Succumbing To Low-Carb Madness

Since my last post, I missed some important stuff. I didn’t have time to give birthday wishes to two of my queens (like they’ll ever read it), do a farewell post to a fashion icon, or acknowledge that one day viewership spiked here. I know, pigs are flying now.

What I did have time while being swamped with busyness was succumbing to madness. No, I didn’t buy a Justin Bieber album; I would never go that far off the deep end. Yours Crazy has gone low-carb in her meals. Why, after all my past raves of sugary, starchy goodness? Because Yours Crazy also has some adipose her vain self needs to shed. After reading up on which, ugh………..diet (and now I feel icky for typing that out) can work for me, the low-carb, high-fat way sounded the most doable. I get to eat plenty of fats and some protein, but I needed to ditch my carb-heavy starches. You don’t know how much my stomach weeped when I did the latter. No, really, doing LCHF weirded my body out in the beginning. And I was only slowly getting into it; I could not quit carbs cold turkey.

I actually started this over a week ago, and transitioning into LCHF was a trip, but oooh the water weight I was losing. And the energy I was gaining! No lie or people paying me to say this shit–I felt more energetic since ditching high-carb foods. The fat I get to consume has also kept me full for hours on end; I don’t see the need to snack at times. And the Carb Manager app has come through for me.

However! Whenever I walk past the sections for fruits (yes, most fruits are now off-limits), candies, bread, and my beloved chips/crackers in any grocery nowadays, I’m all…

And I’m reaaally bright to start this shit right before Valentine’s Day–the other holiday besides Christmas where sweets and sugar get pimped out to the hilt. Avocado Gods, give me strength.

Hump Day Raves

Some crappy stuff may have happened recently, but so did some cool stuff. 

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Getting a new mani/pedi! It’s been ages since mah nails got fully pampered, and when I had someone else cut my toenails. The new spa I work at also offers nail services, and us workers get a sweet employee deal for manicures and pedicures. I had some free time after my shift, a nail tech had an opening in her schedule, and the chipped paint on my nails needed to go. I opted for gel polish so my shizz would stay on longer, and while the process took a little longer than expected, the finish was worth the time! 

I forgot the name of the polish used, though. It was from OPI and I’m guessing it could be this pretty thing. 

Free luxe makeup!! Two weeks ago, I finally received my order for Pat McGrath Labs (that I ordered back in early December), and, since I have all the luck in the world, my Celestial Divinity palette had a broken powder in it (it was that lovely green one at the bottom corner), and the rest of the powders got affected. I emailed PMG’s customer service, and they ended up offering me a free Celestial Divinity palette. A freebie! That baby is worth $78 (and is currently sold out), and the messed-up palette is actually still usable. Now I have two of them! *sniffles in joy* 

I’m a few days late in this, but I must give a shout-out to MJ Rodriguez for being the first transgendered actress to win a Golden Globe. Viva Blanca Evangelista! Now can Pose be brought back for just a couple more seasons, please? 

New Shizz

As I mentioned in my last post, yours truly got herself the following new shizz: 

A new phone! Unlike some people, my life doesn’t revolve around a cell phone. Nonetheless, I needed to upgrade from my basic Betty phone that was a temporary replacement for my Samsung Galaxy S10+ that broke on me a year ago. I thought I would be able to get some trade-in value for the broken S10+ when I took it to the Samsung store in Palo Alto on Black Friday weekend. I didn’t, but two cool things came out of that. 1) You can use a wired mouse to work your phone if the touchscreen is shot to hell. And 2) the store instead offered me a refurbished S21 Ultra 512GB for $20 less than the $1K price of a S21+ 128GB thanks to sweet discounts that took place when I bought that S21 Ultra. What, you think I was gonna turn a deal like that down? And how did I afford what could be the grandest phone I ever owned? All I’ll say is thank you, Affirm, for existing.  

By the way, that kitty!! So adorbs. 

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A new toaster oven! Why am I bothering with a new TO when I already have an oven built into the stove? Because that oven is too big to use for everyday warming/baking/toasting, and before you ask what about the microwave, I have a newsflash: my studio doesn’t have a microwave! There wasn’t one built in, nor have I bothered to buy one when I moved in almost two years ago. I felt like my old Oster TO was good enough to warm foods, and I stuck with it up until two weeks ago when it started to act wonky on me. You know you’ve owned something for so long when you don’t exactly remember how long you’ve owned it, which was the case of the Oster. Coincidentally, Cyber Monday deals were happening, and Macy’s was selling a Black & Decker TO + Air Fryer for a very good deal. That Black & Decker now sits in the same spot where the Oster was at. 

