this no-work weekend, here are some of my favorite weekend-themed songs (with a dance twist)!

And, of course, this classic of all classics!

Happy Mimi Day

Who cares about tonight’s Oscars (it’s still a thing?!) when a far more important and actual relevant event is occurring today: the born day of My Butterfly Rainbow Hello Kitty Queen, Mariah Carey!

This time, let’s flip the script and spotlight my favorite remixes of hers…

Only a true music legend can remix a ballad to a hip-hop jam flawlessly, get the artist whose song inspired your remix in your video, pioneer the trend of pop star/rapper collabs (and still do it better than those a generation younger than you), and look stun in a tube top and miniskirt and fighting your evil twin in white goopy stuff.

Celebrate, Mimi, celebrate!

Listening To… (3/12)

…these 90s R&B/Rap songs that are oddly on repeat for me today. 

Side note: because I’m an out-of-touch old, apparently Tevin’s “Can We Talk” is now some social media challenge among the youths. Here’s a challenge I’d like to see from the youths: make a song without autotune, pedestrian tacky lyrics, and a rap or dance beat mixed in. 

Gotta love it when you watch old school vids and parts of it gets blurred out and you’re wondering what they’re actually censoring. That’s just melons in that fruit stand, not a bunch of titties out. (Uh, wait.) 

I discovered this song 21 years after its original release (thank the 90s R&B music channels on Comcast for that). Also, Craig Mack (RIP) should’ve been more major than what he got from the rap game. 

Yet another song I discovered years after its release. The vocals on this track! The 90s were the last great decade for, among many, many other things, male R&B groups. And when I play this and the “Vibin'” song, I’m reminded of my spring trip in LA back in 2016. The weather was exquisite, I went to DragCon and met some amazing queens, and my Penguins knocked out the Caps in the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs! (I’ll save the rest for a future Travel Slut Diaries post.)

Bad Girl Weekend

After seeing the eyesore that is an unnecessary big-ass display of Carolina Herrera’s “Good Girl” perfume at Macy’s, two things. 1) When is there gonna be a “Bad Girl” perfume? I can never own something with a name that you say to either your female pet, or submissive in a BDSM scene, or if you’re an ignorant choad being condescending to a woman. And 2) here are some weekend tunes for the bad girl in me, courtesy of three of my music queens, two of which recently celebrated a birthday. (Fittingly that they’re Scorpios!)

I love me some Peaches! There’s more to her than that one song you heard in Lost In Translation. I’ve seen her live three times and she was electric in her performances. 

If you don’t know who Kathleen Hanna (lead singer of Bikini Kill) is, then you don’t know Riot Grrl rock! Kinda sad that she and Courtney Love didn’t get along during grunge rock’s heyday, because their duet that only exists in an alternative universe would’ve been one for the ages. 

Finally, yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the release of Lil Kim’s “Hard Core” album. The whole album is forever fire, and, besides “No Time”, here are my most-played tracks from it.

Wild opinion: this song does more for feminism than some of the so-called feminist anthems out there. You don’t get more girl power than a woman wanting her share, even if it’s in the bedroom. 

That last track, by the way, inspired me to write a poem involving all my Hollywood crushes. No joke! 

And in the words of the Queen Bee herself, “Beside every man is a Bad Girl”! So take that, Carolina. 


Hump Day Par-tay

For those who don’t know, I LIVE for super-long 90s dance megamixes. And I gotta thank those YouTube users who have uploaded vintage BBC Essential Mixes, for without them, I wouldn’t have discovered this powerhouse mix, played 25 years ago on this date by DJ Carl Cox. (The date listed in the video is notated the UK way.) I actually first heard of this mix eight years ago, and every time I play it, I turn into a one-woman rave–minus the glow sticks, pacifiers, and ecstasy pills because I have none of those things. 

Besides, when cheaters lose on the championship level, it’s always a good day to party!


New Jack Swingin’

Continuing with my 1991-themed Throwback Thursdays for this month, here are some of my favorite R&B songs that were released 30 years ago, at the height of the New Jack Swing era! Gotta dance away all my nerves of the upcoming Game 5 between the Giants and Bums, y’know. (I gotta do a LOT of dancing then.)

That New Jack City soundtrack (which gave us the first two songs) remains legendary.

You gotta wonder how many babies were made to this song. Also, thanks to CB4, I sometimes think of big-ass biscuits when this song plays.

I’ve seen conflicting release dates of this eternal jam, but the consensus seems to be at 1991, so it counts! And Rest In Power, Heavy D.

Since it’s also the birthday of Superwoman herself Karyn White…

*sighs* What I would give to go back to the days when women in R&B didn’t look so plastic and ratchet and sang with their real voices without any autotune. No, I would not sacrifice a Giants win tonight for that.