Bull Shirt!

In honor of Scorpio season, here’s this “Scorpio” shirt I got for $4 at Ross years ago that had never been worn and had been in storage until a few days ago. I’d wear it, but those traits…Loving? Sensitive? Who does that designer think we are, Pisces? About the only thing correct on that shirt are the dates of Scorpio, although that’s debatable, too.

Maybe the designer meant to add the following:

It’s Hard To Stay “Quiet” While I’m Fulfilling My Raging Sexual Urges

“Loving” Myself The Most Because I Da Best Fuck Everyone Else

I’m “Psychic”; I Predict I’m Going To Ignore Your Ass


I’m A “Deep Thinker” When It Comes To Plotting Revenge Against Bitches Who Did Me Wrong


Besides, real Scorpios would never wear a shirt saying that they’re Scorpios. We don’t want strangers knowing what our sign is right off the bat!