Hump Day Update and Rants

What am I doing posting here when I should instead be working on converting my finished story into an eBook and marketing it to y’all? Yes, I need to reevaluate my priorities, but when you’ve been busy with your regular job the past week and all you want to do when you get home after a long work day is stick your feet in the feet massager (that you got for $5 at a thrift store, TYVM) while binge-watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer, why should I bother.

I’ll get the eBook project going, I swear.

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While shopping at a Home Goods yesterday, I saw a book called (IIRC) Luxury Gifts For Men. Curious over what those gifts were, I skimmed the book. Oddly, a kinky night with a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model isn’t listed, but there were some gifts they had that I would’ve loved. They featured a Bugatti, a private island, a stay at a French chalet, and I’m wondering who the hell made that book “gifts for men” only?! Sheeit, some women and non-binaries want those gifts, too! All the more reason to make some things gender-neutral.

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Much congrats to the Milwaukee Bucks for winning the NBA Finals! A part of me pined for a Game 7, and it almost looked like the series was going to get that after that second quarter. But I’m happy for the team, and for the city of Milwaukee. This year’s Finals was one I actually enjoyed, partially because it involved two unexpected teams in cities shamefully overlooked by the major sports media.

Dat big-ass crowd outside the Bucks arena, tho. Pandemic or not, I can’t do those things anymore. Because getting old.

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Finally, nothing says insecure choad than a grown-ass person addressing their “haters” on their social media over something trivial. It’s one thing if you do that when you’re a teen, but if you’re doing that shit in your mid-30s, just fucking stop. Adult for a change.

Summer of ’96 – My Soundtrack

Ah, the Summer of 1996. The Chicago Bulls returned to NBA glory by winning their 4th championship after going 72-10 in the regular season. Independence Day was blowing up box-office records. And pre-teen me may have set a personal record by watching way too much MTV and eating too much Doritos in one day. Hey, that was when MTV was still great and not the waste of try-hard bungwipe that it is today, and Doritos was one of my favorite food groups as a kid. But talk about a time for music–for pop and R&B in particular. Who knew that the songs I overplayed on my cassette player that summer of ’96 would define what could arguably be the last golden era of pop and R&B?

I used to watch a lot of MTV Jams back then, and I don’t recall one day when this video did not air. That’s how hot this track was.

By the way, I recently discovered another song with the same sample LL used for the “Loungin'” remix. Though it ended up flopping (it supposedly had the misfortune to be released right after LL’s song), it’s certainly not a flop in my house! I actually like that version too.

Look, kids–that’s how hot women in music werked it in the 90s. No overinflated keesters, trout pouts, clown makeup, and basic twerking. (I am aware of the many wigs Toni went through in this video, by the way.) Just pure sensuality in a saucy song that is sadly absent in music these days.

SWV may have been my girl group that summer. This slow jam and “You’re The One” were played often.

Confession: I used to do some singing as a kid. Nothing professional–just choirs and some musical numbers in school plays. Whenever this got played, I belted it out like I was trying to get five stars on Star Search. I can’t sing for shit these days, so I’m kind of amazed over how I was able to sing this (or any song) then.

Also, I’m aware that this song came out in 1995, but I bought the single in ’96, so its placement on this list counts.

The Waiting To Exhale soundtrack remains legendary to this day. You couldn’t call yourself a R&B fiend then and not own that soundtrack. I was such a Brandy fan, and the song is not just a memorable bop, but homegirl had style in that video!

Also, and I’m gonna say it, but I’m glad I had artists like Brandy and Monica around at an age when I was discovering music on my own. They were teen sensations, but they weren’t being presented as jailbait or overly sexual like what would become of some young female pop acts years later. I remember reading about Brandy and Monica in Word Up and Seventeen, and they were just straight-up classy and age-appropriate. No fakeness, no ratchet shit, no problem!

This, along with LL’s “Loungin'”, was THE summer jam of ’96. There were many days I would sing this to my posters of 3T and Immature in my bedroom in hopes that they’d become my boo. And it worked…in my dreams. (Yes, I had a crush on those guys, and, yes yes, I am of that generation that had posters on my bedroom wall. God, I’m really showing my age here.)

Pre-teen me thought this was another innocent, fun dance song. Hearing those lyrics as a sort-of-a grown-up nowadays…oh, honey.

R&B and rap weren’t the only genres I got down to that summer. And you could not escape a Top 40 station without this song playing.

I took a road trip to Seattle with my old folks that summer, and I remember wearing out the cassette player of my old man’s truck from playing this jam (and the other songs above) a lot during the road trip. How that tape survived that two week trip, I don’t know.

*sighs* I miss ya, George.

There are more songs to this soundtrack but aren’t posted. Basically, any hot R&B/rap/pop/dance song from 1995 and the first eight months of 1996 was part of my summer soundtrack. Oh, and there was that one Latin dance song from that year that spawned some dance craze that I’d post here, but, eh, I’d rather not.

Nurturing The Makeup Slut In Me

beauty haul!

I’m not gonna wait till tomorrow to do a Happy Monday post on this, as I’m still giddy from this beauty haul I got yesterday! Yours Busy has been working a lot lately, which means, besides worn limbs from massaging bodies all day, extra spending dough! And when I found out that The Cosmetics Company Store is running a “6 For $60” makeup sale in their outlet stores, the makeup slut in me squealed. Even though she also needs to be gagged by a bunch of beautyblender sponges, as I have a lot of makeup already. I feel like I can start my own micromini Sephora with the collection I have. Nonetheless, I ran to that sale, honey. 

