First first, I’ve had entries that have been finished days ago marked as “private” and have left it that way by accident lately. I do that with almost all my entries and other things have distracted me from publicly posting it. (That and I’ve been editing some of my old entries.) So if you see entries from a few days (or months) ago just pop up here, there’s your reason why.
Now, bad shit first: this time of the year blows chunks for me. Why? Well, first off, fair warning to those who idolize their mothers through thick and thin and can’t seem to grasp the notion that there are those who aren’t that fortunate with their own moms: y’all may need to leave the room.
Second, Mother’s Day (and the days leading up to it) has been a tough time for me for YEARS. Long story short: I did not have a decent mom in my life. She was selfish, manipulative, materialistic, money-hungry, and always put herself before the rest of her family (though she did spoil my brother senselessly, straining my relationship with him over time). Never physically abusive, but, without revealing too much, abuse does come in other forms and I’m still reeling from some of it. I once naively thought my estranged mother (I’m gonna be real here) would change for the better, but it never happened. I accepted the fact that she is who she is, and my life has been far better since I’ve gone no-contact from her years ago.
What I cannot accept are the ones who say I should respect my e-mom no matter what she has done to me. To which I say: bullshit bullshit BULLSHIT. Those fools are blind and have no clue what I and others with similar situations have gone through. The same thing also goes for those who have had shitty dads or shitty parents/guardians. Since May & June is Hero Parent Worship Season, I have found the excessive idolization of our parental figures baffling. Not only do we gotta buy them stuff during those days, but we have to tell them we love them too? Well, I guess I can forget that time when I did nothing wrong but mommy dearest still found it necessary to repeatedly tell me that she wanted to abort me, and I’ll just get her those bouquet of flowers with the “I ❤ You” note on it! That should patch up things!
And if you think I got at least one parental figure in my life to lean on…mmm, nope. Not anymore. Enabling parents are equally awful, and worse if they’re staunch voters of the Face-Eating Leopards Party. I might as well been raised by wolves.
To those who have dealt (or still dealing with) awful parents who find Hero Parent Worship Season unbearable, you’re not alone. Ignore the noise and the assholes who don’t know your story. Those who still have to live with them, please stay strong. Also, here’s a good subReddit for more support.
So what is the Good Shit? I don’t have to write paragraphs on it, but I finished the first draft of my story! I also edited the first six chapters, and while I still have over eighty more chapters to edit, my first story is now thisclose to completion! I guess a little happy dance is in order…