Just A Couple Things…

Since baseball ain’t coming back for a long while (thank its tyrant commish who you better not speak ill of), I would like to propose a new sport to temporarily take its place: Nad-Kicking. It will involve anyone fed up with overprivileged, unvaccinated athletes kicking the nads of said overprivileged, unvaccinated athletes (see Novax Joke-ovic and Kyrie Irving) and those enabling them. There won’t be any points or playoff rounds or a fancy trophy in the end, but whichever athlete ends up changing their minds and gets their shots after a nad-kicking session gets eliminated from the tournament. Which is a good thing for them and their baby-makers. Since I proposed this idea, I call Commissioner’s spot! 

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Can this day please be normal? No godawful terrorist attack anywhere, or a disaster or death of a likable celebrity for today. Besides, it’s the born day of mah boo Irina…

*cleans up drool* …and she deserves a peaceful and oh so smoldering wicked hot as f–I mean, fun birthday today. 

IJS

IJS

It’s the end of the year and I’m just saying…

–I’d rather take a genuine bitch than a two-faced twunt. (Side note: “bitch” and “twunt” and even “Karen” are gender-neutral in my book. Men, women, and enbys can be bitches and twunts. It’s all about being inclusive!)

–If one can afford $150 for an hour massage, they can most certainly afford to tip their therapist. (That’s why I automatically add gratuity to the total costs in my private practice.)

–Never trust a so-called man who constantly refer women as “females”.

About niceness

–Someone could be known as the “nicest person on the planet”, but if they’re not following something simple yet important like pandemic rules (aka wearing masks & social distancing around strangers and avoiding mask-less parties during said pandemic), then fuck that “nicest person” shit. That’s being inconsiderate of them, and last time I checked, “inconsiderate” is a synonym for rude asshole.

–Speaking of which, how on effing earth does someone remember a dead person as the “nicest person ever” who “is now in Heaven” when said dead person was an awful bellend in life?! Surely heaven has some standards.

–I’ve become so leery of celebs these days that whenever there’s a media deluge of how “nice” or “awesome” a certain celeb is, chances are that celeb’s got a bunch of bodies buried in their backyard. Double that if it’s the same damn stories I’ve heard so many times before. And bless the ones who keep falling for that shit.

–It’s not “entertainment” nor “news” if irrelevant reality show losers and “influencers” make headlines on so-called entertainment news sites. Yet another reason why pop culture these days is not fun and genuine anymore.

–If more people paid attention to the Kylie that has talent, style, grace, beauty, and fabulousness instead of that other one who got famous because her half-sister was in a yawner of a sex tape, the world would be a slightly better place!

–Never ever trust a website that doesn’t allow their users to curse or even write out “sex” in their posts (I know, bizarre AF!), but allows them to freely spread Covid misinformation. I’d mention the site here but I’d rather not give them any shine. (You would too if you knew of this site.) All I can say is that almost all of their users are obsessive, psychotic liars, to say the least.

–That eBay only allows buyers to leave negative feedback to bad sellers but doesn’t allow sellers to do the same for bad buyers is un-fucking-fair. I sell stuff on eBay to the side, and had a non-paying buyer recently. It’s foolish that I’m unable to let other sellers know about a problematic buyer via feedback. Revise that rule, eBay!

–Athletes who keep thanking God every time they win need to also blame God when they lose. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, y’know.

–Crypto.com Arena is the stupidest venue name out there. Staples Center forever!

–Season 7 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, as maligned as it’s been by others, and despite some of its dubious challenges and edits, is still one of my favorite seasons. It was also the season that gave us IJS! (see GIF)

–Anyone who says that the 80s and 90s had the “worst-ever” music is also not to be trusted at all, is likely a youth raised on shallow, autotuned trash, and needs to enter therapy last week.

–Any Reddit poster who constantly trashes the old generations (Boomer or X) while claiming they’re from one of those old generations…is likely a Gen-Z’er karma-whoring.

