The Big 5-0

Who cares about Joanne The Transphobe continuing to add shit to her shit-covered reputation, parents making questionable choices by naming their kids after 80s metal bands and dude-bro crap, and Kate Moss once fishing out a diamond necklace out of the stanky abusive misogynistic ass of her former BF when the REAL news is this: since going low-carb seven months ago, I’ve officially lost 50 pounds!!!!!

Have I reached my goal weight? Not just yet, but the goal is near. (And I’m aware of revealing how big I used to be here.) Trying on pants in sizes I thought I’ve never fit my former fat ass in is quite surreal, as well as being reminded of what size I wore last year…and even 10, 20 years ago. Especially 20 years ago, when I was at my biggest. I’m practically in my late 30s and I look and feel miles better than when I graduated high school. Who knew that dumping refined carbs and sugars (and some exercise, of course) would shed all the excess blubber? So suck on that, low-fat diets!