Swoooooon

Just when this year be cunting (I know it’s not a word but roll with it) hard for the umpteenth time by revealing how much the supposed “Internet’s Boyfriend” enjoys wearing face masks in public (re: not at all), here comes a midriff-baring Venus from the heavens to save the day and salvage the year! Yes, it’s ubermodel/former spouse to an emu/my future wife Irina Shayk struttin’ her stuff in New York, showing the no-mask wearing lessers that you can flaunt hotness and safety. See, Keanu? It’s not that hard!

Look at my lady’s style–the face is in 2020 and the rest is in 1991. Needs some hoop earrings, a large print of Color Me Badd on the shirt, and a Motorola Micro-TAC to replace the hell phone in her hand to complete the throwback, but I still approve (duh)! If there was a Miss Quarantine Universe pageant, Irina would easily snatch the crown with this pic, hands down.

(Update 9/8/20: and yes, this was originally part of the previous post. But after re-reading it–almost two months after I posted it, I know–who was I to lump a masked goddess with that no-mask wearer in one post? Shame on me!)

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