In spite of this country showing me that I now have less rights than a Glock, a few actual good things happened recently. Because as much as life drives me to be one, I can’t be a bitter bitch the whole time. And we all gotta do this once in a while.
I attended a local pro-choice march last Friday. And it was within walking distance, so no driving! The pessimist in me is wondering how many more of these I’ll be marching in before the cuntservatives in the Supreme Court will get their heads out of their asses stuck in the 19th century and recognize that women’s reproductive rights are constitutional. But it was pretty encouraging to see that this march, which was organized same-day, had a very good turnout, with a diverse bunch of both women and men, olds and youths present. And not a single forced birther punkass fucked with us, thank goodness.
I made low-carb cinnamon rolls! After being tempted from a bakery show special on PBS that featured (among other tasty carb-y pastries) gooey cinnamon rolls, I chose to make them. It’s my first time using Carbquik flour, and while the texture of it looked kind of biscuit-y as opposed to doughy like a regular roll, oooh the taste. Recipe is here, but, according to the comments, nutrition facts are kind of all over the place (except for its net carbs).
And speaking of low-carb, I hit a milestone in my quest to have the body of a 90s swimsuit model (yeah right): yours truly has lost 40 pounds since going low-carb! I’m almost half the size I was when I started this, and while my wallet’s not thrilled with buying new clothes to fit my new frame, the shopping slut in me has never been more delighted. And thank goodies for thrift stores so I don’t have to spend too much. Take that, Standard ‘Murican Diet!
One thing that tells me I’m a total old without saying so:
That and the way “Mackenzie” gets spelled these days.
I’ve been seeing versions of “Senior 2022” on cars and elsewhere since late last year, which, compared to right now, was a slightly more idyllic time, which goes to show you how totally shitty times are these days. Why does that message make me feel like a fossil? I graduated high school 20 years ago this month! Class of 2002, baby! The year that also saw Bennifer 1.0, Xtina getting dirrty in assless chaps, and, most importantly, me turning 18. And if there’s one thing that will cause a gray hair to sprout from my crotch, it’s knowing that this year’s high school seniors weren’t even twinkles in their dad’s eyes when I tossed my cap into the air. Sheeit, some of their parents were probably in my graduating class!
One thing I remembered from my graduating class was seeing the small group of students that didn’t sit with the rest of us because they weren’t eligible to graduate. They still were required to wear the cap and gown, but I can’t imagine how godawful they felt watching everyone else walk up to the podium to get their degree. I did take some joy finding out a few kids I hated were part of that held back group. Make fun of me for being a loner nerd, huh? Enjoy 12th grade all over again, F-grade bitches!
I did have a message to give to the graduating class of this year, but telling them to not get addicted to their phones and social media and focus on instead achieving their dreams is almost pointless. Some of them want to be social media “celebs” (WHY?!) and they’ll need those soul-suckers to achieve that, um, dream. But who am I to talk? I’m not addicted to my phone and I have no social media and I still have yet to achieve some of my dreams! Sigh.
This weekend I rallied for women’s abortion rights, didn’t get much sleep, worked a long day at the spa again, and did my laundry and cleaned my floors after working said long day at the spa so I can have another lazy Monday. But all I want to do is share the following two things:
This superb sign from the Oakland Bans Off Our Bodies rally. I also got to see the mayor of Oakland speak, some women dressed as handmaidens from The Handmaid’s Tale (it’s not a pro-choice rally without it these days), some cute dogs, and a homeless but harmless drunk sitting with the crowd talking to himself while speakers shared their abortion stories.
My song of the week:
Why this jam? Yours Busy-as-hell will get to be lazy as hell till next Tuesday, for I’ll be taking a break from work starting today. I’m on Spring Break, bitches!
I didn’t bother driving, did yoga this morning, took a nice walk around the neighborhood in the afternoon, then sat on my ass for hours writing writing writing (and editing and finally finishing up the unfinished entries here), ate low-carb fatty ice cream while watching the Penguins win, and enjoyed my packages from Target and Mercari that arrived today. (Although that Mercari seller should know better than to package glass-bottled perfume in a basic envelope without any cushioning/protection; good thing it arrived intact). I didn’t have to clean anything and, more importantly, I didn’t encounter any idiots.
Say hello to THE perfume that defined my wild child days during the mid to late 2000s: Gucci’s Envy Me! I’m not sure how, where, or when we were introduced, but I know its floral-fruity notes had me hooked. This smell, which I still have as you can see (albeit down to a couple tablespoons left), takes me back to some fun-ass nights. Raving and humping sweaty, semi-drunk hotties on the dance floor at Ruby Skye in SF till 6AM. Getting lap dances from Love Spell-scented strippers at Crazy Horse (I swear, Love Spell was THE choice smell of strippers back then). Cruising down Sunset Blvd and partying at Avalon Hollywood during my summer trips to LA. Ah, to be in your 20s during a time before soul-sucking shit like cell phones, social media, and Covid came into existence. About the only thing I didn’t do then was go sans panties a la Britney and Lindsay, so I guess I wasn’t that much of a wild child. But, yes, just a whiff of Gucci’s Envy Me brings all that back. That it was discontinued some time ago is criminal (as is its expensive AF resell price these days), but it could’ve been worse: it could have been reformulated. *side-eyes J’Adore perfume*
Downside to today: having to go to work on a day I wasn’t supposed to work. I had to cover a shift for a co-worker who called in sick last minute.
