Unless you want to risk catching something far more scarier than some pre-teen girl dressing up as a hooker rapper with an over-inflated ass and ego (OK, maybe just a little scarier) today, stay the fuck home this year. Eat yo candy in yo costume in yo home and Zoom/Facetime yo friends if you want.
As for me, I won’t give details of my costume but I know I’ll be home nursing a gimpy left leg that I don’t know how it got gimpy in the first place. (I know I turned a year older yesterday but I shouldn’t be getting this old people pain shit right away.) I’ll also be binge-watching all my favorite Halloween-themed episodes of my favorite shows. Like this (edited) gem from one of The Simpsons “Treehouse Of Horror” episodes. *sighs* When presidential parodies made you laugh instead of cringe because of how one (or both) of the guys are in reality.