This week’s Hump Day is brought to you by the big schlong of superstar hockey goalie and long-time panty creamer of mine Henrik Lundqvist! Yes, you read that right! And, yes, this news is a few years old (and I discovered that gem after reading this recent post on teh Reddits), but it’s still a lot more interesting and pleasing to the eye than hearing about some smooth-brained celeb throwing a big Thanksgiving party during a damn pandemic.
Sadly, there aren’t any pictures of his hockey stick floating around the webs, but take former teammate Sean Avery’s word for it:
Yes, I’m aware that Avery can be cray, but if he was honest enough to call his former nemesis Martin Brodeur a “fatso”, he wouldn’t lie about Hank’s wang! (Side note: I’m curious over what the next paragraph reads. Does it go into more detail about his peen?! Now I need to read Sean’s book!) And I’m sure athletes see a lot in locker rooms, and sometimes we’re lucky to get sneak peeks inside! For those who don’t follow hockey or/and sports, first up, you are missing out. And second, this is Henrik…
I’ll let you finish cleaning up your genital slobber. Now picture him with a hole-wrecker
and me all up on it that would make the peens of Jon Hamm and Idris Elba a little jelly. I’m not a size queen, but that’s an image that hits my five-hole.
Also, TIL that Wang also means “king” in Mandarin Chinese, and Lundqvist’s nickname is “King Henrik”, so the post title works two ways!