Serve Face, Spongebob Style!

Leave it to Wet-N-Wild Beauty (makers of my favorite contour palette) to take me away from the dreary news of today and deliver a palette cleanser of a collab that sings to the Bikini Bottom resident in me: Spongebob Squarepants-themed makeup! Yes, something like this has been done before, but maybe it’s fitting that a brand called “Wet-N-Wild” nail the collab. ‘Cause, you know, “wet” being the environment Spongebob lives in, and “wild” being Spongebob and his boating skills. (I know–I’m putting too much into this.) Finally, those Spongebob-themed Makeup Erasers have met their match! And I never knew I wanted a Spongebob glow-up and Squidward’s resting bitch face blending my makeup until now.

But wait! Where is the Coral Blue #2 semi gloss lipstick?! (Why are there no lippies here, by the way?) And a blush called Sandy Cheeks? Missed opportunities there, Wet-N-Wild.

Just Bask In All The Glam

Happy 20th anniversary to this fantabulous masterpiece that was released in the spring of 2001. Sheeit, I remember the uproar from some of the pearl-clutchers back then who thought the video was too raunchy. Oh, if those prudes saw the gimcrackery you see and hear from, um, music these days. Meanwhile, teen me spent many afternoons on her own trying to nail down Xtina’s part, but all I did was startle my cat (RIP Snowball) and attack nearby eardrums when I attempted to do so. I was better off doing Missy’s part instead–all three seconds of it.

Also, look–no mumbling, no twerking, no mopey faces or overinflated asses! Just a fun and well-crafted pop song (yes, I’m aware it’s a remake) with confident women hitting all the right notes, and a memorable video to go with it. Now that’s how pop music should be done.

And Now For Some Sweet Shade

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That panty creamer above is NHL hockey superstar Sidney Crosby, whose hotness alone has caused my basement to be flooded many times since I first knew of him 12 years ago. Yeah, he’s also good at the stick-and-puck thing, but I never knew he could be a little shady. Some lesser in the hockey world had the nerve to drag him recently, and a reporter for the Penguins (Sid’s team) picked up this quote from Sid himself who addressed the beef:

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Sid had the opportunity to go full-on Mariah or the Patrick Roy way on that guy, but he’s not really known for being a shady ho. A scoring ho, yes. Nonetheless, it gets a solid 4 out of 5 on the Shade Scale. Tell it, Sidney! *snaps fingers*

Brava, Oakland

With the start of the new baseball season comes THE moment we–or at least me, have all been waiting for!!

Like the happy purr of a kitten or the loud thud when Justin Bieber eats floor, the sounds of boos and trash-can banging raining down on a squad of cheaters (who, by the way, still have never been suspended a single game for cheating) is so aurally pleasing.

That final score from that game, tho. (Although I shouldn’t throw stones, given what my team did last night. Ick.)

A Gorgeous And Poetic Start

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No April Fools joke–that April 2021 cover of UK Vogue is giving me LIFE. (There are three other covers for their April issue, all of them equally vibrant.) That’s the magic of Meisel, who shot the covers and is giving me 1960s-era Avedon vibes with the image. Also, OMG a smiling woman with life in her eyes on the cover! Bored faces and drowsy eyes be damned! Why US Vogue isn’t fashun as their UK sister is not a mystery: that out-of-touch fossil Anna Wintour is still its cryptkeeper-in-chief. 

It’s also the start of the baseball season and National Poetry Month. I’d post a baseball poem, but they all bored me and these lines from the OG Queen of Quip Dorothy Parker was hard to pass up. 

That’s right! 

 

My Butterfly Rainbow Hello Kitty Chanteuse!

I needed some eye balm after reading up on Jessica Walter and Beverly Cleary leaving this increasingly-cruel world for heavenly pastures, thus the header pic of today’s birthday queen Mariah Carey. You can say it’s an old pic of her, but you’d be wrong! That’s her, present-day, without a single bit of plastic surgery and photoshop on her. She doesn’t do any of that, sillys! 

It’s also the weekend (also known as two more work days for me), so enjoy some semi-underrated Mimi songs. I know I will! 

 

By the way, if I ever ditch my red hair, it will be for that fabulous shade of light golden brown-blonde like Mimi’s in that Roof video. That hair color is so late 90s, so of course the 90s slut in me adores it. 

Header pic courtesy of dlisted

The Travel Slut Diaries: Snow!!!

Happy 1st Day of Spring. Let’s talk snow!

A couple days ago, my phone pushed some notification showing me where I was two years ago. My stalker phone is such a creep! It showed that I visited the Sierras then. What was I doing there? I wanted to see snow, of course!

