Mmmm, Cheetos

riri_hb2020

This week’s Hump Day post is brought to you by Rihanna on the September subscriber cover of Harper’s Bizarre (typo and it stays), wearing some designer coat that I’m sure was made from the skins of many Muppet rejects. If you’re wondering about the post title, I cannot be the only one who sees that coat & picture and think “flying processed cheese-dusted puffs!” They take up more space than the head of Miss Ooh Na Na! I’m sure fellow Cheeto hound Britney Spears saw this pic and also thought the same thing.

I like RiRi and the rest of her layout, but I refuse to give props to HB. Especially after all the times they foolishly gave covers to the K-trash, Cardi B Exhausting, and the Hadont sisters. Oh, and there was this criminal act of fuckery that should have caused Diana Vreeland to rise back up from the dead and bitch-slap HB’s delusional AF editor-in-chief (whoever she is/was).  Frankly, if they really wanted to redeem themselves, they could’ve started by using this shot of RiRi for their cover instead:

riri_coolshirt

High heels, diamonds, and sunglasses at night? Helmut Newton would approve. And if you’re wondering what’s in the trash bags, it’s the unsold products of Fist Brown’s latest album & Secondary Reality Show Personality’s “skincare” line (and RiRi’s got many, many more bags of the first two to throw out), as well as what’s left of Drake’s ability to find women 18 and over attractive, and Beyonce’s best weaves (RiRi would keep them but she’s got better taste!).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s