–Cats rule. But they can also be bitches. Source: am a former cat owner. I’d be a current cat owner, but my apartment doesn’t allow cats or any other pets except service animals. *weeps*

Boo This Cold

Weather, I mean. I don’t have a cold, thankfully. 

I should be celebrating the Winter Solstice today. But after the cold-ass weather we in the East Bay Area have had the past week or so, I’m not enthused over celebrating anything cold weather-related. I felt like winter already started days ago when our lows dropped to the 30s and it felt like my nips would freeze off whenever I stepped outside. Of course, those in places who get snow and single digit temps daily see the temps here and think we got it made, but I don’t think so and it’s still too damn cold for me! And, yes, I can hear your snickering, Northeasterners. 

Times like this I wish I could be in the Southern Hemisphere where they’re having Summer Solstice. One day, preferably when Covid gets tamed (suuure it will), I’d love to celebrate Christmas Aussie-style like those guys in that pic, use my fan as an Xmas tree, and open presents in 90-degree weather. Sure I can go to a beach in SF and wear a holiday-themed swimsuit and make sandmen while risking getting a real cold. But it’s gonna rain the rest of the week and my sandman won’t even hold up. Boooooo. 

Pic courtesy of this site

 

 

Stupid Stupid Stupid

Probably the stupidest thing I’ve read today! And that’s saying a lot considering I first saw this on Reddit, where there’s always a lot of dumbass crap that gets posted.

Famous anti-vaxxer, flat-earther, savior to the anti-vaxxers, and nutjob extraordinaire Kyrie Irving gets brought back to play, with no mask being worn, in packed arenas where some if not many are going maskless, at a time when Covid cases are rising yet again in the NBA and the general public.

There may be vaccines against Covid (you know, that thing that Irving just cannot with), but there REALLY needs to be vaccines against stupidity, ignorance, and selfishness.

Come on, clown league NBA, backtrack this shit.

***Update 12/18: and sometimes the trash takes itself out LMAO

Oh Honey, Noooo

oh britney why

This is trivial shit, but 1) what else do you expect from me, and 2) anything to take my mind away from this country’s broken AF judicial system.

I should be glad that I get to actually relive the 2000s again, albeit for a hot minute, since Britney chose to dust off the cobwebs and restart the media-driven feud (let’s call it what it is) with Christina with her post above. But I’m not and for a few reasons. Did Brit-Brit (assuming she wrote that post) really have to go down that route? Did she ever see the support Christina gave her while she was under slavery her conservatorship this summer? And does she not know that Christina was pressed for time on the red carpet and thus could only say as much as she could? It’s not like she was doing a sit-down interview with Kelly Clarkson.

I realize Britney is just coming off that conservatorship and is adjusting to living life her way again. But! Someone needs to tell her that it’s not the 2000s anymore when online users were unable to pull the receipts that disprove her claims, and when it was de rigueur for the media to tear down Christina for breathing. *waves at all the media outlets who called her “trash” and a “skank” during her Stripped days while, at the same time, they treated Britney with kid gloves when she took up smoking and hooked up with Fred Durst (whyyyyy) and former HoWood superslut Colin Farrell* Besides, if there’s one person that Britney should aim her wrath at (besides her dad, the rest of her family, and that despicable ex-manager of hers), it should be Justin Timberfake. From “Cry Me A River” to being an overall douche, I just wanna see her kick his ass.

The Very Last Hurdle

***NOTE: this was supposed to have been posted yesterday but I forgot to switch the visibility from “Private” to “Public”. Derp. 

When you’re all ready to self-publish your first-ever book and then you read about ISBN numbers and that it’s actually better to buy them instead of getting a free one from eBook publishing sites, but then you see the costs of getting them and, of course, your budget happens to be tight right now…

giphy

For me, I’d rather be the publisher of my work instead of that blasted rainforest or any other company. What’s the point of self-publishing if you’re gonna allow another company be listed as the publisher, after all the hard work you’ve put into your book?

Well, guess I better dust off the hooker wear.

Bull Shirt!