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I recently tried its air fryer and made falafel balls and patties (as seen above)–a food I usually prefer frying in oil. It actually turned out well. The TO got kind of noisy on the Air Fryer setting, but that’s the only quibble to making air-fried waistline expanders. It cooks, toasts, and warms my other chow well without any machine noise. I recommend! 

And, finally…

Honey, I needed it. It’s still in my line of work (massage) and I’ll only be working part-time there (“there” being a nice-ass local spa with probably the best kind of commute I could ever have) so I can have time to work on my private clientele on other days. I started my second day of training 14 hours ago, and I’ve been up since the buttcrack of dawn (my night owl self adjusting to a morning worm schedule has been tough), so I’m a little surprised I’m still able to type coherent sentences here. It’s not new shizz, but my tired ass could go for some sleep right now. 

Thanks And No Thanks

For this Turkey Day, instead of a pic of this year’s home-cooked feast that turned out…OK (more on this later), I must list the shit that I’ve been thankful and not so thankful for. Given how this year has turned out, I’m kind of surprised there have been some things I’m thankful for.

Bad stuff first.

*NOT Thankful For…*

–all the anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers still roaming around out there. Keep on fucking around; you’ll eventually find out.

–the one-percenters continuing to get richer. Guillotine when, dammit?

–our very, very dubious judicial system that allowed Pill Cosby to get out of jail, Orange Hitler to keep roaming around a free man dickwad, and this shit

–Game 5 of the NLDS (boooooooooo)

–the pumpkin pie recipe on the back of Trader Joe’s Organic Pumpkin Pie mix. Last year, my pie turned out lovely. But this year, I followed the TJs recipe, and here’s the result:

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It made my place smell nice during baking, but that was it. The taste was eh, and the middle was also runny. *sad face* Much disappointment, TJs. I’m following this recipe from now on!

–speaking of TJs, them not bringing back their Chocolate Pecan Pie Bar for the holidays. Booooooooo!!!

–obvious PR-concocted fluff pieces on so-called nice celebs who are bad twats behind closed doors (more on this in another post)

Now for the good shizz!

*Thankful For* 

–the scientists who created the Covid vaccines (it has to be said)

–me not catching Covid, even after returning to my massage job (and I hope I didn’t jinx myself with this)

my state’s rent relief program that helped my ass out

this verdict! (A sliver of hope from the courts. Now if the sentence can fit the crime…)

–Revlon’s Vixen nail polish. I feel fierce when I wear it, and it’s also a good dupe for Chanel’s Vamp

–me cooking a whole turkey and it turning out right. It’s been years since I cooked a whole turkey; I’ve been buying turkey breasts as they’re cheaper and easier to cook, but I couldn’t deny the 79-cents a pound sale Target had on whole birds. I followed this method, and wow did my meat taste so juicy and flavorful! (I will say that I didn’t have white wine, but I used ACV as a substitute.)

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The turkey looks nicer in person, trust. And, hey, the biscuits and stuffing also turned out well.

–me saving the last of my TJs Chocolate Pecan Pie Bar from last year. Kept it in the freezer for a year and it tasted better than this year’s pumpkin pie.

–those looooong BBC Essential Mixes from the 90s on YouTube, like the one below that lucky club-hoppers danced to 26 years ago this day. (I can’t forget it’s Throwback Thursday, even if it’s a holiday.) Now to dance away my Thanksgiving meal!

Posey Pride

posey_muscles!

This is SF Giants player/3X World Series champ/precious eye candy Buster Posey, who has just announced his retirement from the MLB. I’m gonna miss this man!

My Posey story: I attended the 2013 Giants Fanfest, and while walking around…wherever the hell I was (the basement floor that leads to the locker room, I guess?), I noticed this small entourage not too far behind me. In the middle was the man himself, surrounded by a couple of security dudes and other people. I don’t remember if I said anything to him, and I’m kind of surprised I didn’t turn into a puddle of panty pudding after seeing him in the flesh. What I do remember were the shrieks of Posey fans as he kept walking. Them girls were LOUD!

Meeting Posey

With a smile like the one he’s giving me here and there will be no dispute of that, can you blame those fangirls?

His retirement announcement was unexpected, and if only this year’s Giants were able to win at least one more ring for him. (Bitch-ass Dodgers!) But riding off into the sunset with accomplishments like his are nothing to scoff at.

Happy Trails, Posey! You will definitely be missed from the game.

And since it’s also Throwback Thursday, my absolute favorite highlight of his: the Buster Hugs!

Party Of One – The Sequel!

