A Wholesome Start To August

This shit blew up over the weekend and I must say: fans of the oh-so innocent southern gentleman really crowdfunded $3K of their own money to access court documents in an attempt to further humiliate his ex-wife…only to publicly humiliate their saintly idol in soooo many, many ways. (Do I smell another lawsuit coming from the Derp camp?)

I’ll just keep it classy here.

And I think this ignorant AF trash (liked by Florence Pugh, whoever she is–I don’t really bother with Gen Z’s “stars”, but her name pops up in the gossip sites I read) needs to be revised last month. Greg (whoever he is, too) really should know that while you can’t keep a real good man down, an awful man just can’t stay up.

Bonus: reactions from the shipwreck

Oy, This Month

princess blingee

My princess of a blog turns three today. She can ditch her pampers and ride a trike now.

I usually like it when June rolls around, but that women’s reproductive rights may (will?) be stripped away in some states thanks to some ass-backwards, corrupt cuntbeasts in the Supreme Court, and misogyny may skyrocket no matter what the outcome of the Heard/Depp trial, all in this month…sheeit. Guess I better sharpen my axe.

(Side note: if you’re fed up or even bewildered with the excess pro-Depp content coming from that trial like I am, I got a couple of eyeopening goodies for ya.)

An Exquisite May Flower

This May, enter the werkroom, get sunburnt, and do the splits glamorously like today’s birthday queen, Katya Zamolodchikova! (Thank goodness for the copy-paste feature.) I was lucky to meet her and get her autograph at LA DragCon years ago, and I hope she’s overcome her past mental struggles. She channels almost every mood of mine, whether it’s aging, being pissed off at some dudes, or feeling horny!

House Party

It’s the first of February, which means not just the start of Black History Month and the Lunar New Year, but the anniversary of me moving into my little apartment! I shall celebrate my 2nd anniversary of living in my studio with a little happy dance…

Although can that underwear guy come over to my studio and do that dance for me?

A Rich December

Dame Joan Collins on Vanity Fair, December 1984, photographed by Herb Ritts. Gee, I wonder what that word could be. Fun fact: just a year ago, she stripped out of her high-end furs and couture outfits for Playboy at 50 years old (!). 

I have this issue (of course), and if you want to know one definition of blasphemy, there is not a single picture of Joan inside save for the cover credit. VF’s Hall of Fame that year featured future international disgrace Orange Hitler, but they couldn’t publish more glamma shots of Alexis going on and on?! Boooooo! 

Stylin’ For September

Various blonde models on US Elle magazine, September 1991. I have this now-30-year-old issue in my collection! And obligatory: models and fashion nowadays don’t look this lively! 

It’s a new month yet again, and once upon a time in the world of fashion magazines, way before they became run down by excessive use of actresses, reality show trash heaps, and girls of nepotism, September was seen as its most important month. The likes of Vogue, Elle, W, and Bazaar released their “Fall Fashion Issue” that were thick as a Big Mac, and the model who graced the cover of that issue was seen as the face of fashion that season. Because the so-called fashion mags these days bore (and sometime annoy, depending on who gets the cover) the fuck out of me, I look back at a few of my favorite September covers to not only properly serve me FASHUN, but to remind me of how great fashion mags once were. And if you notice a 90s bias, I’m not apologizing for it!

bazaar 9:92

Linda Evangelista on US Harper’s Bazaar, September 1992. That was THE cover that resurrected Bazaar from middling mediocrity (see their covers before this one, and you’ll know what I mean) and positioned them to be another stylish rival to the giant that was Vogue. I have many issues of both Bazaar and Vogue from the 90s, and while Vogue had the clout and most of the top photographers, I felt like Bazaar was more palatable compared to Vogue, from its unique storytelling in their editorials to the mesmerizing typography, designed by the great Fabien Baron.

Kirsty Hume on Vogue Italia, September 1994. Leave it to the foreign fashion mags to show its US counterparts how to really serve a cover. Vogue Italia (aka Italian Vogue) was that stylish bitch back in the day. Fall 1994 fashion was all about wild, disco-inspired glamour, the antithesis of all those dreary, grunge looks from the previous year, and this cover (along with Bazaar’s infamous September cover that same year) captured the mood of the moment brilliantly. Photographed by the legendary Steven Meisel, the cover is giving me Helmut Newton/Guy Bourdin vibes. Adore!

w mag 9:95

Kate Moss and her brother Nick on US W magazine, September 1995. This is brilliant because of one thing: dude in a kilt on the cover of a fashion mag.

Linda Evangelista on US Vogue, September 2001. This issue is now 20 years old?! I remember buying two copies of this because I was sooooo excited over the return of Queen Linda. I didn’t even know of her comeback until I saw it on the newsstands. (What social media? This was 2001, kiddos.) Easily my second-favorite Vogue cover of 2001 (with the cover of topless Penelope Cruz still tops).