I Old

Things that will be 25 effing years old this year that I enjoyed when they originally came out:

Spice Girls’ debut album

“The Nutty Professor” (Hercules! Hercules! And the soundtrack was slammin’ too!)

“Hunchback Of Notre Dame” (hey, I was a pre-teen in ’96)

–the debut of “3rd Rock From The Sun” (and my crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt!)

–Aaliyah’s “One In A Million” album

“Independence Day”

Pop-Up Fucking Video

–also, these following shows: Moesha, Kenan & Kel, and Hey Arnold!

“Homerpalooza”!

–THE DAMN MACARENA DANCE AND THAT DAMN SONG (no link necessary)

–Fugees’ “The Score” album

“Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood” 

–2Pac’s “All Eyez On Me” album  

–Toni Braxton’s “Secrets” album

–speaking of, the start of my crush on Tyson Beckford after I saw him in Toni’s “Unbreak My Heart” video

THIS SONG AND VIDEO

–also this eternal bop and the video full of natural-looking babes (no fake titties and asses, slug lips, heavy makeup, and super-straight weaves?! Shocker!)

“Space Jam”!!!!

“Beavis & Butthead Do America”

–and, of course, this forever jam and the video that always gets me feeling FIERCE whenever I listen to it!

Just remembering all this had me sprout a gray hair or ten, but to those who say they’d rather go back to 2019 (why?) or 2009 instead of living in 2020 Part 5, you youths don’t know true halcyon days! Take me back to 1996 instead! Sure, I’d have to put up with slow-ass dial-up and that screeching sound from the modem to get the world wide web via Compuserve, but it’s not a bad trade-off when I could also enjoy all of the above and also a time when politics was less polarizing and when real supermodels graced the covers of my fashion mags.

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