Upside to today: my boss offering me double pay for my troubles. And that client who tipped me $50 for only 50 minutes of work. And seeing Sephora’s Spring Sale starting a little early online for us Rouge members (don’t be surprised I’m one)…
Time to bring out the tried and true!
Since going low-carb in my eats, I had to say goodbye to some of my faves that I can no longer eat because too many effing carbs. No more oatmeal, no more lasagna or pasta, not even (and this one hurts) Costco chicken bakes, honey. It’s a good thing I like to cook and bake because otherwise my meals would be nothing but fatty meats and dairy and the few pieces of cruciferous vegetable doused in olive oil. And that may sound exciting for some people doing low-carb, but my ass (which, I should mention, has lost over 10 pounds since doing this shit almost a month ago) needs variety!
So I made the following (not all of this in one day, now)…
Keto Oatmeal! Or should it be “noatmeal”? There are plenty of low-carb/keto oatmeal recipes out there, but I’ve turned to this recipe the most because of how flavorful and filling it is. It truly is filling at 27 grams of fatty-fat-fat-fat in just half a cup, which alone gets the Quaker Oats dude shaking in his boots.
I had this yesterday morning, along with a cuppa of homemade Bulletproof coffee. Shout out to Macy’s for the milk frother they sold for $6. I get frothy coffee at home now!
Keto Chicken Cordon Bleu Casserole! I should note that I’m not doing Keto; it just so happens that many of the low-carb recipes I’ve been following are from Keto foodie sites. The result looks a lot more cheesy in person, and it should: the recipe calls for a whole box of cream cheese. And the crushed pork rinds is not an optional thing; it HAS to be done! Like with mac & cheese (which I need to find a low-carb version of soon), the crunchy top takes the dish to the next level.
And, finally, one of my proudest culinary achievements:
Low-Carb Costco Chicken Bake! It may not look like it because it came out shorter than it should have and a little too crispy. But that I was able to make one (actually, the recipe gave me three of them) is enough to warrant a happy dance. One thing I didn’t realize was that the dough recipe is very similar to that of Fathead Dough, which is a staple of plenty of “bread-y” low-carb/keto dishes. So I made two firsts in one recipe: Fathead Dough and the chicken bake. I is proud. Not so much the fat-fearing nutritionists out there, but oh well.
Thanks to a rare opening in the nails department at my new spa job, I treated myself to another Gel Mani-Pedi today. Before working at my new job, I rarely got mani-pedis. (Because I did mah nails mahself.) Now I’ve gotten two in a month. You don’t need to say it–I’m getting spoiled. That groundhog may have predicted six more weeks of tit-freezing winter, but that won’t stop me from flaunting these Valentine’s Day-ready nails out to the world. I may risk frostbite (it actually has been annoyingly cold here lately), but at least my nails will stay hooked up.
Since my last post, I missed some important stuff. I didn’t have time to give birthday wishes to two of my queens (like they’ll ever read it), do a farewell post to a fashion icon, or acknowledge that one day viewership spiked here. I know, pigs are flying now.
What I did have time while being swamped with busyness was succumbing to madness. No, I didn’t buy a Justin Bieber album; I would never go that far off the deep end. Yours Crazy has gone low-carb in her meals. Why, after all my past raves of sugary, starchy goodness? Because Yours Crazy also has some adipose her vain self needs to shed. After reading up on which, ugh………..diet (and now I feel icky for typing that out) can work for me, the low-carb, high-fat way sounded the most doable. I get to eat plenty of fats and some protein, but I needed to ditch my carb-heavy starches. You don’t know how much my stomach weeped when I did the latter. No, really, doing LCHF weirded my body out in the beginning. And I was only slowly getting into it; I could not quit carbs cold turkey.
I actually started this over a week ago, and transitioning into LCHF was a trip, but oooh the water weight I was losing. And the energy I was gaining! No lie or people paying me to say this shit–I felt more energetic since ditching high-carb foods. The fat I get to consume has also kept me full for hours on end; I don’t see the need to snack at times. And the Carb Manager app has come through for me.
However! Whenever I walk past the sections for fruits (yes, most fruits are now off-limits), candies, bread, and my beloved chips/crackers in any grocery nowadays, I’m all…
And I’m reaaally bright to start this shit right before Valentine’s Day–the other holiday besides Christmas where sweets and sugar get pimped out to the hilt. Avocado Gods, give me strength.
Some crappy stuff may have happened recently, but so did some cool stuff.
Getting a new mani/pedi! It’s been ages since mah nails got fully pampered, and when I had someone else cut my toenails. The new spa I work at also offers nail services, and us workers get a sweet employee deal for manicures and pedicures. I had some free time after my shift, a nail tech had an opening in her schedule, and the chipped paint on my nails needed to go. I opted for gel polish so my shizz would stay on longer, and while the process took a little longer than expected, the finish was worth the time!
I forgot the name of the polish used, though. It was from OPI and I’m guessing it could be this pretty thing.
Free luxe makeup!! Two weeks ago, I finally received my order for Pat McGrath Labs (that I ordered back in early December), and, since I have all the luck in the world, my Celestial Divinity palette had a broken powder in it (it was that lovely green one at the bottom corner), and the rest of the powders got affected. I emailed PMG’s customer service, and they ended up offering me a free Celestial Divinity palette. A freebie! That baby is worth $78 (and is currently sold out), and the messed-up palette is actually still usable. Now I have two of them! *sniffles in joy*
I’m a few days late in this, but I must give a shout-out to MJ Rodriguez for being the first transgendered actress to win a Golden Globe. Viva Blanca Evangelista! Now can Pose be brought back for just a couple more seasons, please?