The REAL March Madness!

Who needs college bouncyball games when the sport of checking out empty store shelves as a result of excessive doomsday shopping is more entertaining?

By now, we’ve seen pictures and footage of crazed shoppers hoarding buttloads of stuff onto their carts that will last them till fall (or until May if they got a big family). But it’s seeing the aftermath of all the doomsday shopping that I find unusually fascinating. I don’t think I’ve seen a totally wiped out section of something during Black Friday. Seeing the empty shelves also highlights the absurdities of people’s purchasing habits. For instance, this shit, taken from the Whole Foods 365 store in Concord, CA:


If you’re wondering what that empty row once contained, it just happened to be *drumroll* yes, hand sanitizer. Fuck using basic-ass soap with all those emollients; let’s put on some germ-killing alcohol instead! Sheeit, I can only use hand sanitizer in moderation because that stuff really dries up my hands that’s already cursed with mild eczema.

Here are some of my favorite images depicting the aftermath of doomsday shopping.

Target (Pleasant Hill, CA)

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There was once water bottles on those shelves. Well, at least there’s always the section that sells filtered water pitchers! At least no one’s not really thinking of them…

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D’oh! (By the way, that metal Brita bottle on the top shelf is costly but worth your money.)

Target (San Ramon, CA)



Side note: I just got a new cell phone and I’m still configuring how to not make the lights in the pics give off that flashy, whatever-it’s-annoying effect.

Also, you may be screwed out on boosting your immune system, but at least you can still keep your lips on-point.



If you’re wondering what’s that lonely thing up there…


Sprouts (San Ramon, CA)


Hey, if you’re gonna hoard all the pasta, don’t forget the grated parmesan cheese!!

Costco (also in San Ramon) has become a notorious hotbed for doomsday shoppers lately. So when I went there a couple days ago, I was a little surprised to see not a single hoarder. I saw some full carts, but not a cart full of the same item. It sucked that I could not get my eggs there, but they did not disappoint me in their bread section.



Not pictured: the very last case of butter croissants in their bakery. Guess who got that? I did!!! *raises the roof*

PS: all these pics are mine mine mine. Don’t be a punkass by stealing these pics and passing it off as yours.