Sunday Hotness

sid says it's big

I haven’t had any eye candy here in what feels like ages, so here are today’s birthday beings of pure hotness Charlize Theron and Sidney Crosby to make up for it! (I sadly couldn’t find a good full-body GIF of Sid, which is a shame because if you’ve seen his body-ody-ody and dat ass of his…And, yes, I be thirstin’ everyday so don’t be surprised.)

And if you’re wondering what Sid’s talking about in the last GIF…well, I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

A Wholesome Start To August

This shit blew up over the weekend and I must say: fans of the oh-so innocent southern gentleman really crowdfunded $3K of their own money to access court documents in an attempt to further humiliate his ex-wife…only to publicly humiliate their saintly idol in soooo many, many ways. (Do I smell another lawsuit coming from the Derp camp?)

I’ll just keep it classy here.

And I think this ignorant AF trash (liked by Florence Pugh, whoever she is–I don’t really bother with Gen Z’s “stars”, but her name pops up in the gossip sites I read) needs to be revised last month. Greg (whoever he is, too) really should know that while you can’t keep a real good man down, an awful man just can’t stay up.

Bonus: reactions from the shipwreck

Deep Dives Are Hot

For those who have this weekend off, I don’t like you if you’re bored and *insert your vice(s) here* is getting old hat, do what I did last night when I should’ve been coming up with plotlines for my current literary-work-in-progress: read celebrity-influenced deep dives!

A few good reads:

Vanity Fair‘s “When Liz Met Dick”. Still one of my favorite VF articles evah!

Not really a deep dive, but this 1994 piece on Chloe Sevigny from the New Yorker still deserves your undivided attention. No spoilers but she doesn’t like your faves.

Further proof that every psycho’s favorite pirate is a complete abusive asshole. Side note: anyone who’s still “both-sides”-ing that case, even after more receipts proving JD wrong has been released (just read that sub where that link came from), is just foolishly covering up their ignorance and misogyny.

Don’t Mess With Jess: A Two-Part Drama-And-Delusion-Filled Miniseries! Lordt, that story really took me down the rabbit hole!

Finally, for those who loathe those talent-exempt Hobbits as much as I do.

Bonus link to a list of more links to some interesting HoWood articles (which also show that there was a time when celeb profiles were intriguing and not word salad-ridden and PR fluff-filled like the ones you see today)

So much tea, honey!

THE Album Review Of The Year

Which can also be used as a definition of “how to read an awful ho to filth”:

album review pt 1

album review pt 3

album review pt 2 (crop)

The rest of that gem of a review can be found here. Oh, the shaaaaade that came from it. “It sounds like it was written by an incel.” “He has a voice for acting.” “The best bits…are the instrumentals.” And that very last line…

Reading sure is fundamental, and that album review is right up there with this zero-stars beatdown of Fist Brown. Ladies and gents, the library is closed, the mic has dropped, the bitch got dragged, and nature is starting to heal.

Hump Day Eye Balm

Today at work, I witnessed this elderly client with blue legs be grouchy to a coworker of mine, only for her to injure herself with her walker (don’t ask how) to where she ends up yelling throughout the spa. The sight was as pretty as some cheapo tipping me a dollar for a $130 massage.

ezgif.com-gif-maker (1)

So when I saw this pic of a new-and-improved Frankie Grande Ryan Gosling as Ken in the upcoming Barbie movie on some gossip subReddit, three things. 1) There’s a Barbie movie being made?! 2) You gotta admire Gosling for taking a role where he plays a guy without any genitals. And 3) After what happened at work today and the shit I witnessed the past half-month, who knew that one pic would serve as refreshing, bronzer-laden eye balm?

Pic came from here

A sAiNt’s Influence (And An Apology)

Instead of more actual male victims of domestic violence coming out with their own stories in the aftermath of the Heard-Depp one-sided pony show trial (because the trial was supposed to be about male domestic violence victims getting their justice, right?), THIS is one thing that comes from it: 

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‘The jury gave me my life back.’ ‘Truth never perishes.’ — Johnny Depp. I felt that! Congratulations to Johnny and his team on his defamation suit,” Rittenhouse tweeted

“Johnny Depp trial is just fueling me, you can fight back against the lies in the media, and you should!” Rittenhouse tweeted

This scab that walked scot-free from his vile actions being INFLUENCED by Depp and his “victory”. To all the supporters and stans of their precious Saint Depp, let that sink in. And bless that choad for thinking he’ll have a winning case, let alone a case. 

Oddly, I didn’t first discover this news on Reddit’s main News subReddit (which usually reports these things), but on a site for celeb gossip. Of course, you can Google Rottenhouse’s name and news articles on that will pop up, but that the rest of Reddit, which, just a month ago, was filled to the brim with trite AF “Johnny Good/Amber Turd EVIL” memes almost everywhere, hasn’t even brought it up is very telling. There’s plenty of articles and tweets calling out the recent gun massacres, but what about that gun-happy Rottenhouse being influenced by Depp? I sorted Reddit’s News page to “New” last night and earlier today, and as of 11:25PM PDT, there remains no mention of that. I wonder why. Meanwhile, that sub’s top-voted headline this year? You guessed it! Talk about a punk bitch move. Speaking of, let’s not forget all those dipshits who openly mocked Amber on their blogs/social media for those precious likes/views and attention during the trial, then 180 or go silent from their bullshit later like that Hasan who-dat. Trivial as it sounds, I’ve unsubscribed to some subReddits I once liked due to their stance on the trial and their obvious bot infestation pushing that played-out faux narrative. 

Continue reading “A sAiNt’s Influence (And An Apology)”

Yes And Yes

Finally, some actual sane takes on the Heard/Depp trial:

…If people can’t speak out about their experiences with abuse while granting their abusers anonymity, when can they speak at all?

Almost everything about this trial has been a keen reminder of the Bad Old Days. The days when a woman had to be a stoic and saintly image of victimhood in order to be believed. The days when a man’s appalling private behavior could be ignored by the masses because he was a beloved public figure. The days when it was acceptable to demonize and bully a woman because she said things about a famous man that the world would rather not hear. The days when bystanders pointing any of these things out online would earn them a swift and proverbial beatdown.

“This whole trial has been a depressing and demoralizing mess. It is a confirmation that we still live in a place where, when it comes to a complicated he-said-she-said, the winner will always be the one with the most power, the most fans, the most money to buy the best lawyers, and the biggest reserves of good old fashioned misogyny to deploy.

“Amber Heard and Johnny Depp both lost today. But it’s America that’s losing the most.”

From my local PBS station KQED, who did not disappoint! Glad to support them.

And…

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Tell it, Alex!