Pouring One Out For Fry’s

a fry's store

It’s the end of an era, y’all. If you walked into a Fry’s Electronics recently, its sales floor of near-empty shelves and totally-absent helpful customer service was, without question, the clear winner in the Bleak AF Retail Store Pageant (with Sears as the close runner-up, of course). But if you remember shopping there during Fry’s heyday back in the 2000s and early 2010s, you remember the good times. Electronics galore to make a tech whore cream, their mini home theater rooms where couples would makeout while some movie played IMAX-level loud, their actual good deals (I scored a 1TB internal hard drive there for $50 years ago, and that was super-cheap compared to the going prices of such items then), and, in certain cities, their quirky storefronts! (Pictured above is their San Jose location.) Basic-ass Best Buy could never do cool shit like this. 

It was also the only retail store where you can pick up a MacBook, a Blackberry Curve, and “Busty Brunettes #3” all at the same time, thanks to their oh-so subtle Adults Only section. (And, no, I wasn’t reading my Fry’s receipt from the Concord location back in June 2007, I swear.) 

another-proud-employee-of-frys-electronics

Look at that–even in the porno section, there’s an employee who proudly merchandises the area. I should’ve put that “fast, friendly, courteous service” to the test and asked whoever managed the pornos, “what’s the better recommendation for a dateless ho like me: Black In My Crack or Weapons of Ass Destruction?”

You will be sorely missed, Fry’s. But can you stay open for just an hour longer before joining Sports Authority and Toys R Us in Retail Store Heaven? I gotta see if you got some cameras for cheap. Better if they got that “Reduced Price” sticker on the box! (I lived for their “Reduced Price” items.) 

Farewell, Hammerin’ Hank

I know I’m over a day late in this (I had to deal with some unexpected shit yesterday when the news broke), but better late than never when it comes to paying respects to Hall of Famer, baseball/sports legend, and civil rights advocate Hank Aaron.

Ryan S. Clark of The Athletic and his take on Aaron’s career and legacy is miles better than what I would’ve said (because, I’ll admit, I haven’t fully followed his story outside his home run milestone):

…Many of us never saw Aaron hit a home run in person. We did not need to see that to fully appreciate and understand his legacy. Aaron was a Black man who made people feel threatened as he closed in on surpassing the shiny piece of Americana who was Babe Ruth as the greatest to ever hit a baseball over a fence. It all comes back to the fact that Aaron was unfairly vilified for simply living and working while Black, something that still goes on today…

…Hank Aaron had to be perfect. He had to do everything right with the idea that for some, he’d still be in the wrong. Even with that, there was a regality to his approach. It was knowing he always had to be “on” even when he had every right to not be. Yes, we celebrate the records and winning, but it was his dignity that made him so inspiring…You think, “He dealt with so much worse and did it with strength. Why can’t I?”…

Keep hammering those homers in heaven, Hank! You will be sorely missed.

An Iconic Figure In Television History

“Who Is Jeopardy host Alex Trebek?”

*sighs* Jeopardy will never be the same without him. That he kept working on the show while battling that eternal bitch-ass cancer showed his fortitude, and I never heard a bad or scandalous word said about him. One of the few truly good ones in entertainment, finally free from his pain. 

Rest well, Mr. Trebek. 

Pic courtesy of Vanity Fair

Farewell, Eddie

old school eddie van halen

Pic courtesy of this post

Tuesday was already a day to forget (for me, anyway) and then I hear of this. Awful way to go, but at least he’s now free of pain and at peace.

Even if you weren’t into rock music, if you knew his name, you knew he was a legend.

*sighs* Two of my favorite songs for parties, road trips, and strip clubs. (Although I’ve yet to see a stripper master the latter song.)

And for those who have a fetish for guitar solos, this will make you climax on the spot.

RIP and thanks for all the rad music, Eddie.

And you know he’s gonna enter the pearly gates of heaven like this.

guitar slide

A Total Heartbreaker

This news was just unexpected. And it had to happen on Jackie Robinson Day in the MLB, of all days.

I am stunned and saddened. That he had the career he had in the years he also had to battle cancer (which I didn’t know he had) made him all the more a remarkable human being. It’s easy to say “fuck cancer and what the fucking 2020–can you take away someone who deserves it instead?!” But it should also be realized that while 2020 and the awful times happening right now will eventually come to an end, Wakanda is forever.

Rest In Peace, Chadwick. I always thought he was a good man and quite handsome. Heaven just got a little more charming and lovely today.

Farewell To A Legend

olivia de havilland

Nooooooooooooo!!!! And she just celebrated her birthday weeks ago!! 😦

Rest In Peace to Dame Olivia de Havilland (1916-2020). One of the last true luminaries of the Golden Age of Hollywood! From her two Oscar wins, taking on Warner Bros in court (and winning her case and thus getting a law named after her), to getting blacklisted in the industry (thanks, Warner Bros!) and her famous feud with sister Joan (which has likely resumed in heaven, much to the delight of the catfight enthusiasts up there), she lived one helluva life. You will be sorely missed, Melanie!

OK, 2020, can you start taking away some heathens that deserve it?

Top pic courtesy of Entertainment Weekly