I almost went with posting just the first bit below, but I recently discovered the second part (via Reddit, of course), and it was too good to pass up! Double your pleasure today!
One of my favorite time-wasters is browsing through ooooooold Dlisted posts (which were a LOT funnier than what I read from that site these days). In doing so, I stumbled upon this vintage jewel of tender affection in need of requite:
You know you’re taking Slut Life to the next level when your choice of salad-tossing music is the rimjob-friendly vocals of Lionel Ritchie. And seeing that this ad is now 10 years old, I hope the ass-eating ho in SoHo made her Inception-themed wet dream come true.
Butt I’m also wondering where and what was Gabrielle Union doing 10 years ago…
And, finally, a splooge-blast from the past, courtesy of Mickey Mantle and his favorite Yankee Stadium moment…
Wait, wait…dude got sucked off by the entire Yankee bullpen?!?! *reads the second part* Aww, damn. *puts away Freak Of The Week award*
(I am snickering over the “give as much detail…” part, though. Way to set him up, Yankee organization!)
I must give Mantle some slut points for getting a BJ during a game, but I also have to take a few points off for using his pulled groin as an excuse to not going all the way with some baseball trick. A real slut would’ve made NO excuses and gone all the way! Even Lindsay Blohan, who I’m sure hustled with her Johns with blown-out orifices before, is going “tsk-tsk” on “the all-American boy”. Mantle may be a baseball legend, but his ass would not have survived if he had to work the ho stroll.