Red-Headed Woman

In addition to writing, working, and wanking, another thing has been taking up my time as of late. Folks, as of today (OK, more like last Wednesday), I’m no longer a jet-head. My natural black locks have been newly dyed a nice auburn red, and I didn’t have to go to a salon for it. (The salons are still closed in my area, and I don’t want to shell out the dollahs to dye my hair when I can do that at home for cheaper.)  In short: I’M NOW A REDHEAD!!

How did I do it? Thank the people at L’Oreal for creating this product:


A little backstory: I colored my hair a couple months ago with some temporary hair color spray I found at Target. I thought it would work; the color (which was purple) did show up, albeit sheerly because, again, black hair. The very next day, however, the color faded, as did my hopes for trying to color my hair again. I always felt like my hair was tough to color. No matter what I’d do and use, my black hair would not accept the color I’d give it. Up until recently, hair color products were a beauty expense I rarely indulged in, but only because I had bad luck with them.

Then, sometime after that failed purple dye job, I came across L’Oreal’s HiColor HiLights for Dark Hair. I watched some videos on how to apply the stuff, and it seemed easy. Those videos, which featured women using the Magenta color, also shifted my need for purple hair in favor for deep red locks. *gasp* Me, a redhead?! But I felt like red tresses would be more suitable for summer and the upcoming fall as opposed to purple. (And if I do want to return to purple, there are also some purple/violet shades in the HiColor line.)

My hankering to go red coincided with non-essential stores like Sally’s Beauty reopening again. In addition to all the prep stuff (creme developer, processor caps, etc.), I bought a couple of boxes of the HiColor Highlights in “Red”. I would’ve gotten Magenta, but the cool undertones of it wouldn’t work with the golden undertones of my skin. Shout out to the employees at Sally’s, who suggested Red for me, as I wanted a deep auburn red finish as opposed to an Ariel red.

Pics and more after the cut!

*The Long And Arduous Journey To Redheadedness*

I am not a colorist expert so don’t hold my ass accountable for the following, but I will give a few pointers (after Googling many, many pointers on how to dye hair). 1) Wait a couple days after your last shampoo/wash to dye. 2) Be “quick” in applying the dye. I read that the dye won’t process after leaving it on for a certain period of time. I found that a 25-minute “apply time” worked best. For the record, my hair is shoulder-length and naturally thick. Process time (aka the time my locks were covered in the smelly red slop and getting happy under the processing cap) was 35 minutes, so it took an hour altogether. 3) Get yourself a large brush to quicken the applying time. 4) If you’re hair was as black as mine, use the 40 developer. It’s not that harsh as some said it would be, but then again, depending on your hair type, YMMV. 5) Mixing bowls are fine to use, but I ended up using an empty cream jar to put the dye & developer in. The tall sides of the jar were better for me in case I got clumsy hands while handling the dye.

Having watched plenty of how-to videos, I don’t know how some chicks can film themselves coloring their hair in their bedrooms, of all places. Since I got a bathroom all to myself, it would be the setting where I would end my time as a jet-head. But since my bathroom is part of a studio rental, I had to make sure I covered my shizz up.


You call it janky, but to a cracked-out hobo, it’s the Four Seasons Penthouse Suite.


Cover yer walls, too! I know–it’s not pretty, but neither is the process of dyeing.


Why petroleum jelly? Not to channel my inner Ralph Wiggum and eat it, silly! It’s what you put along your hairline to not let the dye stick to your skin should it get on you.


If you don’t have a large mirror to check the back of your hair, find a large makeup palette with a mirror. Even when I don’t need a glow-up, Fenty’s Killawatt Foil Freestyle Highlighter Palette comes through in other ways. (Side note: that palette is the tits.)


Cheap-Ass Pro-Tip: if you don’t want to use towels to cover yourself from stains, nor want to shell out $$ for a protective drape, use a tall kitchen trash bag for covering. Cut the sides of it so that your arms can be free, and cut a slit up top for your head. I should also note that the mixture of the dye smells unpleasant AF. So if you don’t want to put a clothespin on your nose for the whole time, use your face mask. (See–another reason to have a face mask!)

The pics above and the one below were taken a week ago. With the kind of hair I have, I was told that it would take two (possibly three) applications for the color to come through. Here is my end result from last week…


Could it be?!? The color…actually…came through?! Oh…em…GEE!!! *does a happy dance* (Side note: no filter/photoshop was used! I’m not that much of a vain ho.)

What I also got from watching those videos was that you can re-color your hair again as soon as the day after the first dye to amplify the hue. I didn’t have enough time to do that last week, so I ended up recoloring mah mane almost a week later. The end result, from earlier today, was this…

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Look how red it is!! (OK, the lighting was brighter in the last pic, but I feel like my current dye job covered up more of my roots. And, yes, I do wear the same tank top every week.) Another tip: have some sulfate-free leave-in conditioner on hand when you wash your hair. It will soften your locks, and I say “sulfate-free” because anything with sulfates can fuck with your hair color.  (Or so that link says–again, I’m not a colorist expert!)

In outdoor light, the red really shows!

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Some of my roots still need to be covered, but this time I’m gonna wait a month to touch-up. I like my current shade and I’ll see how it turns up when I shampoo it in a few days. I liked going red, but, hoo boy, the time it took up. I could’ve been wanking during those times!

My heart (and hair color preferences on my ladies) remains brunette, but since I’m currently a redhead, I can now enjoy quotes like this!


Props to these videos that helped me reach a divine state of redheadedness!

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