It’s my birthday, bitches! And while other born-day celebrants today would hit the clubs, a fancy restaurant, or have a house party thrown by friends, I was feeling spicy this year. I did laundry! I cleaned my floors! I cooked food! And before you snicker, one of my birthday traditions for the past eight years or so is not leaving home. At all. Even if I’m out-of-town and in my rental home or hotel room, I don’t go out. Why should I bother going out and possibly encountering assholes or shit situations that could likely ruin my special day? Plus, I normally do laundry and floor-cleaning on Saturdays. It’s a habit.

Birthday food! To the left is my birthday cake, which I got for half-off at Safeway a couple months ago. Hey, it held up well in the freezer the whole time. To the right is a pot of chicken bacon ranch mac & cheese–homemade, honey. I originally was going to order some mac & cheese from Homeroom (which used to have a chicken bacon ranch dish), but I know I can cook up a mean mac & cheese myself. And while the breadcrumbs didn’t toast as I wanted it to, the taste was divine. Fattening as hell, but divine. That dish was so good, I ended up making my birthday wishes on my mac & cheese instead of on the cake.

If you also want to fatten your butt like me, here’s the recipe for that. (The recipe doesn’t call for breadcrumbs, by the way; I just added it myself.)

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Birthday pampering, Part One! Y’all, I was feeling for something vampy this time around. I thought about getting Chanel’s “Vamp” with my Macy’s b-day coupon, but $18 for a small-ass bottle of nail polish plus having to wait for it since they don’t sell Chanel nail polish in Macy’s stores (not the ones near me) didn’t sit well with me. I found out that Revlon’s “Vixen” was a good dupe for “Vamp” and it was only $7. The color on dat thang! Unf. Also, my polish looks a lot more smoothed-out than it does in the pic there. I had just painted them.

As for presents, I may not have been gifted a filthy foursome with Irina Shayk, Aiden Turner, and Michael B. Jordan for tonight. Maybe next year. But Godiva cherry-filled chocolates and a free Replica fragrance sampler set from Sephora, among other gifts, is nothing to scoff at! Besides, until I get that foursome, the gift of your favorite baseball team winning the World Series right before your b-day is hard to top!

Now to treat mahself even more. I’m gonna online shop (Pat McGrath just had to start her Fall sale today) and play some games on the Wii. Aww yiss.

Tomorrow I go out and continue Part Two of my birthday pampering. Yours Oldly is getting herself a massage and some hot tub time at a spa. I am SO overdue for a massage. So my Halloween costume this year will be something rare–a relaxed and pampered woman. I’ll probably put on a robe, slippers, face cream, and cucumbers over my eyes for added effect.

Let’s Get Spooked

In honor of the two upcoming scary holidays, namely Halloween and the day I get another year closer to menopause, I’ve been binge-watching a childhood favorite show of mine: Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, whose very first episode, according to the Wiki, premiered on Nickelodeon as a Halloween special in—wait for it….1991! I don’t know if my attraction to spooky stuff had to do with being born before Halloween, but shows like AYAOFD, as well as R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps books and going to haunted houses in general excited me as a kid.

I’ve watched most of the episodes on that Top 10 list (I’ve yet to get to the late 90s episodes), and while the Top 4 are solid picks, naturally, there were a few that should’ve been on the list. No “The Tale Of The Hatching”? No “The Tale Of The Quicksilver”? Or “The Tale Of The Night Shift”? And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, get your ass to Paramount+ or buy the episodes on YouTube or Vudu and watch them all right now!

Happy Sluggish Monday

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This should be a Happy Monday post, since yesterday I got my Covid booster shot. (For the record, I was able to get the shot as I work in “healthcare”, and I thank my state’s massage board for classifying us massage therapists as “healthcare workers”.) But holy cow udders do I feel sluggish with a sore AF arm right now. Hmph, just like how I used to feel on Sundays back in the mid/late-2000s after partying the night before. I think I also lost the 10% off groceries coupon Safeway gave me as incentive. Guess this is the price I pay to get even more 5G pumped into me.

Happy Toothday!

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Here lies two wisdom teeth, which lived in the upper mouth of its owner their whole lives until today. They had been a mild irritant in the owner’s mouth for the past few months, which resulted in their extraction (that was actually quick and painless, I should add) that took place this morning. The owner does not want your thoughts and prayers whatsoever for the gone wisdom teeth, but ice cream and CBD medicine from the dispensary would be appreciated. 

And if you’re wondering, the anesthesia is starting to wear off…but the CBD capsule is kicking in! 

(Also, I didn’t take out the bottom two wisdom teeth. One can’t be taken out without complications so it stays, and the other–an impacted AF one–is not an urgent matter.)