The REAL Face of Baseball!



Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, Jackie Robinson, and Hank Aaron (these are all baseball players, for those who don’t do sports, by the way) may all be Baseball Hall-of-Famers and faces of the league during their respective primes. But I bet a bag of stadium peanuts that none of them gave impeccable stank face to a player of the opposing team like Dodgers’ relief pitcher Joe Kelly! That face is me (pre face-mask days) when I witness some basics wearing frayed skinny pants, with their dead eyes glued to their cell phones. That face is me when I see people dancing to the aural abomination known as autotuned mumble rap. And that face is most definitely me when I muffin top my favorite pair of jeans. Seriously, Joe Kelly’s stank face is the face MLB should adopt to represent the league today. A mug of the people! Mike Trout better step up his relatable mug game quick. Also, this is probably the one and only time I’m not mad someone isn’t wearing a face mask. (Stupid Covid–go be eradicated now!)

That that touching gesture of bitter bitchiness was directed against some player of the team that cheated to win the World Series against their team (and starting a bench-clearing incident afterwards, which would’ve been a brawl if there was no pandemic going on) makes this grand. That Joe also served more face in that six-second GIF than Hailey Blahwin-Bieber has done in her entire “modeling” career is also boss. And you know 2020 really has us all in the upside down as it’s got this Giants fan actually liking something from a Dodger player! *gasps*

**Update: apparently Stank Face Kelly got suspended some games for his actions in last night’s game. Meanwhile, none of the *stros have yet to face any suspensions for their cheating ways. Altogether now: WUT.

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