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At the time, I lived a little “closer” to the Sierras. Like, 116 miles closer to snow land, and in an area where snow never falls in the winter. (The Bay Area and most of CA have a different set of seasons than other regions.) Once in a while, I’d be itching to go have some real winter fun and enjoy some snow. Rainy winters are a bore–happens every winter here–and it’s no fun making mud angels (not even when you’re stoned–I tried).

I drove up to the Sierras on a day where it wouldn’t be too cold (haha on me–it was still colder than I thought) and I wouldn’t need tire chains. As I trekked up Highway 80, I’d see the elevation rise and the outdoor temperature drop. For a while I didn’t see any snow. Only until I reached Blue Canyon did I hit pay dirt snow!

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Prior to this trip, the last time I got to see snow was in that wretched year known as 2016. I savored playing in that snow like I was a kid all over again. I avoided licking posts, of course.

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A little snow cave! Those chairs were chillin’–literally! Spotted at the Sierra Woods Lodge. 

The sights were also enchanting!

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Side note: I risked my shit by taking this pic with my clunky camera while driving. There is a stretch of Hwy 80 where you see this gorgeous mountain range in full view, and I did not want to pass up capturing this image! 

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I live a lot further from the Sierras now, which is one reason why I haven’t driven up there since. I can see some snow on the tips of Mt. Diablo from home when it gets really cold here. I’m still a warm weather chick and there’s no way I’d want to live in or even near a snowy region full-time. Snow’s a welcome change of scenery, nonetheless.

And some of you may be thinking that a day in the snow is nothing special, because you live it every day when it’s effing cold. I got news for you: I don’t get this privilege! Not even every year! And I have to drive far and risk icy roads for it!

My Kind Of Eye Bleach

After straining my eyes from digging up all those links in my last rant, looking at my bank account to see if I got my stimulus payment (which I did not), and seeing more posts on despicable violence against Asians (just…why?) and another mention of my state governor being “recalled” (it’s not gonna happen, idiots), I need eye bleach. Some turn to adorable animals, but I’m feeling for vintage HIGH GLAMOUR. Enter the work of Mario Casilli!

It’s currently a cool 61 degrees where I live, and these images alone have me fanning myself. I LIVE for that campy 80s glamour, and Casilli captured it brilliantly.

All pics courtesy of this site that will bombard you with captures of vintage fabulousness. 

Luck Of My Tummy

It’s Hump Day, and it’s also St. Patrick’s Day. I’m not a tenth Irish, but I’m sure I slept with someone of Irish descent in the past. So how did I celebrate this day? With the best thing to celebrate a holiday (besides gifts): FOOD! In this case, most of it homemade.

I planned on making a St. Patty’s Day feast for one. Bought my corned beef, the veggies to cook with the corned beef…and that was it. I didn’t need to have the whole she-bang and get other foods like Irish Bangers and stuff to make Shepherd’s Pie. But it was only until late last night after all the grocery stores closed did I realize two things: I also wanted Irish soda bread, and I found out that Krispy Kreme was giving away free green donuts to anyone wearing green. Wednesdays are usually stay-at-home days for me, but I was not going to pass up the offer of getting me a free green donut!

First, though, the Irish soda bread. I saw it going for $4 at Trader Joe’s, and I initially kicked myself for not buying it yesterday. Then I saw a recipe for it. *gasp* I have all those ingredients! I can make it at home! Four bucks saved! And, best of all, it’s a simple dump-and-stir-and-knead recipe. (I get bummed when I see a recipe that requires a stand-alone mixer, as I don’t have one of those things.) Making dat bread was the first thing I did after getting out of bed this morning.

The before pic of the dough…

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And after! This was also my first time making Irish soda bread, and I’m quite impressed with how it turned out.

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Butter this hot slice up! 

Lunch was corned beef with the fixins. Making corned beef was another first for me, unless you count the many times I cooked this version of corned beef in the past. (Hey, that’s some good shit. Still can’t stand the way to open the can, though.) No online recipe this time–I just followed the package instructions. The meat turned out fine, but, in a first for me, a large, warm, juicy, light pink slab didn’t look appealing to me. I wanted to brown that baby. A few minutes of searing it plus some extra salt and pepper and it was lookin’ good (to go in my stomach).

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My St. Patty’s Day bowl! I actually had more bread than pictured (duh). If you’re wondering where the Guinness is at, I worked out before this meal, and I don’t drink alcohol after a workout. That’s how I roll. Plus, I don’t have any Guinness at home.

About those green donuts: I got my freebie! It pays to have some green-colored clothes. I also bought a few more, and the server was nice enough to throw in a free cinnamon sugar donut when they ran out of cake batter donuts. That’s two free donuts!

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Forget recycling and reusing bags–this is THE way to go green! I also like how the frosting of the bottom left donut makes it look marbled. That work of donut art is currently being processed by my digestive system as I type.