Smelling Like Teen Spirit

Bath & Body Works’ Semi-Annual Sale recently ended, and despite amassing a haul that made my bank account curse my name to the depths of Hell yet again, I could not find my precious that is B&BW’s Sun-Ripened Raspberry body spray. And then I learned it got discontinued. Again. It blows because my current SRR spray (that I bought five, six (?) years ago) is now 20 percent full and has a janky nozzle. But I still enjoy it from time to time despite the pump “squirting” out the scent as opposed to emitting a fine mist, as its scent takes me back to some good ol’ days.

You know you’re a true old when you remember buying that scent in that bottle with that label, at the B&BW in your local mall that was right next to Sam Goody and across from 5-7-9 and Suncoast Motion Picture Company. Along with Body Fantasies and Bottled Emotion, B&BW’s body sprays were the first perfumes teen me owned, and Sun-Ripened Raspberry, Cucumber Melon, and Country Apple were mah jams. In my umpteenth attempt to relive my pimple-ridden, chubby-faced youth, I was able to snag some goodies of the last two scents from B&BW’s recent sale. Of course, not a single Sun-Ripened Raspberry product was in sight. Not even on their website, and the going prices for SRR stuff on eBay alone is ridiculous. The nerve of those eBay sellers to put a price on pure nostalgia!

I’ll let BasenoteBitch close it out for me: 

This is one of the aromatic idols Bath and Body Works pumped out starting circa 1996. The girl who wears this is a nubile wobbling baby deer in her new Steve Madden Slinky slides. She’s on her way to her first dance recital with approximately 800 bobby pins and glitter spray in a very tightly wound bun. Said bun is likely stopping valuable blood to the brain.

Side note: I read that and one other review from that hilarious perfume review site, and instantly bookmarked it.

THE Album Review Of The Year

Which can also be used as a definition of “how to read an awful ho to filth”:

album review pt 1

album review pt 3

album review pt 2 (crop)

The rest of that gem of a review can be found here. Oh, the shaaaaade that came from it. “It sounds like it was written by an incel.” “He has a voice for acting.” “The best bits…are the instrumentals.” And that very last line…

Reading sure is fundamental, and that album review is right up there with this zero-stars beatdown of Fist Brown. Ladies and gents, the library is closed, the mic has dropped, the bitch got dragged, and nature is starting to heal.

Escape To Eataly

The Bay Area officially has one of these now!

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Because I can’t keep grumbling about how awful it is being a Bi woman of color of child-bearing age in 2022 ‘Murica, I took a day trip Thursday. Where I chose to go was not to a beach or a state park far from home, but to a mall in the South Bay Area. Hold your side-eyes, because that mall isn’t just any mall, but the Westfield Santa Clara. Where they got your typical mall finds like Macy’s and Cinnabon to shops for the bougie crowd like Bloomingdale’s and Louis Vuitton. And now the mall has Nor-Cal’s only Eataly! I have to say that it was kind of fun telling others at work I was going to Eataly for my weekend, as I had a few thinking I was actually going to Italy. Honey, I can’t squeeze an Italy vacation in my three days off, and I still won’t be flying anywhere until Covid cases reach its lowest.

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Three floors of Italian good-good?! My ass is there. 

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One of the many, many, many, many house-made foods I could not freely indulge in. *sad face*

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Ditto their pizza bar. And not a low-carb option in sight. (And, yes, I am fussy with my low-carbness nowadays.)

You may be asking me the one question I was asking myself upon setting foot into the three-story market: what am I doing in a fancy Italian food market which contains a lot of carb-heavy foods I can only consume through sniffing? Eataly, like the country it represents, was new territory that intrigued me. And while I walked around the place kind of wishing they opened a year ago when I was not doing low-carb, it wasn’t just pastas and pizzas and breads they sold. Fresh-cut meats, fish fresh from the sea, and almost every cheese you can imagine were also available.

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Meats in the middle, and a mozzarella lab. No cheese was being made when I was there, sadly. But there were plenty of aged parmesan cheese logs (?) found.

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No fresh baked bread around. No problem for me, although the 2021 version of me would shriek in horror over this! 

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Three ways to wine. Their vast selection would make a Napa Valley winery jelly. 

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The third-floor marketplace. Oh, and look–more foods that I can only look at but not buy and eat on the spot.

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Rooftop view from the Terra Patio Bar, which I captured from inside the store since the rooftop was only for the diners (thus the reflection of someone in the pic)

I did buy a couple things there: some imported pork fat and the darkest of the dark 100% pure chocolate bar. I may not have shopped till I dropped there (even if I was still eating carbs, that place is pricey), but getting to explore a store that’s only found in eight other locations in North America was the bigger takeaway, and you can’t put a price on that.