Pouring One Out For Fry’s

a fry's store

It’s the end of an era, y’all. If you walked into a Fry’s Electronics recently, its sales floor of near-empty shelves and totally-absent helpful customer service was, without question, the clear winner in the Bleak AF Retail Store Pageant (with Sears as the close runner-up, of course). But if you remember shopping there during Fry’s heyday back in the 2000s and early 2010s, you remember the good times. Electronics galore to make a tech whore cream, their mini home theater rooms where couples would makeout while some movie played IMAX-level loud, their actual good deals (I scored a 1TB internal hard drive there for $50 years ago, and that was super-cheap compared to the going prices of such items then), and, in certain cities, their quirky storefronts! (Pictured above is their San Jose location.) Basic-ass Best Buy could never do cool shit like this. 

It was also the only retail store where you can pick up a MacBook, a Blackberry Curve, and “Busty Brunettes #3” all at the same time, thanks to their oh-so subtle Adults Only section. (And, no, I wasn’t reading my Fry’s receipt from the Concord location back in June 2007, I swear.) 

another-proud-employee-of-frys-electronics

Look at that–even in the porno section, there’s an employee who proudly merchandises the area. I should’ve put that “fast, friendly, courteous service” to the test and asked whoever managed the pornos, “what’s the better recommendation for a dateless ho like me: Black In My Crack or Weapons of Ass Destruction?”

You will be sorely missed, Fry’s. But can you stay open for just an hour longer before joining Sports Authority and Toys R Us in Retail Store Heaven? I gotta see if you got some cameras for cheap. Better if they got that “Reduced Price” sticker on the box! (I lived for their “Reduced Price” items.)