Gimme!!

Speaking of dinosaurs running offline, I just found out that Google is selling swag featuring the No WiFi Dino at their Mountain View headquarters! I only live an hour away (or two-plus hours depending on the time and traffic) from their headquarters, so if you see some short, redheaded Pinay snatching up a bunch of merchandise featuring a T-Rex whose image is giving me original Game Boy vibes, no need to worry. I’m just an admirer of fine art.  

And dat beanie is calling me! *adds to birthday wish list* 

It’s Scorpio Season!

Yes, I know I haven’t posted anything in over a week. Still working the temp job (though I may return to my regular job soon), and still editing my story (while also coming up with ideas for my next story). 

Anyhoo-hoo, let’s celebrate the start of the bestest zodiac sign of them all* with this meme that is accurate AF!

*I know it’s the bestest sign of them all because I am a Scorpio myself! Scorp Gang rise up!! (Except Wheelchair Jimmy, Orange Hitler’s favorite daughter Complicit Barbie, psycho bitch-ass Roseanne, Anna Wintour and her tragic hairdo that’s as ancient as her, anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy, and Pimp Mama Kris Kartrashian and her wooden-faced crotchfruit that “models”–you disgraces aren’t allowed to sit with us.)

Happy Monday

What do you do when your sports team wins a championship and you want to party with the crowds but also want to stay safe during a global pandemic? Channel your inner Bubble Boy and party on!* 

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Also, congrats to the Lakers! They were the first bouncyball team I got into. I’ll admit: I don’t stan for them anymore like I used to, and I got accustomed to the successes of Bay Area sports during the 2010s that my love for the Lakers over time had, like LeBron’s hairline, receded. But I can definitely light a celebratory blunt (I prefer to get high over drunk) for the purple and gold reaching the mountaintop again. Kobe would be proud. 

*But seriously why the hell do you want to party with a big-ass crowd of strangers during a bloody pandemic just ’cause your team won a championship?! Stop making this state look like Florida west, Laker fans! Stay the fuck home and party with yourself or your friends. 

Tweet came from here (Also, Yahoo’s webpages suuuuuuck.)

Happy National Coming Out Day!

I came out as Bisexual in the spring of 2006. Then, Myspace was the only form of social media (and I never had a Myspace; I always thought having many “friends” as possible was lame-ass) and the person I revealed this to was, well, me. I became honest with myself that spring, after years of being bi-curious, and I would let others know of my sexuality over time.

OK, so my coming out story isn’t captivating, but this old Tumblr post below on National Coming Out Day is.

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I cannot top that. Brava.

Link to that post because giving credit is always hot.

GLAMOUR For Your Weekend

Tired of awful news dominating headlines? Worn out from all things politics? Here’s some soothing balm for your eyes, courtesy of today’s birthday lady/fashion icon Bai Ling!!!

Aaaannnnd all Halloween costume contests have just been canceled since no one can top this piece de resistance.

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Not even that cuntbeast Covid can hold back a style goddess!

You may be thinking: there’s more class and fabric in a G-string than what Bai is wearing above. Oh, puh-lease. That G-string would plead and beg to be worn by Miss Ling so it can be seen and be part of fashion history. And I’d bemoan over why Bai has never been on the cover of Vogue and Bazaar, but given some of the no-talent, empty-eyed trash heaps they’ve shamefully given covers to in the past, those rags don’t deserve her greatness!

Happy birthday, Bai!

My Kind of Makeup Review

I recently bought a tube of Maybelline’s Super Stay Matte Ink because I heard it was near transfer-proof for mask-wearing. I tried it and, to my surprise, they weren’t lying! But after reading this Ulta review, I found out the lippie also happens to be blowjob-proof!

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That the review is also the “Most Helpful” out of the product’s near-5000 reviews shows that “Ilikequeso” speaks the truth! Once this Covid thing blows over (I refuse to get my freak on with others during this time ’cause you never know who may be lying), I hope to put that experiment to the test! (So, likely in 2022 then. *sad face*)

Farewell, Eddie

old school eddie van halen

Pic courtesy of this post

Tuesday was already a day to forget (for me, anyway) and then I hear of this. Awful way to go, but at least he’s now free of pain and at peace.

Even if you weren’t into rock music, if you knew his name, you knew he was a legend.

*sighs* Two of my favorite songs for parties, road trips, and strip clubs. (Although I’ve yet to see a stripper master the latter song.)

And for those who have a fetish for guitar solos, this will make you climax on the spot.

RIP and thanks for all the rad music, Eddie.

And you know he’s gonna enter the pearly gates of heaven like this.

guitar slide

Viva La Bellucci

I was gonna post an extensive recap on the recent episode of “This Day in Fuckery”. (It’s on the Real Life Channel and you’re also subscribed to it until you die.) But! I checked out today’s celebrity birthdays, and seeing Monica Bellucci on today’s birthday list made me forget about the nonsense I was about to write in said recap. 

In honor of this goddess’ cake day, here’s a clip of her artfully stripteasing her way into her birthday suit! After yesterday and the junk I saw today, my Bi ass needed some balm for the eyes. I’d bitch about the lack of views this vid has, but I’m guessing that it originally had millions and millions of views, yet those devices must’ve exploded from displaying the searing hotness of La Bellucci, and thus reducing the view count. 

Weekend Jams

When my distressed soul needs to be uplifted, these are some of the songs I turn to…

This is not just a vogue-able, early 90s club classic. The lyrics can speak to what’s happening today: “…Follow me/Why don’t you follow me/To a place/Where we can be free/Come with me/Over there/Let’s put an end to racial hatred/And there’s love to share/Can you feel it/It’s in the air/Know its time for changes/Time for us to care…” Another coincidence: this jam dropped in 1992, which was also a tumultuous year, socially and politically. (Though I’d rather take living in ’92 than this year for many reasons.) 

I’m a sucker for strong vocals paired with a melody that takes me to dance paradise. I’m aware of the original version, but this was the first version I heard and it remains my favorite. The lyrics are equally inspiring. You have to be pulse-less if you can’t feel a thing when Martha heavenly belts, Nobody’s gonna take my pride, I won’t stop, I will not–be deniiiiiiied!” 

Who knew that Queen Aretha can also cut a dance track? It’s in the same vein as “Carry On”, with fierce vocals, stirring lyrics, and a fabulous dance beat, although I’m not sure which song came first. Ah, they’re both the tits. And this video will send you to flat-top heaven.