Just Gimme The Fireworks*

It’s the Fourth of July weekend. Since I’m not wrapped in the hot dog-scented straight jacket called blind patriotism (that’s also made in China but marketed as “Made In The USA”), I have to ask: after all that has happened in this country since the start of that darn year that is 2020, is there anything about the US worth celebrating these days?!

I used to be one of those people who had no problem donning attire that had the stars & stripes, and not just because this Fil-Am chick wanted to show others that an American girl is not just some white blue-eyed blonde. (By the way, all that bullshit over white blondes constantly being hyped as the “all-American dream girl” shall always be countered by a quote from that wacko supermodel Janice Dickinson: “blonde? Blue-eyed? That’s not American, you idiots. It’s Scandinavian.”) I wore all that patriotic shit because there was a time when I appreciated being an American, despite the faults the country had then.

That was ten years ago, though. That blue USA hat of mine, and all my other clothes displaying the red-white-and-blue, has been collecting dust in its storage since late 2016. Unless we vote out the bullshit this November and beyond, all those clothes will continue to stay there. (Friendly reminder to VOTE BLUE, PEOPLE!!) Sheeit, you won’t even catch me eating a cookie with red, white, and blue sprinkles these days. Simply put, it’s just another work weekend for me the next two days. Come at me, blind patriots.

Until there is a time when it will be cool to genuinely exclaim “America–fuck yeah!” again, I’ll just stick with enjoying my fivesome fantasy involving American-born hotties Jason Momoa, Michael B. Jordan, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Adam Driver as my way of celebrating the Fourth of July. That and the soul food and fireworks.*

*But don’t fire them off at 3 in the fucking morning, goddammit. I work early shifts this weekend and I need to sleep early!

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