UPDATE 6/28/22: this was meant to have been published the night of June 23rd, but I wasn’t able to. I thought I’d post this on 6/24, and then it became the crappiest Friday I’ve lived through so far. So here’s the original post, five days after it was supposed to go live.
I didn’t watch the NBA Draft but I’m soooo here for the lewks of top draft pick Paolo Banchero and #17th draftee Tari Eason. Paolo is serving up a getup that Prince maybe would approve (dude needs more eyeliner, frilly ruffles in his shirt, and switch out the shoes for fuck-me boots), and Tari is giving me secret service protection from getting shot and pinched on St. Patrick’s Day realness.
Hero Parent Worship Season is over, but now we’ve entered the season of fireworks going off for no good reason at 2AM, preventable heat stroke cases skyrocketing up the ass (hydrate, bitches!), and stores oblivious to the ongoing woes of this godforsaken country audaciously marketing red, white, and blue nonsense up front whilst all the “love-is-love” rainbowed merchandise for this very Pride month is modestly displayed somewhere in the back. *cough*HomeGoods*cough*
An unhinged bitch keeps on being an unhinged bitch, a popular soccer player is off the hook after admitting rape, and both still aren’t (and likely won’t be) getting the same amount of vitriol and unflattering memes on them as social media’s reigning “public enemy #1”. Gee, I wonder why.
An underrated tragedy: abused women, who have harassed and denied the truth of another abused woman, who aren’t being believed when they share their own stories. Something something leopards ate their faces.
By the way, why on earth are they called Men’s Rights Activists? Those types tend to be pathetic-defining, empathy-exempt, missed abortions who need to touch grass last week aka incels, and actual real men wouldn’t be part of such a foul group. How about calling them Assholes’ Rights Activists instead? The ones who default to the dumbass notion that all “men” are perfect angels no matter what, and strong, independent women are more evil than Hitler. They’re an ARA! Don’t be one or support one, either.
Damn Fool alert: seeing a CA resident with a CA license plate with a bumper sticker saying how our governor sucks. Bruh, if you don’t like him, I’m sure there are other states that have your dream governor. Like Florida or Texas. (Types with that bumper sticker tend to lean on that side of the political spectrum, sadly.)
Never ever trust a gossip site that refers TikTokkers as “stars” *gags*, fosters comments from Q-nuts, and bans commenters who dare speak out against a site moderator’s fave celeb.
Also, never trust a frequent Reddit poster who says things (or makes low-effort memes) about their “wife” or “girlfriend”. It’s a Reddit poster; they’re likely 15, a try-hard virgin (a try-hard is far worse than a virgin, by the way), who can never leave the house outside of school and is too shy to speak to anyone while at school, thus can never get a girl.
And speaking of Reddit (I know), Internet Comment Of The Day! (And there’s more gold in that thread! The comments there are giving me vintage Dlisted vibes, and I am here for it.)