In honor of Scorpio season, here’s this “Scorpio” shirt I got for $4 at Ross years ago that had never been worn and had been in storage until a few days ago. I’d wear it, but those traits…Loving? Sensitive? Who does that designer think we are, Pisces? About the only thing correct on that shirt are the dates of Scorpio, although that’s debatable, too.

Maybe the designer meant to add the following:

It’s Hard To Stay “Quiet” While I’m Fulfilling My Raging Sexual Urges

“Loving” Myself The Most Because I Da Best Fuck Everyone Else

I’m “Psychic”; I Predict I’m Going To Ignore Your Ass

In”Sensitive”

I’m A “Deep Thinker” When It Comes To Plotting Revenge Against Bitches Who Did Me Wrong

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Besides, real Scorpios would never wear a shirt saying that they’re Scorpios. We don’t want strangers knowing what our sign is right off the bat!

And On Sunday I Laugh

Screen Shot 2021-10-24 at 1.56.10 AM

Highest payroll in the league and they had all the so-called “baseball experts” and national jokes, I mean, broadcasters rimming them out left and right, and all the Bums have to show for it is, well…nothing, actually. No NL West title (that’s the Giants’), no NL Pennant (that’s now the Braves’, and huge congrats to them!), and, most importantly, no World Series title (let alone appearance) this year. It bears repeating: no World Series title (let alone appearance) this year for the Dodgers. 

Best of luck to the throat doctors who will be taking care of the ESPN baseball heads and the TBS announcers after their endless deep-throating they’ve given the Bums (who also had some woman-beaters on their team) this year. You know those doctors deserve to get paid Dodger money while inspecting those windpipes that I’m sure will have remnants of Walker Buehler’s spooge and the tangerine-hued pubes of Justin Turner. You’re welcome for that visual. 

Finally, “grueling season”…*snorts* You mean a regular, 162-game season, Plaschke? A regular season where that team spent bajillions to acquire all the bats to catch up with the Giants and came up one game short of winning your division? A regular season that the Bums still have yet to fully win a ring in since–wait for it…….1988? A regular season that your orange-and-black rivals have won three times in back in the 2010s? So much for that greatest team ever in baseball history! 

And just like that, this mint in my mouth tastes even mintier. Mmm. 

 

Screenshot courtesy of LA Times homepage

 

Current Mood

Welp. My Giants’ otherwise memorable season just had to end so soon. On a shit call (out of many shit calls today) by a shit ump, I must add.

I was prepared for the worst, however. If it wasn’t for having Married With Children on my TV (I got all the episodes on DVD and yes I still watch some shows on DVD) while listening to the KNBR broadcast of the Giants game (because TBS stands for “The Biased SlutsForDodgers”), I would’ve been crying over this loss. Oh, who am I kidding–I don’t cry for any favorite sports team when it comes to playoff shit. My all-time favorite sitcom softened the blow and I just watched Marcy strip in front of Steve to make him to shave off his beard that she hates. Bahahahaha ah fuck.

Also, thank goodness for hockey.

Edit to add: realizing that the Houston Asterisks, who still have never been reprimanded over their cheating ways, got to advance over the Giants (who had never cheated for their World Series wins, need I remind y’all) and being reminded how much the Bums overpaid for players to join their team and now my mood is this:

Yeah, thank goodness for hockey. And weed.

The Withdrawal

Me after going without two of my vices, crunchy foods and weed, for 15 days because of my wisdom teeth yoinking:

it's day 15!!

Oh jiminy criminy, it blows to go without those two for so long. I actually can do without weed for a bit (shocker, I know), but I feel like I need to reward myself with a little toke for resisting the urge to stuff my mouth with some greasy chips all this time. I got advised by my oral surgeon doctor dude to refrain from crunchy foods and anything that would cause dry mouth (like weed *sobs*) for at least a month after my surgery. Normally, I like to bend some rules, but I also read about dry socket and, like me whenever I see candy corn or edamame anything, I’m all, “not in my mouth!” I can’t be kept away from my cereal, though. I let it get soggy before I eat it, so ha!