The shit I got: Estee Lauder Double Wear foundation, a Bobbi Brown eyeshadow palette, Tom Ford Traceless Perfecting Foundation (yes, I bought two foundations so judge away), a Smashbox face palette, MAC’s Pro Lip Palette, and my newest fave–Clinique’s Lash Power mascara. Oh, and a MAC limited edition eye kit that wasn’t part of the sale but was another bargain in itself; it was 75% off from its original price. I later added up the original retail prices of all my buys, and it totaled to over $300. Dayum. That TF foundation alone usually goes for $88! I spent around $76 for all seven products. After I left the store, I felt like I committed thievery because talk about a steal. 

It’s Goat Time!

My last two posts were fueled by natural bitchiness. This one won’t be, I swear. (Not making promises about the next post, though.)

While many people are traveling far and away again for ‘Murica Day weekend, I gotta stay home because I have work later today. But, for once in…I forgot how many years, I rest on July 4th. And that’s a good thing because maybe then I can revisit a hidden local gem I discovered last week. I’d say it’s a brothel deep in the Oakland hills where all the ladies look like a 90s version of Carmen Electra, but it’s actually a field of goats. (No, that’s not code word for a brothel.)

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I do mobile massage and I travel around the East Bay Area for work. You’d think I’d be fed up with driving after my grocery delivery temp job from last year, but I actually like driving for work. (Until I encounter those idiot drivers who don’t signal/cut you off/drive so damn slow, etc.) Anyway, one of my clients from last week lives in Chabot Park, and after their appointment, I explored their neighborhood a bit. An unexpected turn onto a dead-end road led me to this land of billys, nannys, and kids. It’s been ages since I got to see some goats up close, so this was all fascinating for me!

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I would’ve pet that critter, but there was this obstacle.

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I tested that electric fence by tapping a tall piece of hay on it. I didn’t get shocked but the hay broke off.

Also, I honestly thought this was some kind of goat farm, and then my uneducated ass learned a bit on goat grazing programs.

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This dog was breaking the rules! Going around with no leash and all! Actually, that pup played guard to the goats.

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Those kids ain’t right. They were butting heads!

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Those lucky goats get to dine, combat fires, and reside with a view. (Look very closely to the left and you can see the Golden Gate Bridge!)

All that was missing from this little trip was a baby’s bottle full of milk.

Those Bitches!

A new month, a new batch of bitches for the chopping block. 

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If the fuckery on June 30th didn’t boggle your mind, here’s what us Californians with a brain now have to deal with. This waste-of-time-and-money has been hyped for a year now, started by ass-backward wacko fucks who don’t want to move to another state that would better suit their political and social needs. (I’m sure I’ve seen some of them last fall up on that El Curtola overpass in Lafayette protesting the election results–maskless, naturally–with their signs saying “Bring Back 1776” or some dumbass shit like that.) You know they’re wacko fucks when, despite our governor doing this and this recently and presiding over a state with the country’s top economy, they still want him out. Ask them why and they’ll likely give you a response as coherent as an ill dog taking a dump. Hey, wacko fucks–there are other states you can move to with governors that I’m sure you’ll admire. Some govern states with high Covid rates since they also think the vaccine and pandemic are hoaxes, or/and have crappy energy infrastructure that will really fuck you up when a freezing cold front hits. But I’m sure you’ll never recall them. 

Gah. Idiots!

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I used to not know this guy. In the Mariah way. If I can’t stand your ass, I prefer to not know you. That’s my congenial nature for ya. So while I witnessed the Giants go on a tragic losing streak this week (I wish I didn’t know this), one of my team’s nemesis got revealed as more than just a try-hard douche bitch. Now I know who Bauer is–a disgusting abusive bitch that needs to be locked up! I’m sure newly-freed Pill Cosby sends his regards to him, though. 

Also, those ingrates saying “BDSM” was involved between him and that woman…yeah, it was “BDSM” in the same vein that 50 Shades was. 

 

And Glamour Is Served

It may be the end of Pride month today, but Pride never ends in my home! While some are already gearing up to celebrate ‘Murica Day, I’m still recovering from the immense eleganza that got served my way when I rewatched that clip from Pose above. When I originally watched that Fairy Tale Extravaganza weeks ago, I swear, my nips stayed hard from excitement long after that episode finished. I resorted to looking at a pic of the Dodgers to deflate my nip boner.

Pose is one of my favorite shows, and I’m bummed that it had to end after only three seasons. Shitty reality shows have lasted longer, and that’s an injustice in itself! That scene alone should have given Pose at least three more seasons. That clip served up more fashun, whimsy, and GLAMOUR than any red carpet show and Met Gala event from the past seven years. About the only thing that can probably come close to matching that is if there’s a ball dedicated to international style icon Bai Ling. Come on Mama Ru–Night of 1000 Bai Lings on Drag Race right now! 

Feeling Hot Hot Hot

Heat waves are never funny, especially when they fuck up a region not used to heat waves at all. But oh this sign…

hot in tacoma

How come the East Bay Area didn’t get that kind of sign when we had our heat wave a couple weeks ago?! You know we’ll be needing that sometime in July. And August. And maybe September. 

On the sorta-kinda plus side, Pacific Northwesters can finally do this.  

Stay cool and hydrated, fellow West Coasters! 

Pic courtesy of this site